Part 25 (1/2)
”No guts yourself?”
”No brains brains, Mr. Graham? If I hit you, and I'm tempted, G.o.d! I'm tempted; they'll see the bruises - which I'd rather not, for your reputation and future -”
Jase swung. Bren didn't even think about doing it - he hit Jase hard. Jase grabbed his coat, Bren blocked a punch with one arm, hit Jase in the gut, and had to block another punch.
They hit the table together, holding on to each other. The candle fell, they both overbalanced and went down, and Bren writhed his way to his knees, blind, angry, and being hit by an idiot he wanted to kill. Before he got a grip on Jase, Jase got a grip on him, and they knelt there on the floor like two total fools, each with a deathgrip on the other's coat, sleeve, arm, shoulder, whatever.
”Get up,” he said. ”We've put the d.a.m.n candle out. Are you trying to burn the building down?”
”d.a.m.n you.”
He shook at Jase. Jase was braced. They were that way for several more breaths.
”Are they going to walk in and find us like this?” he asked Jase. ”Get up!”
”Let go.”
”No way in h.e.l.l.”
”Truce. Let go.”
He didn't let go. He started to get up, Jase started to get up, and they got up leaning on each other, still holding on to each other, managing a slow, mistrustful disengagement.
Fool, he said to himself. He wasn't surprised. He wasn't happy, either, as he trusted Jase's common sense enough to pick up the candles, the extinguished one in the holder and the entire basket of them that had been overset.
He took a match, relit the candle. They'd delivered body blows, at least of those that had landed; and hadn't done each other visible damage, give or take dust on their clothes. The candle and the wan light from the window showed him Jase with hair flying loose, collar rumpled, a sullen look. He figured it had as well be a mirror of himself at the moment.
”We have to go to dinner tonight.”
”In this wreckage?”
”This is a Historic Monument, Jasi-ji, and I suggest if she declares it's a palace on the moon you bow and agree that it's very fine and you're delighted to be here.” is a Historic Monument, Jasi-ji, and I suggest if she declares it's a palace on the moon you bow and agree that it's very fine and you're delighted to be here.”
There was a long silence from the other side.
”Yes, sir,” Jase said.
”I'm not sir sir.”
”Oh, but I thought you'd taken that back. You are sir sir or you or you aren't aren't in this business, so make up your mind!” in this business, so make up your mind!”
”d.a.m.n that talk. This is not your s.h.i.+p. You're supposed to be doing a job, you're not doing it, you d.a.m.n near created a rift in the government and I brought you here to patch the holes, the gaping gaping holes, in your knowledge of these people, holes, in your knowledge of these people, their their customs, customs, their their language, and language, and your your sensitivity to a vast, unmapped world of experience to which you're sensitivity to a vast, unmapped world of experience to which you're blind blind, Mr. Graham. I suggest you say thank you, put yourself back to rights, and don't expect atevi atevi to do the job you volunteered for. They weren't born to understand to do the job you volunteered for. They weren't born to understand you you, they're on their their planet, enjoying planet, enjoying their their lives quite nicely without your input, and I suggest if you approach atevi officials who owe lives quite nicely without your input, and I suggest if you approach atevi officials who owe their their precious scant time to their own people, you do so politely, appreciate their efforts to understand you, they choose to make such efforts, or I'll see you out of here.” precious scant time to their own people, you do so politely, appreciate their efforts to understand you, they choose to make such efforts, or I'll see you out of here.”
”Thank you,” Jase said coldly.
”Thank you for waiting to blow up.”
”Don't push me. Don't Don't push me. You need my good will.” push me. You need my good will.”
”Do I? You could have an accident. They'd send me another.”
There was a small, shocked silence. Then: ”You're an atevi official. Is that the way you think of yourself?”
”You don't question me, mister. When it comes to relations with with the atevi, I the atevi, I am am sir, to you, and you do as you're told. You and your rules-following. This is the time for it, this is the time in your whole life you'd sir, to you, and you do as you're told. You and your rules-following. This is the time for it, this is the time in your whole life you'd better better follow the d.a.m.n rules, and follow the d.a.m.n rules, and now now you want to do things your own way! What do I need to diagram for you? Where did you get the notion you want to do things your own way! What do I need to diagram for you? Where did you get the notion you you know what in h.e.l.l's going on? Or did I miss a revelation from G.o.d?” know what in h.e.l.l's going on? Or did I miss a revelation from G.o.d?”
A long, long silence, this time. Jase didn't look him in the eye. He stared at the floor, or at dust on his clothing, which he brushed off, at the light from the window, at anything in the world but him.
”I think we should go back to Shejidan,” Jase said to the window. ”This isn't going to help.”
”Well, it's not quite convenient at the moment to go back. You asked for this, and you've got it. So be grateful.”
”The h.e.l.l! You've lied to me.”
”In what particular?”
A silence. A silence that went on and on while Jase stared off into nowhere and fought for composure.
There was a small rap at the door.
”Nadi?” Bren asked, wis.h.i.+ng the interruption had had better timing, to prevent the incident in the first place. He shouldn't have hit Jase. It hadn't helped. The man had lost his father. He was on a hair-trigger as it was. He'd chosen this particular time to bear down on the language, probably because because of his father's death; and now he didn't know where he was: he was temporarily outside rational expression. of his father's death; and now he didn't know where he was: he was temporarily outside rational expression.
The door opened.
”Is there a difficulty, nadiin?” Banichi asked - Banichi, who was lodged next door, and, if there was anyone besides Ilisidi's chief of security, Cenedi, who was likely to have heard the entire episode, he'd about bet Banichi had the equipment in his baggage and would use it.
”No,” he said. ”Thank you, Banichi-ji. Is everyone settled? What's our schedule?”
”A light dinner at sunset. An early start, at sunrise.”
”We'll be ready. Thank you, Banichi-ji.”
”Nadi.” The door closed.
”He heard us,” Bren said quietly.
”I thought they took orders from you you,” Jase said in a surly tone.
”No. They don't. One of a great many things you don't know, isn't it?”
Another small silence.
”You need need to know, Jase. You'd better learn. I'm trying to help you, dammit.” to know, Jase. You'd better learn. I'm trying to help you, dammit.”
”I'm sorry,” Jase said then. ”I'm just -”
Jase didn't finish it. Neither did he. He waited.
”I am sorry,” Jase repeated, in Ragi. ”Nadi, I was overturned.”
”Upset,” he said automatically and bit his lip. ”Overturned, too, with reason. Jasi-ji. I know that. Can we recover our common sense?”