Part 6 (1/2)

It was training. He was always professional, always rational, and when good reasons made him want to get up, drag Jase out of the chair and pound Jase's head against the wall, he didn't. This was, he reminded himself, a man capable of gentle humor and lightning wit, though neither was in evidence tonight.

”I'm telling you,” Jase said, ”I don't know if I can take it. I don't know that any more, Bren.”

”And you know that it's not only you in danger if you cave in. So you won't. That's all. You won't.”

”I can't exist here and not talk to human beings except on a radio!”

That stung. That really rather stung, right in the area of his own self-doubts. Bren sat there quite still and told himself there was nothing emotionally significant to him in Jase's unthought remark.

But to the diplomat, it was significant information regarding Jase's view of him.

And being the diplomat, he didn't bring that slip to Jase's attention. Pointing out that Jase might have a bias against the natives, including humans on Mospheira, was an egg which, the atevi proverb had it, once cracked, had to be eaten.

And, in truth, it was possible he himself didn't wholly trust the Pilots' Guild, the old human distinction between crew and pa.s.sengers on the s.h.i.+p. The crew had once maintained the pa.s.sengers didn't have a vote, until the descendants of the crew needed the descendants of the pa.s.sengers for dangerous and vital work.

There was a lot of history between the long-ago pa.s.sengers and the crew; and a lot at stake for the s.h.i.+p in that interface. The Pilots' Guild had never wanted the Landing, and had given in on the issue only grudgingly and in the confidence the project would have no support from the station management. The s.h.i.+p had surely expected to return to a s.p.a.cefaring civilization with a well-maintained station, maybe with the original landing party dead; but not what they'd met - no station presence, no launch capacity, and a thriving planetary colony with very touchy relations with the native atevi.

”I understand your frustration,” he said finally, and maybe Jase never realized his slip, but d.a.m.n sure if Jase were taking the tests to enter the Foreign Studies program over on Mospheira, he'd have washed out, right there, first for making the slip, and then for not realizing it.

Though, again, maybe Jase did realize. Once you learned, atevi-style, to disconnect your face from your thoughts, you grew harder and harder to track in human terms.

And old friends in the human world grew harder and harder to keep.

”I know,” Jase said. ”I know that you do, Bren. But -”

Jase left that statement unfinished.

”You may never be be what I am,” Bren said. ”I say that with no arrogance at all. You may not want to be. But your way to s.p.a.ce has to go through atevi construction workers, to whom the paidhiin must be polite and infallibly encouraging, and it has to go through Tabini-aiji, to whom the paidhiin must be useful, and we can never, ever forget either fact.” what I am,” Bren said. ”I say that with no arrogance at all. You may not want to be. But your way to s.p.a.ce has to go through atevi construction workers, to whom the paidhiin must be polite and infallibly encouraging, and it has to go through Tabini-aiji, to whom the paidhiin must be useful, and we can never, ever forget either fact.”

”I try. G.o.d, I'm trying.”

”I know you are.”

”Bren - Bren, tell me the truth. Tell me the honest truth. When that s.p.a.cecraft goes up, am I really going to go with it?”

What in h.e.l.l brought that on? he asked himself. ”Who said otherwise?” he asked.

”I just want to hear it.”

”There'll be test flights. But when it's proven safe, you'll go.”

”Dependent on the aiji's permission, of course.”

”He'll let you go.”

”How do I know that?”

”Well, outside of the fact he said so - which is considerable a.s.surance - he's investing quite a lot in your education. This place. The training. Why shouldn't he want you on the job translating to the s.h.i.+p?”

”I might be a hostage.”

”It's not the aiji's style. It wouldn't be dignified.”

”He did with Hanks.”

”Say he knows the Mospheiran government. It's different different. He chose not to shoot her.”

”I don't see the difference. What about when he wants something from my my people?” people?”

”Have you had a hint he does?”

r- - ”Don't be naive, Bren.”

”Whatever brought this this up?” up?”

”I just want to know there's going to be an end to this!”

”It doesn't seem to me you're being reasonable. Why do you think he wouldn't let you go?”

”Look - I want to get out of this apartment. Who do you have to ask?”

Maybe Jase wouldn't have washed out of the program. The paidhi, experienced in diplomacy, nearly fell into that little pitfall.

”I can take you wherever I like.”

”Then why not not on this last trip? Why not on the next?” on this last trip? Why not on the next?”

Because it wasn't that simple. But Jase wasn't in a reasoning mood. ”You go nowhere until you learn the verb forms.” That set it at some distance. ”And until you don't make statements as rash as that you just made about our hosts.”

”The h.e.l.l with the verb forms!”

First the disorientation, then the anger. He'd been there, too. At least Jase wasn't fool enough to d.a.m.n Tabini. ”You can die of old age on this planet if we mistranslate a design spec and the program fails. You could die sooner if you don't understand culturally where you're likely to find security wires. You can die if your insults to the aiji disturb the peace of this country. Or you can sit idle and become a ward of the state while I do your work. These are serious choices. It is not not 'to h.e.l.l with the verb forms.' Your choices otherwise are all unpalatable.” 'to h.e.l.l with the verb forms.' Your choices otherwise are all unpalatable.”

He'd made Jase mad. Real mad. But Jase didn't get up from his chair and stalk from the room as he'd done once last autumn.

”You do it even in human language,” Jase said, ”don't you?”

”What?”

”Nadi,” Jase said in measured tones, in Ragi, and with no expression whatever, ”one understands my options to be balanced with a felicitous fifth choice.”

”That being?”

”The one you wish: my compliance, nadi.”

He had had posed it in a foursome, infelicitous four, when three, the human cultural choice, was felicitous. And Jase had at least posed it in a foursome, infelicitous four, when three, the human cultural choice, was felicitous. And Jase had at least felt felt it. ”Good. Very good. You're catching on.” it. ”Good. Very good. You're catching on.”

”Nand' Saidin has a.s.signed a servant to a.s.sist me. And I have worked, nadi. I work very long hours because I hope for a release from this confinement and a s.e.xual a.s.signation with my job.”

He didn't laugh. He didn't let his face twitch. ”An opportunity.”