Part 19 (1/2)

”It's quite all right, Sir, don't worry.” Mike's voice was soothing. ”I won't say a word. I just thought ”

”Say nothing, nothing. I don't want to see him.”

”But what if he should go, he's talking about it, Sir?”

For a moment the old man looked startled, then with a return of his old, truculent manner, he exclaimed, ”Then let him go. Let him go. There's n.o.body stopping him.” Mr. Lord now waved his hand as if in dismissal.

”Goodbye, Sir.” Mike turned and made for the door, but before he opened it, Mr. Lord's voice stopped him, ”Shaughnessy ! ” Mike turned again towards the bed.

”About the farm, and your work. The accounts, I mean. The buying and selling, I've found it too much-too much. You'll have to take that on.” The pale blue eyes peered at Mike across the distance, and he demanded, ”All right?”

On a great sigh of relief that Mike could hardly suppress, he nodded his head once, and said firmly, ”All right, Sir.” And without another word he went out, down the stairs, across the hall, through the kitchen-with a nod to Ben, and out on to the hill almost as quickly as Mary Ann had done a short time earlier. Below him the farm lay bathed in suns.h.i.+ne. The accounts-the buying and selling. He was manager now without a doubt. He had not, until this moment, realized just how fearful he had been of losing this job, the job on which he was merely a probationer, and now, with the few words, the old man had pa.s.sed the management, the complete management, to him. Even if he acknowledged Tony to be his grandson that would make no difference-the old man was always as good as his word, give him his due. His shoulders back, he marched down the hill, across the yard and up to his house, and going into the kitchen he went straight to Lizzie and to her astonishment grabbed her with his one arm and kissed her on the lips. So fierce was the kiss, yet so full of relief, that Lizzie, without a word, began to cry. Whatever had happened, everything was all right with her man.

Three weeks had pa.s.sed since her da had gone to see Mr. Lord, and everything was lovely, or nearly so. Anyway, joy of joys, the farm was her da's, or as nearly so as made no odds. Her da now did all the books, he sat in the office at nights, and he went to the market and sold the cows, and if anybody came to the farm on any business whatever it was to see Mr. ShaughnessyMr. Shaughnessy, Sir. Yes, that's how they addressed her da now, Mr. Shaughnessy, Sir. And joy on top of joy, she wasn't going back to Jarrow school. That humiliation had been lifted from her life the day after her da's visit to Mr. Lord, for her da had picked her up in his arm and pushed her on to his shoulder and galloped her round the kitchen, then had set her on the table and said, ”You're going to a good school, me girl. Do you hear that?” He had pushed his finger into her chest. ”And it's me that's sending you there. Do you hear that?” She had wanted to jump and yell her joy, but her ma had gone into the scullery, and she saw that she was crying. So now, in a very short time, she'd be going to this posh school. But she'd travel home every night. She had been to see it only last week, it had been closed for the holidays but had, nevertheless, been very impressive. She had told Mr. Lord all about it as he sat before the big window in his drawing-room, smothered up with rugs.

Mr. Lord was a lot better, but he was still very weak. She had tried to make him laugh, but she hadn't succeeded. Each day, as he had commanded her, she gave him an account of the doings of Tony, and she saw that all she said was to Tony's merit. But even this didn't make him ask to see Tony. She had never said to him, ”Why don't you let him come in?” for, after his visit, ' her da had taken her aside and warned her to keep off the subject of Tony when with Mr. Lord. ”Least said, soonest mended,” / he had said. ””The old man will make his decisions in his own ' time. So mind, be careful what you say and don't mention his name.” She hadn't told him that Tony was the only thing she talked about, and the only thing Mr. Lord wanted her to talk about; but even so she had been wise enough to refrain from saying, ”Why don't you let him in?” But now things had come a cropper. Tony was saying he was going away. He had said it only that morning. She had heard her da arguing with him in the scullery, and saying, ”Now, hold your horses. I'm telling you I know what I'm talking about.” But Tony had said, ”It's no use, Mike, I'm going before he gets on his feet and starts playing cat and mouse with me. I couldn't stand that. If he wanted to see me, he would have made a move before now.”

This news had put a blight on Mary Ann's day. She knew that Mr. Lord would find it nearly impossible to send for Tony, but she also knew that he would be very sorry if Tony went away. Moreover, she was only too well aware that Tony would on no account present himself to the old man without being asked. She liked Tony. Last night she had put a question to her mother, as she tucked her up in bed. She had said, ”Ma. How old must I be before I can have a lad?” Her ma had burst out laughing, then playfully smacked her bottom and said, ”A good many years yet, me girl. Sixteen you'll have to be.”

”Sixteen!” She had sat up in bed, all her shyness over asking the question gone, as she explained, ”But Sarah Flannagan's got one . . . two!” Her mother had made a long face, then exclaimed, ”Oh, has she, indeed! So that's what's put it into your head.” She had been strong in her denials, saying that she didn't mind Sarah Flannagan having a lad, but anyway she couldn't understand what any lad could see in Sarah Flannagan. Yet on the other hand, if Sarah Flannagan had a lad, why couldn't she? Her mother had smacked her bottom again and said, ”Sarah Flannagan's a good deal older than you.”

”Sixteen,” she had said from the door, nodding her head; then added, with a laugh, ”Fifteen, if you grow up quickly.”

Fifteen, and she was just turned nine ! ... How old was Tony ? Nineteen. He was a man, yet her da always talked of him as if he was a lad. And she thought of him as a lad. But when she was nineteen Tony would be twenty-nine. Would she know Tony when she was nineteen? Her quick mind told her she wouldn't if he once left the farm. Once gone, Tony would go out of her life, and out of Mr. Lord's life, and as much as she didn't want him to go out of her life it was much more necessary, she knew, that he should not go out of Mr. Lord's life. Mr. Lord needed him.

She reached the back door, pa.s.sed through the kitchen, saying ”h.e.l.lo,” to Mrs. Quigley, who was now helping out, then on through the hall and into the drawing-room. She loved the drawing-room. It was so beautiful, it almost took her breath away. Mr. Lord was by the window, but not wrapped up so much this morning. He was pus.h.i.+ng at Ben's wavering hands, and crying, ”Give over, man ! You're like an old hen. You and she are a good pair.”

Mary Ann knew he was referring to the nurse, and when she said, ”h.e.l.lo,” both Ben and he answered her. ”h.e.l.lo,” they said. Then Mr. Lord, turning on the faithful Ben as if he hated the sight of him, cried, ”Go on, get out and leave me alone.”

Quite unruffled, Ben finished his patting and straightening before leaving his master, and Mary Ann, taking her usual seat on a padded footstool, remarked, ”It's a lovely morning,”

”I don't want to hear about the morning. I can see it.”

He was in a bad temper. Her da said it was a good sign when he was in a bad temper; it showed he was getting better. ”Well, what have you got to say?” ”Nothing.” Mary Ann looked up at him. His fierce gaze did not disturb her. Her mind was working rapidly, telling her something had to be done. She would likely, she knew, catch it from her da and ma if she carried out the hazy plan in her mind. Moreover, if Mr. Lord started to yell and got excited and brought on another heart attack she would get all the blame. But as her da said, the worse his temper the better he was. So, looking at him now, she deduced that he must be feeling pretty well this morning.

”What do you mean-nothing!”

She faced him squarely and moved her head from side to side just a little Bit cheekily, as she said, ”Well, you want to hear ^,, about Tony and there's nothing more to tell you, because he's going away.” She saw the hand resting on the arm of the chair suddenly contract, until the knuckles became s.h.i.+ny.

”When?”

She did not really know when-it could be the end of the week or next week-but she felt that the greater

the urgency she could give to this matter the greater its success, so she said, flatly, ”The day.”

”Today?”

She watched his face twitch, then his hands, then his feet. She watched them kick off the rug that Ben

had placed around him, and with an effort and the aid of his stick, draw himself to his feet, then with

faltering steps walk towards the open window. He stood there for so long and so quietly that she was forced to cough to remind him that she was still there. The cough apparently did the trick, for he returned to his seat, but much to her surprise did not question her further. She wanted to say to him, ”Will I fetch him?” but she knew what his answer would be. It would be a bark of ”No!”

Some time elapsed before he spoke, and then it was not to her but to himself that he said, ”Let him go.”

Mary Ann rose and stood looking at him. Then she said softly, ”I'm going. Bye-bye.”

204.

4.

He brought his eyes to her, opened his mouth to speak, then shook his head at himself and said briefly, ”Goodbye.”

She went out quietly and closed the door. In the hall she stood biting at her thumb nail. He would never ask anybody to bring Tony here, and if Tony did not leave the farm and Mr. Lord met him when he got about they would surely fight like cat and dog, and then Tony would go off in a huff. It seemed as broad as it was long. Somehow, she felt that Tony had to come into this house-he had to meet Mr. Lord when he was bad, but not too bad that he would collapse, yet not too strong that he would say, ”Go!” and mean it.

Suddenly she gave a little skip that was soundless on the thick carpet. She knew what she would do. She would likely get wrong off everybody, but she was always getting wrong, so once more wouldn't make any difference, would it? Two things only were in her mind now. One was that Mr. Lord was very unhappy and she wanted above all things to make him happy; the other was, she didn't want Tony to leave the farm. Outside the house she began to run, but cautioned herself when she reached the cinder track. She'd had enough of running on that to last her a lifetime, her hands and knees still had scars on them. In the farmyard she met Len leading the bull with a pole and made hastily for cover in one of the byres, from where she shouted, ”Len, where's Tony?”

”Top field,” replied Len, with a backward movement of his head.

When the bull was well past she ran across the yard, through a gate and over a field, and from there, in the far distance, she saw Tony. Long before reaching him she drew his attention with her voice and waving arms, and he came towards the field gate to meet her.

Her running stood her in good stead, for her gasping was the real thing as she brought out, ”You're to come. . . . You're to come, he wants you.”

She saw his face lose its colour, and he asked, ”Who?”

She knew well enough that he knew to whom she was referring -he knew she wouldn't have run like that if her da had wanted him.

”Mr. Lord, of course.”

She rested her hands on the bar of the gate and let her small chest heave like a miniature sea as she looked up at him. She could not see how the name actually affected him, for his lids covered his eyes as if he had dropped asleep while standing, and so she put her head through the bars of the gate and demanded, ”What's up with you, didn't you hear me?”

”What did he say?”