Part 9 (1/2)
”Doctor Meyer Isaacson, Mrs. Chepstow.”
The Doctor scarcely knew whether he had expected Mrs. Chepstow to recognize him, or whether he had antic.i.p.ated what actually happened--her slight bow and murmured ”I'm delighted to meet you.” But he did know that he was not really surprised at her treatment of him as an entire stranger. And he was glad that he had said nothing to Armine of her visit to Cleveland Square.
”Aren't you going to sit down and talk to me for a little?” Mrs.
Chepstow said. ”I'm all alone and horribly dull.”
”May we?”
Armine drew up a chair.
”Sit on my other side, Doctor Isaacson. I've heard a great deal about you. You've made perfect cures of most of my enemies.”
There was not the least trace of consciousness in her manner, not the faintest suspicion of embarra.s.sment in her look, and, as he sat down, the Doctor found himself admiring the delicate perfection of her deceit, as he had sometimes admired a subtle _nuance_ in the performance of some great French actress.
”You ought to hate me then,” he said.
”Why? If I don't hate them?”
”Don't you hate your enemies?” asked Armine.
”No; that's a weakness in me. I never could and never shall. Something silly inside of me invariably finds excuses for people, whatever they are or do. I'm always saying to myself, 'They don't understand. If they really knew all the circ.u.mstances, they wouldn't hate me. Perhaps they'd even pity me.' Absurd! A mistake! I know that. Such feelings stand in the way of success, because they prevent one striking out in one's own defence. And if one doesn't strike out for oneself, n.o.body will strike out for one.”
”I don't think that's quite true,” Armine said.
”Oh, yes, it is. If you're pugnacious, people think you're plucky, and they're ready to stand up for you. Whereas, if you forgive easily, you're not easily forgiven.”
”If that is so,” Armine said, ”why don't you change your tactics?”
As he said this, he glanced at Isaacson, and the Doctor understood that he was seeking to display to his friend what he believed to be this woman's character.
”Simply because I can't. I am what I am. I can't change myself, and I can't act in defiance of the little interior voice. I often try to, for I don't pretend in the least to be virtuous; but I have to give in. I know it's weakness. I know the world would laugh at it. But--_que voulez-vous?_--some of us are the slaves of our souls.”
The last sentence seemed almost to be blurted out, so honestly was it said. But instantly, as if regretting a sincere indiscretion, she added:
”Doctor Isaacson, what an idiot you must think me!”
”Why, Mrs. Chepstow?”
”For saying that. You, of course, think we are the slaves of our bodies.”
”I certainly do not think you an idiot,” he could not help saying, with significance.
”Isaacson is not an ordinary doctor,” said Armine. ”You needn't be afraid of him.”
”I don't think I'm afraid of anybody, but one doesn't want to make oneself absurd. And I believe I often am absurd in rating the body too low. What a conversation!” she added, smiling. ”But, as I was all alone in the crowd, I was thinking of all sorts of things. A crowd makes one think tremendously, if one is quite alone. It stimulates the brain, I suppose. So I was thinking a lot of rubbish over my solitary meal.”
She looked at the two men apologetically.
”_La femme pense_,” she said, and she shrugged her shoulders.