Part 85 (1/2)
”What! would it then be no joy to know that your line did not close with yourself--that your child might--”
”Cease, madam, cease--it matters not to a man nor to a race when it perish, so that it perish at last with honour. Who would have either himself or his lineage live on into a day when the escutcheon is blotted and the name disgraced? No; if that be Matilda's child, tell me, and I will bear, as man may do, the last calamity which the will of Heaven may inflict. If, as I have all reason to think, the tale be an imposture, speak and give me the sole comfort to which I would cling amidst the ruin of all other hopes.”
”Verily,” said Arabella, with a kind of musing wonder in the tone of her softened voice; ”verily, has a man's heart the same throb and fibre as a woman's? Had I a child like that blue-eyed wanderer with the frail form needing protection, and the brave spirit that enn.o.bles softness, what would be my pride! my bliss! Talk of shame--disgrace! Fie--fie--the more the evil of others darkened one so innocent, the more cause to love and shelter her. But--I--am childless! Shall I tell you that the offence which lies heaviest on my conscience has been my cruelty to that girl?
She was given an infant to my care. I saw in her the daughter of that false, false, mean, deceiving friend, who had taken my confidence, and bought, with her supposed heritage, the man sworn by all oaths to me. I saw in her, too, your descendant, your rightful heiress. I rejoiced in a revenge on your daughter and yourself. Think not I would have foisted her on your notice! No. I would have kept her without culture, without consciousness of a higher lot; and when I gave her up to her grandsire, the convict, it was a triumph to think that Matilda's child would be an outcast. Terrible thought! but I was mad then. But that poor convict whom you, in your worldly arrogance, so loftily despise--he took to his breast what was flung away as a worthless weed. And if the flower keep the promise of the bud, never flower so fair bloomed from your vaunted stem! And yet you would bless me if I said, 'Pa.s.s on, childless man; she is nothing to you!'”
”Madam, let us not argue. As you yourself justly imply, man's heart and woman's must each know throbs that never are, and never should be, familiar to the other. I repeat my question, and again I implore your answer.”
”I cannot answer for certain; and I am fearful of answering at all, lest on a point so important I should mislead you. Matilda's child? Jasper affirmed it to me. His father believed him--I believed him. I never had the shadow of a doubt till--”
”Till what? For Heaven's sake speak.”
”Till about five years ago, or somewhat more, I saw a letter from Gabrielle Desmarets, and--”
”Ah! which made you suspect, as I do, that the child is Gabrielle Desmaret's daughter.”
Arabella reared her crest as a serpent before it strikes. ”Gabrielle's daughter! You think so. Her child that I sheltered! Her child for whom I have just pleaded to you! Hers!” She suddenly became silent. Evidently that idea had never before struck her; evidently it now shocked her; evidently something was pa.s.sing through her mind which did not allow that idea to be dismissed. As Darrell was about to address her, she exclaimed abruptly: ”No! say no more now. You may hear from me again should I learn what may decide at least this doubt one way or the other.
Farewell, sir.”
”Not yet. Permit me to remind you that you have saved the life of a man whose wealth is immense.”
”Mr. Darrell, my wealth in relation to my wants is perhaps immense as yours, for I do not spend what I possess.”
”But this unhappy outlaw, whom you would save from himself, can henceforth be to you but a burthen and a charge. After what has pa.s.sed to-night, I do tremble to think that penury may whisper other houses to rob, other lives to menace. Let me, then, place at your disposal, to be employed in such mode as you deem the best, a sum that may suffice to secure an object which we have in common.”
”No, Mr. Darrell,” said Arabella, fiercely; ”whatever he be, never with my consent shall Jasper Losely be beholden to you for alms. If money can save him from shame and a dreadful death, that money shall be mine. I have said it. And, hark you, Mr. Darrell, what is repentance without atonement? I say not that I repent; but I do know that I seek to atone.”
The iron-grey robe fluttered an instant, and then vanished from the room.
When Alban Morley returned to the library, he saw Darrell at the farther corner of the room, on his knees. Well might Guy Darrell thank Heaven for the mercies vouchsafed to him that night. Life preserved? Is that all? Might life yet be bettered and gladdened? Was there aught in the grim woman's words that might bequeath thoughts which reflection would ripen into influences over action?--aught that might suggest the cases in which, not ign.o.bly, Pity might subjugate Scorn? In the royal abode of that Soul, does Pride only fortify Honour?--is it but the mild king, not the imperial despot? Would it blind, as its rival, the Reason? Would it chain, as a rebel, the Heart? Would it man the dominions, that might be serene, by the treasures it wastes-by the wars it provokes?
Self-knowledge! self-knowledge! From Heaven, indeed, descends the precept, ”KNOW THYSELF.” That truth was told to us by the old heathen oracle. But what old heathen oracle has told us how to know?
CHAPTER IV.
THE MAN-EATER HUMILIATED. HE ENCOUNTERS AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE IN A TRAVELLER, WHO, LIKE SHAKESPEARE'S JAQUES, IS ”A MELANCHOLY FELLOW”; WHO ALSO, LIKE JAQUES, HATH ”GREAT REASON TO BE BAD”; AND WHO, STILL LIKE JAQUES, IS ”FULL OF MATTER.”
Jasper Losely rode slowly on through the clear frosty night; not back to the country town which he had left on his hateful errand, nor into the broad road to London. With a strange desire to avoid the haunts of men, he selected--at each choice of way in the many paths branching right and left, between waste and woodland--the lane that seemed the narrowest and the dimmest. It was not remorse that gnawed him, neither was it mere mercenary disappointment, nor even the pang of baffled vengeance--it was the profound humiliation of diseased self-love--the conviction that, with all his brute power, he had been powerless in the very time and scene in which he had pictured to himself so complete a triumph. Even the quiet with which he had escaped was a mortifying recollection.
Capture itself would have been preferable, if capture had been preceded by brawl and strife--the exhibition of his hardihood and prowess.
Gloomily bending over his horse's neck, he cursed himself as fool and coward. What would he have had!--a new crime on his soul? Perhaps he would have answered, ”Anything rather than this humiliating failure.” He did not rack his brains with conjecturing if Cutts had betrayed him, or by what other mode a.s.sistance had been sent in such time of need to Darrell. Nor did he feel that hunger for vengeance, whether on Darrell or on his accomplice (should that accomplice have played the traitor), which might have been expected from his characteristic ferocity. On the contrary, the thought of violence and its excitements had in it a sickness as of shame. Darrell at that hour might have ridden by him scathless. Cutts might have jeered and said, ”I blabbed your secret, and sent the aid that foiled it”; and Losely would have continued to hang his head, nor lifted the herculean hand that lay nerveless on the horse's mane. Is it not commonly so in all reaction from excitements in which self-love has been keenly galled? Does not vanity enter into the l.u.s.t of crime as into the desire of fame?
At sunrise Losely found himself on the high-road into which a labyrinth of lanes had led him, and opposite to a milestone, by which he learned that he had been long turning his back on the metropolis, and that he was about ten miles distant from the provincial city of Ouzelford. By this time his horse was knocked up, and his own chronic pains began to make themselves acutely felt; so that, when, a little farther on, he came to a wayside inn, he was glad to halt; and after a strong drain, which had the effect of an opiate, he betook himself to bed, and slept till the noon was far advanced.
When Losely came down-stairs, the common room of the inn was occupied by a meeting of the trustees of the highroads; and, on demanding breakfast, he was shown into a small sanded parlour adjoining the kitchen. Two other occupants--a man and a woman--were there already, seated at a table by the fireside, over a pint of half-and-half. Losely, warming himself at the hearth, scarcely noticed these humble revellers by a glance. And they, after a displeased stare at the stalwart frame which obscured the cheering glow they had hitherto monopolised, resumed a muttered conversation; of which, as well as of the vile modic.u.m that refreshed their lips, the man took the lion's share. Shabbily forlorn were that man's habiliments--turned and re-turned, patched, darned, weather-stained, grease-stained--but still retaining that kind of mouldy, grandiose, b.a.s.t.a.r.d gentility, which implies that the wearer has known better days; and, in the downward progress of fortunes when they once fall, may probably know still worse.
The woman was some years older than her companion, and still more forlornly shabby. Her garments seemed literally composed of particles of dust glued together, while her face might have insured her condemnation as a witch before any honest jury in the reign of King James the First.
His breakfast, and the brandy-bottle that flanked the loaf, were now placed before Losely; and, as distastefully he forced himself to eat, his eye once more glanced towards, and this time rested on, the shabby man, in the sort of interest with which one knave out of elbows regards another. As Jasper thus looked, gradually there stole on him a reminiscence of those coa.r.s.e large features--that rusty disreputable wig. The recognition, however, was not mutual; and presently, after a whisper interchanged between the man and the woman, the latter rose, and approaching Losely, dropped a curtsey, and said, in a weird, under voice: ”Stranger! luck's in store for you. Tell your fortune!” As she spoke, from some dust-hole in her garments she produced a pack of cards, on whose half-obliterated faces seemed incrusted the dirt of ages.