Part 59 (2/2)

[Received by a mail order house.]

Dear Sir: The peeaney you s.h.i.+pped me sum time ago come duly recd. My, is we souposed to pay the frate charge onit. When we bot this peeanney you claimed to lie it down to me. I want you two send me quick as h.e.l.l a receet for 2.29 for same. Besyds the kees on sum dont work a tall. Is them ivory finger boards. Are dealer here sed we got beet on this deel.

Wer is the thing you seet on? Is it eeen that box on the platform at the depo? That luks two small for it. Yours truely, etc.

P. S.--Wen you rite tel me how two tune it.

Fireplace heating, says Dr. Evans, is the most wasteful. True. And the most agreeable. So many things that make life endurable in this vale of tears are wasteful.

”Since her tour of the Pacific Coast,” declares a Berkeley bulletin, ”Miss Case has made strident advances in her art.” The lady, it appears, sings.

THE SECOND POST.

[Received by a Birmingham concern.]

Dear Sirs and Gents: Would say this lady i got the Range for had applied for a divorce and was to marrey me but she has taken her soldier husband back again and changed her notion so i don't think it right to pay for a range for the other man. let him pay it out if she will live up to her bargin i will pay and could have paid at the time but was afraid this would happen as it has she has never rote or communicated with me since i left there dont think it right or justice that i pay for it and perhaps never see her again had they of rote to me i would have kept up the payments can first see the parties what they expect to do. Very Respect, etc.

You have observed the skinned-rabbit hair-cut. The barber achieves a gruesome effect by running the clippers half-way up the skull. But did you know that it originated in Columbus, O.? ”Yes, sir,” said the Columbus barber to Col. Drury Underwood, ”that started here. We call it the two-piece haircut.”

CUPID CARRIES A CARD.

H. H. Lessner, of Alton, Ill., known as ”Alton's Marrying Justice of the Peace,” carries a union label on his stationery.

”I am reading Marcus Aurelius now,” confides Mme. Galli-Curci to an interviewer. ”One can never really grow tired of it, can one?” Well, if you ask us, one can.

”Are we going crazy?”--Senator Smoot.

”Wanted, man or woman to give me a few lessons on ouija board.”--Denver Post ad.

So it seems.

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