Part 52 (1/2)

”And as I am in no sense a lecturer...”--Mr. Chesterton.

Seemingly the knowledge of one's limitations as a public entertainer does not preclude one from accepting a fee five or ten times larger than one would receive in London. We are languidly curieux de savoir how far the American equivalent would get in the English capital.

You cannot ”make Chicago literary” by moving the magazine market to that city. Authors lay the scenes of their stories in New York rather than in Chicago, because readers prefer to have the scene New York, just as English readers prefer London to Manchester or Liverpool. If a story is unusually interesting it is of no consequence where the scene is laid, but most stories are only so-so and have to borrow interest from geography.

THANKS TO MISS MONROE'S MAGAZINE.

Only a little while ago The pallid poet had no show-- No gallery that he could use To hang the product of his muse.

But now his sketches deck the walls Of many hospitable halls, And juries solemnly debate The merits of the candidate.

TRADE CLa.s.sICS.

Every trade has at least one cla.s.sic. One in the newspaper trade concerns the reporter who was sent to do a wedding, and returned to say that there was no story, as the bridegroom failed to show up. Will a few other trades acquaint us with their cla.s.sics? It should make an interesting collection.

Sir: The cla.s.sic of the teaching trade: A school teacher saw a man on the car whose face was vaguely familiar. ”I beg your pardon,” she said, ”but aren't you the father of two of my children?”

S. B.

Sir: The son of his father on a certain occasion, when the paper was overset, objected to adding two pages, but in a moment of economical inspiration agreed to permit one extra page.

C. D.

Sir: Don't forget the cla.s.sic of dry stories. ”An Irishman and a Scotchman stood before a bar--and the Irishman didn't have any money.”

L. A. H.

To continue, the Scotchman said: ”Well, Pat, what are we going to have to-day? Rain or snow?”

Sir: ”If you can't read, ask the grocer.” But I heard it differently. An Englishman and an American read the sign. The American laughed. The Englishman did not see the humor of it. The American asked him to read it again; whereupon the Englishman laughed and said: ”Oh, yes; the grocer might be out.”

3-Star.

You may know the trade cla.s.sic about the exchange editor. The new owner of the newspaper asked who that man was in the corner. ”The exchange editor,” he was informed. ”Well, fire him,” said he. ”All he seems to do is sit there and read all day.”

Divers correspondents advise us that the trade cla.s.sics we have been printing are old stuff. Yes; that is the peculiar thing about a cla.s.sic.

Extraordinary, when you come to think of it.