Part 46 (1/2)

One is usually mistaken in such matters, but we visualize Mr. Imer Pett, general manager of the Bingham Mines, in Salt Lake City, as quite otherwise.

THE SECOND POST.

[Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]

Gentlemen: My wife wants me to suggest that you observe one of our Italian customs by remembering her with a bit of Christmas cheer. As she is the only wife I got I trust you will help me keep her.

Joe.

DENTAL FLOSS.

Sir: D. Seiver is a dentist on Kedzie avenue. If I were a complete contrib, I might head this, ”Now, this isn't going to hurt a bit,” but, as I am not, I merely proceed to nominate C. O. Soots, of North Salem, Ind., as chief chimney sweep to the Academy, and propose the Rev. Ed. V.

Belles of the First Presbyterian Church of Northville, Mich., to ring in the new for the members. As a subst.i.tute for Mr. D. Seiver, you might induce the nominating committee to accept Dr. J. Byron Ache, a dentist of Uniontown, Pa.

Ballysloughguttery.

The melancholy days have come For him who's naturally glum: But for the man whose liver's right These Autumn days are pure delight.

”Complains He Was Called s.e.xagenarian--Candidate Says Many Voters Thought It Had to Do With s.e.x.”--Boston Herald.

Flattered, but unappreciative.

Lady G.o.diva writes from Loz Onglaze: ”Have been having wonderful weather. Quite warm yesterday, the first of December. Riding around with just my fur cape on.”

Some people hold potatoes for higher prices, while others, like Scribner's Sons, hold sets of Henry James' novels at $130, an increase of $82 over the original price.

JUST ABOUT.

Sir: How long do you suppose the Snow Ball Laundry will last in Quinter, Kansas? The proprietor is G. W. Burns.

P. V. W.

In an almanack, which is printed once a year, or in a dictionary or encyclopedia, which is republished after ten or twenty years, you would expect to find fewer errors than in a daily newspaper; but apparently time has little to do with it. Consulting the Britannica's article on Anatole France, we were inexpressibly shocked to find therein the atrocities, ”L'Ile des Penguins” and ”Maurice Barres.”