Part 36 (1/2)

”Why not make room for daddy?” queries the editor of the Emporia Gazette, with a break in his voice. Daddy, we hardly need say, is the silently suffering member of the household who hasn't a large closet all to himself, with rows of, s.h.i.+ny hooks on which to hang his duds.

Ah, yes, why not make room for daddy? It is impossible to contemplate daddy's pathetic condition without bursting into tears. Votes for women?

Huh! Hooks for men!

”NATION-WIDE.”

How anybody can abide That punk expression, ”nation-wide”--

How one can view unhorrified That vile locution, nation-wide,

I cannot see. I almost died When first I spotted nation-wide.

On every hand, on every side, On every page, is nation-wide.

To everything it is applied; No matter what, it's nation-wide.

The daily paper's pet and pride: They simply dote on nation-wide.

It seems if each with t'other vied To make the most of nation-wide.

No doubt the proof-room Argus-eyed Approves the ”style” of nation-wide.

My colleagues fall for it, but I'd Be d.a.m.ned if I'd use nation-wide.

It gets my goat, and more beside, That phrase atrocious, nation-wide.

Abomination double-dyed, Away, outrageous ”nation-wide”!

Speaking of local color, B. Humphries Brown and Bonnie Blue were wedded in Indianapolis.

Married, in Evansville, Ind., Ellis Shears and Golden Lamb. Something might be added about wool-gathering.

Embarra.s.sed by the riches of modern literature at our elbow, we took refuge in Jane Austen, and re-read ”Mansfield Park,” marvelling again at its freshness. They who hold that Mark Twain was not a humorist, or that he was at best an incomplete humorist, have an argument in his lack of appreciation of Jane Austen.

One of the most delightful things about the author of ”Mansfield Park”