Part 27 (1/2)
”THE FRIEND OF THE PEOPLE.”
Old Amicus Pop Is the friend of the Wop, The friend of the c.h.i.n.k and the Harp, The friend of all nations And folk of all stations, The friend of the shark and the carp.
He sits in his chair With his feet on the table, And lists to the prayer Of Minerva and Mabel, Veritas, Pro Bono, Taxpayer, and the rest, Who wail on his shoulder and weep on his breast.
Old Amicus Pop Is the solace and prop Of all who are weary of life.
He straightens the tangles And jangles and wrangles That breed in this city of strife.
Whatever your ”beef,”
You may pour him an earful; Unbottle your grief Be it ever so tearful.
Oh, weep all you wish--he is there with the mop.
Bring all of your troubles to Amicus Pop.
When we think of the countless thousands who peruse this Cro'-nest of Criticism, a feeling of responsibility weighs heavily upon us, and almost spoils our day. Frezzample, one writes from St. Paul: ”We have twenty confirmed readers of the Line in this 'house.'” The quotation marks disturb us. Can it be a sanitarium?
Most of the trouble in this world is caused by people who do not know when they are well off. The Germans did not know when they were well off. Your cook, who left last week, as little apprehended her good fortune. Nor will the Filipinos be happy till they get it.
Those who stand in awe of persons with logical minds will be rea.s.sured by Henry Adams' pertinent reflection that the mind resorts to reason for want of training. His definition of philosophy is also rea.s.suring: ”Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.”
Among those who have guessed at the meaning of ”the freedom of the seas”
was Cowper:
”Without one friend, above all foes, Britannia gives the world repose.”
Maxwell Bodenheim has published a book of poems, and the critics allow that Max Boden's brays are bonnie.
IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR.
[From ”How to Avoid Influenza.”]
Avoid kissing, as this habit readily transmits influenza. If physician is available, it is best to consult him.