Part 8 (2/2)

Social nuances are indicated by a farmer not far from Chicago in his use of table coverings, as follows: For the family, oil cloth; for the school teacher, turkey red; for the piano tuner, white damask.

SHE SAT APART.

Sir: We were talking across the aisle. Presently the girl who sat alone leaned over and said: ”You and the lady take this seat. I'm not together.”

A. H. H. A.

THE G. P. P.

Sir: What is the gadder's pet peeve? Mine is to be aroused by the hotel maid who jiggles the doork.n.o.b at 8 a.m., when the little indicator shows the room is still locked from the inside. It happened to me to-day at the Blackhawk in Davenport.

W. S.

BEG YOUR PARDON.

W. S. writes, after a long session with his boss, that the recent announcement he was disturbed at 8 o'clock by the rattling of his hotel door was a typographical error committed in this office (sic), the hour as stated by him really having been 6.30 a.m.

The manager of the Hotel Pomeroy, Barbados, W. I., warns: ”No cigarettes or c.o.c.ktails served to married ladies without husband's consent.”

It is years since we read ”John Halifax, Gentleman,” but we must dust off the volume. The j.a.panese translation has a row of asterisks and the editor's explanation: ”At this point he asked her to marry him.”

Gadders have many grievances, and one of them is the small-town grapefruit. One traveler offers the stopper of a silver flask for an authentic instance of a grapefruit served without half of the tough interior thrown in for good measure.

If Jedge Landis has time to attend to another job, a great many people would like to see him take hold of the Senate and establish in it the confidence of the public. It would be a tougher job than baseball reorganization, but it is thought he could swing it.

YES?

You may fancy it is easy, When the world is fighting drunk, To compile a colyum wheezy With a lot of airy junk-- To maintain a mental quiet And a philosophic ca'm, And to give, amid the riot, Not a dam.

You may think it is no trick to Can the topic militaire, And determinedly stick to j.a.pe and jingle light as air-- To be pertly paragraphic And to jollity inclined, In an evenly seraphic State of mind.

When our anger justified is, And the nation's on the brink; When Herr Dernburg--durn his hide!--is To be chased across the drink; When the cabinet is meeting, And the ultimatums fly, And the tom-toms are a-beating A defy;

When it's raining gall and bitters-- You may think it is a pipe To erect a Tower of t.i.tters With a lot of lines o' type, To be whimsical and wheezy, Full of {quip and quirk and quiz.

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