Volume V Part 46 (1/2)
”What do you mean?”
”We will discuss the question another tiood; I should like to have it proved to me that a man can be a Jesuit and honest at the same time”
”There are exceptions to all rules”
My Pauline was a profound thinker, and strongly attached to her religion I should never have discovered that she possessed this merit if I had not slept with her I have known several women of the same stamp; if you wish to know the elevation of their souls, youthem When this is done, one enjoys their confidence, for they have no secrets for the happy victor This is the reason why the charh feeble sex loves the brave and despises the cowardly
Sometimes they appear to love cowards, but always for their physical beauty Women ah if they get caned
After the ht I had ever passed, I resolved not to leave al She did not leave me for a moment, save to hear mass on Sundays I shut my door to everybody, even to the doctor, for my sprain disappeared of itself I did not fail to inforh of my rapid cure; she had sent twice a day ever since the accident to learn hoas
Pauline went to her rooain till dinner-tiel Her face had caught the hues of the lily and the rose, and had an air of happiness I could not help ad
As we both wanted to have our portraits taken, I asked Martinelli to send me the best miniature-painter in London He sent a Jeho succeeded adave it to Pauline; and this was the only present she would accept froht myself all the richer if she had accepted all I had
We spent three weeks in a happy dreaain, and we tasted all the sweets of love together All day and all night ere together, our desires were satisfied only to be renee enjoyed the extremest bliss In a word, it is difficult to form a just idea of the state of two individuals who enjoy all the range of physical and ether, whose life is for the present without thought of the future; whose joys are mutual and continual; such, nevertheless, was the position of myself and my divine Pauline
Every day I discovered in her some fresh perfection which made me love her more; her nature was inexhaustible in its treasures, for her mental qualities even surpassed her physical beauties, and an excellent education had wonderfully increased the powers of her intelligence With all the beauty and grace of a woman she had that exalted character which is the lot of the best of an to flatter herself that the fatal letter would never come, and the count was little more than a dream of the past Sometimes she would say that she could not understand how a pretty face could exercise such a strong influence over us in spite of our reason
”I have found out too late,” she added, ”that chance alone can e, contracted for such physical reasons, happy”
The 1st of August was a fatal day for both of us Pauline received a letter from Lisbon, which summoned her ho the death of Madame d'Urfe Madame du Rumain told me that on the evidence of her maid the doctors had pronounced her death to be due to an overdose of the liquid she called ”The Panacea” She added that a will had been found which savoured of a lunatic asyluhter that should be born of her, declaring that she ith child I was to be the governor of the infant; this vexed -stock of Paris for a week at least Her daughter, the Comtesse de Chatelet, had taken possession of all her real estate and of her pocket-book, which contained, to reat shock for me, but the contents of the two letters Pauline had received was a greater blow One was froed her to return to Lisbon as soon as possible, and assured her that she should be put in possession of her property on her arrival, and would be at liberty to ht of all the world He sent her a cheque for twenty million reis I was not aware of the small value of the coin, and was in an ecstasy; but Pauline laughed, and said it only came to two thousand pounds, which was a sufficient sum, however, to allow her to travel in the style of a duchess The minister wanted her to come by sea, and all she had to do was to couese ae on a Portuguese frigate which happened to be riding in an English port Pauline would not hear of the voyage, or of applying to the ambassador, for she did not want anyone to think that she had been obliged to return She was angry with thethat he ht her to see reason on this point, telling her that it was a very thoughtful and delicate proceeding on the part of Oeiras, and that he had iven it to her
Pauline was rich, and she was a high-when she was in want, and she certainly never counted on h she may have felt sure that I would not abandon her I am sure she believed me to be very rich, and my conduct was certainly calculated to favour that idea
The day and even the night passed sadly The next day Pauline addressed me as follows:
”We et one another, for es me to become the wife of the count as soon as I arrive in Lisbon The first fancy of ain all its old force when I see you no longer, and I aoodhearted, honest, and pleasant young ether
”Now I have a favour to ask of you, which I arant
Promise me never to come to Lisbon without my permission I hope you will not seek to know my reasons; you would not, I am sure, come to trouble my peace, for if I sinned I should be unhappy, and you would not desire that for ether as man and wife, and noe are parted I shall fancy e”
I burst into tears, and pressing her to my breast promised I would do as she wished
Pauline wrote to her aunt and Oeiras that she would be in Lisbon in October, and that they should have further news of her when she reached Spain She had plenty of ed athe last week she spent with me I made her promise me to let Clairmont accompany her as far as Madrid She was to send me back my faithful servant when she reached the Spanish capital, but fate had decreed that I should see his face no more
The last few days were spent partly in sorrow and partly in delight We looked at each other without speaking, and spoke without knoe said We forgot to eat, and went to bed hoping that love and anguish would keep us awake, but our exhausted bodies fell into a heavy sleep, and oke we could only sigh and kiss again
Pauline allowed me to escort her as far as Calais, and we started on the 10th of August, only stopping at Dover to ee on the packet, and four hours afterwards we dise her hood had begun, begged me to sleep in another rooust, preceded by my poor Clairmont, and resolved only to travel by dayti with Pauline and ly striking; the tomen were of very sih their beauty was of a different kind Thus I fell asequally intelligent The fact that one had more talent and less prejudices than the other must have been an effect of their different educations Pauline had the fine pride of her nation, her ion wasShe was also a far more ardent mistress than Henriette I was successful with both of them because I was rich; if I had been a poor otten theotten in time, but when I recall them to my memory I find that Henriette made the profounder impression on me, no doubt because I enty-five when I knew her, while I was thirty-seven in London
The older I get the ret bitterly that I could not discover the secret of rerets! we an, helpless and devoid of sense
I went back to England the sae