Volume III Part 53 (2/2)
When dinner was over the chancellor bowed respectfully and went out
Soon after the abbot tookthe library, which contained a portrait of the Elector of Cologne in semi-ecclesiastical costuly likeness, and drew out ofhi likeness He looked at it with interest, and thought his highness had done well to be taken in the dress of a grand-ance of the snuff-box did no harm to the opinion the abbot had conceived of me As for the library, if I had been alone it would haveunder the size of folio, the newest books were a hundred years old, and the subject-y and controversy There were Bibles, commentators, the Fathers, works on canon law in German, volumes of annals, and Hoffman's dictionary
”I suppose your monks have private libraries of their own,” I said, ”which contain accounts of travels, with historical and scientific works”
”Not at all,” he replied; ”my monks are honest folk, who are content to do their duty, and to live in peace and sweet ignorance”
I do not knohat happened to e whi about it at the ed the abbot to take eneral confession of all my sins,” said I, ”that I may obtain the benefit of absolution, and receive the Holy Eucharist on the morrow”
He made no answer, but led the way to a pretty little roo me to kneel down said he was ready to hear me
I sat down before him and for three consecutive hours I narrated scandalous histories unnumerable, which, however, I told simply and not spicily, since I felt ascetically disposed and obliged myself to speak with a contrition I did not feel, for when I recountedthe rereeable
In spite of that, the serene or reverend abbot believed, at all events, in my attrition, for he told me that since by the appointed race, contrition would be perfected in ood abbot, and still race contrition is impossible
After he had pronounced the sacramental words which take away the sins of men, he advised me to retire to the chamber he had appointed for o to bed at an early hour, but he added that I could have supper if I was accustoht co, and with that we parted
I obeyed with a docility which has puzzledof it I was left alone in a room which I did not even examine, and there I pondered over the idea which had co my confession; and I quite enius, had led ht shelter all my days from the tempests of the world
”Whether I stay here,” said I, ”depends on myself alone, as I aive him ten thousand crowns for my support”
All that was needed to secure , and I did not doubt but that the abbot would let me have what books I pleased if I promised to leave them to the monastery after my death
As to the society of the s inseparable fro to pass in that way, since I had no ambitions which could rouse the jealousy of the other monks Nevertheless, despite my fascination, I foresaw the possibility of repentance, and I shuddered at the thought, but I had a cure for that also
”When I ask for the habit,” I said, ”I will also ask that my novitiate be extended for ten years, and if repentance do not come in ten years it will not come at all I shall declare that I do not wish for any cure or any ecclesiastical dignity All I want is peace and leave to follow ht: I could easily re tered my mind, to forfeit the ten thousand crohich I would pay in advance
I put down this fine idea in writing before I went to bed; and in theavechocolate in his roo anything put it on the table, and after breakfast he walked up and down the rooive ht with the impatience of a child who has been promised toys on its birthday--so coe one's nature We had as good a dinner as on the day before, and e had risen froe is at the door to take you to Zurich Go, and letmy answer in person In the meanwhile here are two sealed letters, which please deliver yourself”
I replied that I would obey his instructions and that I would wait for hirant my wishes
I took his hand, which he allowed me to kiss, and I then set out for Zurich
As soon as uessed what he was thinking, and asked hi at
”I am amazed to see that no sooner do you arrive in Switzerland than you contrive to find some amusement which keeps you away for thole days”
”Ah, I see; go and tell the landlord that I shall want the use of a good carriage for the next fortnight, and also a guide on whom I can rely”