Volume III Part 27 (1/2)
The day afterconversation with Mdlle X C V,anted to givehim from whom the letter came, he replied that I should find all particulars in the letter, and that he had orders to wait for an answer The epistle ran as follows:
”I a I am weary and in need of rest, but a burden on my soul deprives er be so grievous when I have confided in you; I shall feel eased by placing it in your breast I am with child, and ed to write to you because I felt I could not say it Givethe above uessed I was petrified with astonishment and could only write, ”I will be with you at eleven o'clock”
No one should say that he has passed through great reat for his mind to bear The confidence of Mdlle X C V shewed ratulatedthe preference, and I vowed to do hts of a lover, but for all that I could not conceal from myself the imprudence of the step she had taken In such cases as these there is always the choice between speaking or writing, and the only feeling which can give the preference to writing is false shame, at bottom mere cowardice If I had not been in love with her, I should have found it easier to have refusedthan if she had spoken to me, but I loved her to distraction
”Yes,” said I to myself, ”she can count on me Her mishap makes her all the dearer to me”
And below this there was another voice, a voice which whispered toher ravestones at me for this avowal, but my answer is that such men cannot be in love as I was
I was punctual to my appointment, and found the fair unfortunate at the door of the hotel
”You are going out, are you? Where are you going?”
”I austinians”
”Is this a saint's day?”
”No; but o every day”
”I will coo into the cloisters and talk there”
Mdlle X C V was accompanied by her maid, but she knew better than to be in the way, so we left her in the cloisters As soon as ere alone she said to me,
”Have you read my letter?”
”Yes, of course; here it is, burn it yourself”
”No, keep it, and do so with your own hands”
”I see you trust in me, and I assure you I will not abuse your trust”
”I am sure you will not I aer, and the thought maddens et over it”
”Yes; I leave all to you You must procure an abortion”