Volume I Part 25 (2/2)
”A ht to kno to obtain affection and esteem at the same time”
”That is the very wish nearest to my heart”
”To-day you have tried for the esteem much more than for the affection of your fellow-creatures It may be a noble aspiration, but you hter, calu you, the victory hly refuted Salicetti to-day
Well, he is a physician, and what is more a Corsican; he rant that the longings of wonancy have no influence whatever on the skin of the foetus, when I know the reverse to be the case? Are you not of my opinion?”
”I am for neither party; I have seen many children with so with certainty whether thoseexperienced by the nant”
”But I can swear it is so”
”All the better for you if your conviction is based upon such evidence, and all the worse for Salicetti if he denies the possibility of the thing without certain authority But let him remain in error; it is better thus than to prove hi and toI called upon Lucrezia The faratulated me Lucrezia toldat the funeral of er my own master Her husband, always fond of a joke, told her that I was in love with her, and his mother-in-law advised him not to show sopersons, and then took leave of them, but the very air around me was heated by the flaan to write, and spent the night in co an ode which I sent the next day to the advocate I was certain that he would shew it to his wife, who loved poetry, and who did not yet know that I was a poet I abstained fro French, andextracts from ministerial letters
His e, and his roohest nobility of Rome; I had never attended these receptions The Abbe Gaht to do so as well as he did, without any pretension I followed his advice and went; nobody spoke to me, but as I was unknown everyone looked at me and enquired who I was The Abbe Gama asked me which was the lady who appeared to retted having done so, for the courtier went to her, and of course informed her of what I had said Soon afterwards I saw her look at lass and smile kindly upon me She was the Marchioness G----, whose 'cicisbeo' was Cardinal S---- C----
On the very day I had fixed to spend the evening with Donna Lucrezia the worthy advocate called uponto prove I was not in love with his wife by staying away I was very much mistaken, and he invited me to accompany all the family to Testaccio, where they intended to have luncheon on the following Thursday He added that his wife knew my ode by heart, and that she had read it to the intended husband of Angelique, who had a great wish to entleman was likewise a poet, and would be one of the party to Testaccio I promised the advocate I would coe for two
At that time every Thursday in the month of October was a festival day in Ro, and we talked about the excursion the whole time I felt certain that Donna Lucrezia looked forward to it with as much pleasure as I did myself We had no fixed plan, we could not have any, but we trusted to the God of love, and tacitly placed our confidence in his protection
I took care that Father Georgi should not hear of that excursion before I mentioned it to him myself, and I hastened to hio I confess that, to obtain his leave, I professed the most complete indifference about it, and the consequence was that the goodthat it was a faht for me to visit the environs of Rome and to enjoy myself in a respectable way
I went to Donna Cecilia's in a carriage which I hired fronon, and if I insist here upon his nahteen years, his acquaintance withintroduced me to Don Francisco, her intended son-in-lahoreat friend of literary ospel, and behaved accordingly; yet I thought he looked rather heavy and not sufficiently elated for a young elique But he had plenty of good-nature and plenty of allantry
As ere ready to get into the carriages, the advocate told e, and that the three ladies would go with Don Francisco in the other I answered at once that he ought to keep Don Francisco co care of Donna Cecilia, adding that I should feel dishonoured if things were arranged differently Thereupon I offered e, and an approving look of reeable sensation Yet the proposal of the advocate struck me somewhat unpleasantly, because it was in contradiction with his former behaviour, and especially hat he had said to me in my room a few days before
”Has he become jealous?” I said to ry, but the hope of bringing hi our stay at Testaccio cleared away the dark cloud on my mind, and I was very a we contrived to pass the afternoon very pleasantly; I was very gay, and my love for Lucrezia was not once mentioned; I was all attention to her mother I occasionally addressedthis the best way to shew him that he had insulted me
As we prepared to return, the advocate carried off Donna Cecilia and ith her to the carriage in which were already seated Angelique and Don Francisco Scarcely able to controlher soht, and seeined he had played ht have said to each other before giving ourselves up to the material enjoyment of our love, had not the instants been so precious! But, aware that we had only half an hour before us, ere sparing of the minutes We were absorbed in voluptuous pleasure when suddenly Lucrezia exclaims,---
”Oh! dear, how unhappy we are!”
She pushes e stops, and the servant opens the door ”What is the matter?” I enquire ”We are at home” Whenever I recollect the circumstance, it seems to me fabulous, for it is not possible to annihilate tiular old screws But ere lucky all through The night was dark, and et out of the carriage first, so that, although the advocate was at the door of the brougha to the slow hted I reot ho in inal source in the too short distance fro me Oh! unhappy are those who believe that the pleasures of Cythera are worth having, unless they are enjoyed in thewith love!
I only rose in tihter, na ht ood-looking youngher, and I soon perceived that she loved hi man called often upon me, and I liked hih I ed the subject, if I mentioned it in our conversation
I had made up my mind to respect his reserve, and had not alluded to his affection for several days But all at once I remarked that he had ceased his visits both to me and to his teacher, and at the saer present at my lessons; I felt soh it was not, after all, any concern offro away froreat sorrow had befallen him, which had fairly turned his brain, and that he was a prey to the most intense despair His eyes ith tears
As I was leaving hier be his friend unless he opened his heart to me He took me to one of the cloisters, and he spoke thus: