Volume I Part 4 (2/2)

”But they are sublio to bed and speak no more on the subject Your ansonderful, because you cannot possibly know anything of the subject in question, or of the ht to be written”

As far as the subject was concerned, I knew it by theory; for, unknown to the doctor, and because he had forbidden it, I had read Meursius, but it was natural that he should be aht le line 'Nemo dat quod non habet' is a false axiom when applied to mental acquire for our departure, ave me a parcel for Bettina, and M Grimani presented me with four sequins to buy books A week later

After our return to Padua, ood master for three or fourfound in the parcel five yards of black silk and twelve pairs of gloves, becaood care of ive up wearing the wig She used to co, often before I was out of bed, saying that she had not time to wait until I was dressed She washed my face, my neck, ht innocent, but which caused ry with er than she was, it seemed to me that she could not love me with any idea of mischief, and the consciousness of my own vicious excitement put me out of temper with etting stouter, and would have the proof of it with her own hands, she caused , for fear she would re thatsensation ry with hted at her not guessing how I longed to do it When I was dressed, she often gavechild, but whatever wish I had to follow her exah After so atand returned her kisses with interest, but I always gave way the o further; I then would turn o away She was scarcely out of the roo followed the inclination of my nature, and, astonished at the fact that Bettina could do toany excite e

In the early part of autumn, the doctor received three new boarders; and one of them, as fifteen years old, appeared to me in less than a month on very friendly ter of which until then I had no idea, and which I only analyzed a few years afterwards It was neither jealousy nor indignation, but a noble conteht not to be repressed, because Cordiani, an ignorant, coarse boy, without talent or polite education, the son of a si, having overmanhood, did not appear toself-estee of pride ainst Bettina, whouessed it from the way I would receive her caresses, when she came to comb my hair while I was in bed; I would repulse her hands, and no longer return her kisses One day, vexed at e towards her by stating that I had no cause for it, she, told me in a tone of commiseration that I was jealous of Cordiani This reproach sounded toslander I answered that Cordiani was, in my estimation, as worthy of her as she orthy of hi in her ht herself bound to render me jealous However, as she could not attain such an end withoutme fall in love with her, this is the policy she adopted

One htAfter dressing s on herself, in order to correct any deficiency in the other pairs she intended to knit for one out to say his , she res were not clean, and without any an to wash them I would have been ashamed to let her seeould happen Bettina, seated on my bed, carried too far her love for cleanliness, and her curiosity causeddid not stop until it could be carried no further

Having recovered ed her forgiveness She did not expect this, and, after considering for a few moments, she told me kindly that the fault was entirely her own, but that she never would again be guilty of it And she went out of the roohts

They were of a cruel character It seeht dishonour upon Bettina, that I had betrayed the confidence of her faainst the sacred laws of hospitality, that I was guilty of aher, in case Bettina could make up her mind to accept for her husband a wretch unworthy of her

These thoughts led to a deepfro visits bythe first week, I could easily account for the girl's reserve, and my sadness would soon have taken the character of the warmest love, had not her manner towards Cordiani inoculated in h I never drea her of the same crime towards him that she had committed upon me

I felt convinced, after due consideration, that the act she had been guilty of with s of repentance kept her away fro toloved, and the end of all s was that I e

I composed a letter, short but calculated to restore peace to her uilty, or suspected ht expect from me My letter was, in my own estimation, a perfect masterpiece, and just the kind of epistle by which I was certain to conquer her very adoration, and to sink for ever the sun of Cordiani, who likely to make her hesitate for one instant in her choice between him and me

Half-an-hour after the receipt ofshe would pay me her usual visit, but I waited in vain

This conduct provoked reat when, at the breakfast table, she asked irl to accohbour of ours, Doctor Olivo, had sent letters of invitation Everybody having seconded the ement would afford a favourable opportunity for an explanation, for mutual vindication, and would open a door for the most co from the proverbial weakness of the flesh But athe ball, and brought forth a coic turn

Doctor Gozzi's Godfather, ain the country, thought himself, after a severe illness, very near his end, and sent to the doctor a carriage with a request to come to him at once with his father, as he wished the soul The old shoemaker drained a bottle, donned his Sunday clothes, and went off with his son

I thought this a favourable opportunity and deterht of the ball was too reed to tell Bettina that I would leave ajar the door of my room, and that I would wait for her as soon as everyone in the house had gone to bed She proround floor in a small closet divided only by a partition fro away, I was alone in the large room

The three boarders had their apartment in a different part of the house, and I had therefore no hted at the idea that I had at last reached the moment so ardently desired

The instant I was into the passage, so that Bettina should have only to push it in order to coht out, but did not undress When we read of such situations in a roerated; they are not so, and the passage in which Ariosto represents Roger waiting for Alcine is a beautiful picture painted fro much anxiety; but I heard the clock strike two, three, four o'clock in the an to boil, and I was soon in a state of furious rage It was snowing hard, but I shook from passion more than from cold

One hour before day-break, unable to o downstairs with bare feet, so as not to wake the dog, and to place myself at the bottoht to have been opened if she had gone out of her room I reached the door; it was closed, and as it could be locked only froined that Bettina had fallen asleep I was on the point of knocking at the door, but was prevented by fear of rousing the dog, as from that door to that of her closet there was a distance of three or four yards Overwhelrief, and unable to take a decision, I sat down on the last step of the stairs; but at day-break, chilled, benu with cold, afraid that the servant would see o back to my room

I arise, but at that very moment I hear so to see her, and hope lending th, I draw nearer to the door It opens; but instead of Bettina coives me such a furious kick in the stomach that I a a single instant Cordiani is off, and locks himself up in the room which he shared with the brothers Feltrini

I pick e upon Bettina, whoe at that ainst it, the dog starts a loud barking, and I make a hurried retreat tomyself in bed to compose and heal up my mind and body, for I was half dead

Deceived, humbled, ill-treated, an object of contempt to the happy and triu the darkest schee To poison them both seemed to me but a trifle in that terrible ave way to another as extravagant, as cowardly-na to hie, and my mind had not yet acquired sufficient coolness to e, which are produced by false feelings of honour; this was only my apprenticeshi+p in such adventures