Part 1 (1/2)
Brite and Fair.
by Henry A. Shute.
June 2th, 186---sunday nite. i have been to chirch and sunday school today, not to the unitarial. we are going to the congrigasional now becaus Keene and Cele are singing in the quire. so we go there.
i had ruther go to the unitarial becaus Beany and Pewt go there. Beany blows the organ and sumtimes he peeks out behine the organ and maiks a feerful face and maiks everybody laff. once Beany he thummed his nose to old Chipper Burly. Chipper he was the sunday school supperintendent and was beeting time for the scholers to sing and Chipper he tirned round quick and see Beany, and Chipper he jest hipered into the organ log and grabed Beany by the coler and yanked him out of the lof and wauked him out of the chirch. then he got Micky Goold to blow the organ and Beany he lost his gob for 2 sundays, but Micky went to sleep 2 or 3 times and snoared feerful and they had to waik him up and once he hollered rite out loud. so Mickey he lost his gob and they got Beany back. They tride Pewt and then Game Ey Watson, Beanys brother but they was wirse than Micky. so they hired Beany. he is the best and only lets the wind out one or two times every sunday and the organ sounds like a goos but that aint so bad as going to sleep and hollering goldarn it lemme alone is it?
we had a new minister today, miser Larned has gone away for all summer. the new minister preeched about not killing flise and buggs and wirms and b.u.mbelbeas and yeller jacket hornits. he sed they had a rite to live jest as mutch as peeple and we hadent augt to kill them. i spose it is all rite to let a muskeeter or flee or one of them 3 cornered flise that hangs round a swimmin hole bite you terrible and not even yip. how about bedbugs.
June 3, 186---today is was.h.i.+ng day and i had to lug about a million pales of water for old mis Dire, Sams mother whitch comes over mondays.
her hands is all sriveled up they has been in hot water so mutch. mother she sed that was the reason when i asted her and father he laffed and sed he had been in hot water all his life and he wasent sriveled a bit. mother she laffed two. father aint sriveled for he weigs 214 lbs. i gess he dident meen that kind of hot water eether. i am tired most to deth tonite.
June 4, 186---brite and fair. i went fis.h.i.+ng today with Potter Goram in the morning and was going again in the afternoon but i dident get home in time to help them flap flise out of the dining room and mother woodent let me go to pay me for being lait. darn it. every day we have to flap flise out of the dining room. we all grab our flapers and begin to flap from one end of the room to the other flaping them into the kitchen. then we shet the doors and keep them out. it is fun flaping for most always i can give Keene a good bat in the ear with a flaper when she aint looking. then she gives me one on the snoot and then we jest go at it til mother stops us. she maiks us take tirns now. ferst it is me and Cele and then it is Cele and Keene. it is never me and Keen any more. mother says we fite enuf without fiting when there is china and crockery and gla.s.s round and things to eat two.
ennyway it is tuf on Cele to have to do it all the time becaus she is good and dont fite.
i told mother what old mister minister sed and mother she sed that if old mister minister had to fite flise for every mossel of food he et she gessed he woodent say mutch about not killing them. Aunt Sarah she sed so two. flise is wirse this summer.
we have got a new set of fli screnes. little ones for the b.u.t.ter plates, bigger ones for the sa.s.s plates and some grate big ones for the meat plates and the cake basket. we had to get them becaus the old ones was woar out and i took the big one and kept a young robin in nearly a week and mother maid me let him go and never wood use the screne again.
we tride to have muzlin screnes to the wiinders but the cat and the dog jumped through them if the doors was shet. mother says she dont know what she will do if the flise get enny wirse.
June 5, 186---it raned last nite. brite and fair today. it raned hard and the sidewalks was filed with pudles of water. me and Beany had lots of fun spatering peeple. the way we do it is this.
when we see sum peeple waulking on the sidewaulks we run by them fast and stamp hard in the pudles and the water spaters all over them. we dont do it to wimmen and girls. but we do to men and fellers. it is lots of fun to hear them sware. Beany got 2 bats in the ear and a kick and i got 3 bats in the ear and 2 kicks. so i beat Beany. one of the kicks was a peeler. ennyway we had lots of fun.
today all the fellers and girls got a letter from old mister minister and it had in it a peace of poetry like this
do you know how menny flise fli about in the warm sun how menny fishes in the water G.o.d has counted eevry one every one he called by naim when into the wirld it caime.
there was a lot moar to it but i aint got no time to wright enny moar of such stuf as that. i showed it to mother and she said when he got older peraps he wood know moar.
June 6, 186---clowdy today. jest the day to go fis.h.i.+ng but i had to ho in the garden. if it had raned i coodent ho the beans becaus if you ho when it is wet they will be all covered with black specks like Whacker Chadwick had when he had the measles.
i have et them like that and they taist jest like those yeller spots in creem tarter bisquit when it gets way in a corner of your mouth up under your ear on the inside and you cant reech it with a drink of water.
ennyway it dident rane and i had to ho whitch is jest my luck. mother let me go at 4 oh clock to go in swimming with the Chadwicks and Potter and Skinny Bruce. we had sum fun tying gnots in Skinnys shert sleev. we bet Skinny coodent swim across under water and while he was doing it we wet his shert sleves and tide hard gnots in them.
Skinny coodent unty them becaus he aint got enny front teeth. most of the fellers can unty gnots eesy with their teeth but Skinny had to go home with his shert tide around his neck and his jacket b.u.t.tened up t.i.te.
the 3 cornered flise has come and bit Skinny terrible while he was trying to get into his shert.
i hollered oh Skinny, do you know how meny flise fli about in the warm sun and Skinny he up and chased me as far as Gilmans barn and wood have chased me further but he hadent enny shert on.
i guess if the old minister had heard Skinny sware he woodent have sed mutch more about flise.
June 7, 186---brite and fair. not mutch today.
tonite the band played in the band room. Ed Tilton has got a new basehorn. it is auful s.h.i.+ny and almost as long as he is. Potsy Dirgin played a fife. father says peraps i can have a fife some day but a cornet costs two much money. they played a new march and a peace that mother said was a romanse from leeclare. mother used to play it. i asked her where leeclare was and she sed it was a mans name. Cele can hear a band peace once and play it on the piano jest as good as they can. i can whistle it all rite but she can put in the alto and the treble and the base jest like it is rote.
June 8, 186---brite and fair. not mutch today only swiming and playing base ball and a fite down town whitch old Swain and old Kize the poliseman stoped. tonite we all have to take a bath in the tub in the kichen. Mother maiks me use soft sope.
the others use casteel sope but mother says soft sope is the only thing that will get me cleen. it stings terrible when it gets into a cut or a soar place.
after a feler has been stang with soft sope in a cut on his hand or on his leg with a nail or a peace of gla.s.s or a tin can he dont care mutch for anything but a yeller jakit hornit. i had to lug all the water for the tub and i had to fill it with fresh water for every one of us. they aint enny sense in that. onct wood have been enuf. twict wood ennyway.
June 9, 186---Sunday again brite and fair it is always brite and fair sundays so fellers has to go to chirch. last nite when Keene was going to bed we heard sum feerful screaches in her room. mother and aunt Sarah just hipered upstairs thinking Keene had tiped over the lamp and was burning to deth and both hollering for mecy sakes what is the matter.
nothing was the matter only a dorbugg had flew into her hair and stuck there and scart her most to deth. mother said she had augt to be ashaimed of herself. mother give me the dorbugg and i am going to put it down Beanys back. i bet Beany will gump.
Beany come to our chirch today. they wasnt eny chirch at the unitarial. in sunday school Beany spoke a peace about a fli. it said G.o.d made the little fli but if you crush it it will die and then he set down. the rest of us laffed but the minister told us it was the best peace of all and it showed that Elbridge, that is Beany you know, was kind to flise and ins.e.x of all kinds and if we was all like Elbridge, Beany you know, the wirld woodent have as mutch mizzery in it. we was all mad with Beany for showing off and we were going to lam him one after school let out. he cought a big b.u.mbelbea whitch had flew in to the window and took sum wax and hitched a long white thread to the b.u.mbelbea and let him go and he flew all over the chirch with that long white thread hanging down like a kite tail. everybody laffed and the girls screemed and ducked there heads down and the minister tride a long while to ketch the b.u.mblelbea and finely he cought it by the thred and it clim up the thred and stang him and he sed drat the pesky thing and snaped his fingers and the bea flew out of the window.
then the minister sed it was natural for the bea to be scart only he sed terrorfide whitch meens the saim, and it dident know who was befrending it.