Part 22 (1/2)

”It doesn't as long as he is not,” remarked Michael grimly.

”It doesn't matter much in any case. We're all ugly compared to girls; and why ever they should consent to marry any of us awful hairy things, smelling of smoke and drink, is more than I can make out; but, as a matter of fact, they do. They don't mind what we look like; what they care about is whether we want them. Of course, there are exceptions--”

”You see one,” said Michael.

”No, I don't. Good Lord, you've only asked her once. You've got to make yourself felt. You're not intending to give up, are you?”

”I couldn't give up.”

”Well then, just hold on. She likes you, doesn't she?”

”Certainly,” said Michael, without hesitation. ”But that's a long way from the other thing.”

”It's on the same road.”

Michael got up.

”It may be,” he said, ”but it strikes me it's round the corner. You can't even see one from the other.”

”Possibly not. But you never know how near the corner really is. Go for her, Mike, full speed ahead.”

”But how?”

”Oh, there are hundreds of ways. I'm not sure that one of the best isn't to keep away for a bit. Even if she doesn't want you just now, when you are there, she may get to want you when you aren't. I don't think I should go on the mournful Byronic plan if I were you; I don't think it would suit your style; you're too heavily built to stand leaning against the chimney-piece, gazing at her and dishevelling your hair.”

Michael could not help laughing.

”Oh, for G.o.d's sake, don't make a joke of it,” he said.

”Why not? It isn't a tragedy yet. It won't be a tragedy till she marries somebody else, or definitely says no. And until a thing is proved to be tragic, the best way to deal with it is to treat it like a comedy which is going to end well. It's only the second act now, you see, when everything gets into a mess. By the merciful decrees of Providence, you see, girls on the whole want us as much as we want them. That's what makes it all so jolly.”

Michael went down next day to Ashbridge, where Aunt Barbara and Francis were to follow the day after, and found, after the freedom and interests of the last six months, that the pompous formal life was more intolerable than ever. He was clearly in disgrace still, as was made quite clear to him by his father's icy and awful politeness when it was necessary to speak to him, and by his utter unconsciousness of his presence when it was not. This he had expected. Christmas had ushered in a truce in which no guns were discharged, but remained sighted and pointed, ready to fire.

But though there was no change in his father, his mother seemed to Michael to be curiously altered; her mind, which, as has been already noticed, was usually in a stunned condition, seemed to have awakened like a child from its sleep, and to have begun vaguely crying in an inarticulate discomfort. It was true that Petsy was no more, having succ.u.mbed to a bilious attack of unusual severity, but a second Petsy had already taken her place, and Lady Ashbridge sat with him--it was a gentleman Petsy this time--in her lap as before, and occasionally shed a tear or two over Petsy II. in memory of Petsy I. But this did not seem to account for the wakening up of her mind and emotions into this state of depression and anxiety. It was as if all her life she had been quietly dozing in the sun, and that the place where she sat had pa.s.sed into the shade, and she had awoke cold and s.h.i.+vering from a bitter wind. She had become far more talkative, and though she had by no means abandoned her habit of upsetting any conversation by the extreme obviousness of her remarks, she asked many more questions, and, as Michael noticed, often repeated a question to which she had received an answer only a few minutes before. During dinner Michael constantly found her looking at him in a shy and eager manner, removing her gaze when she found it was observed, and when, later, after a silent cigarette with his father in the smoking-room, during which Lord Ashbridge, with some ostentation, studied an Army List, Michael went to his bedroom, he was utterly astonished, when he gave a ”Come in” to a tapping at his door, to see his mother enter. Her maid was standing behind her holding the inevitable Petsy, and she herself hovered hesitatingly in the doorway.

”I heard you come up, Michael,” she said, ”and I wondered if it would annoy you if I came in to have a little talk with you. But I won't come in if it would annoy you. I only thought I should like a little chat with you, quietly, secure from interruptions.”

Michael instantly got up from the chair in front of his fire, in which he had already begun to see images of Sylvia. This intrusion of his mother's was a thing utterly unprecedented, and somehow he at once connected its innovation with the strange manner he had remarked already. But there was complete cordiality in his welcome, and he wheeled up a chair for her.

”But by all means come in, mother,” he said. ”I was not going to bed yet.”

Lady Ashbridge looked round for her maid.

”And will Petsy not annoy you if he sits quietly on my knee?” she asked.

”Of course not.”

Lady Ashbridge took the dog.

”There, that is nice,” she said. ”I told them to see you had a good fire on this cold night. Has it been very cold in London?”