Volume Xiv Part 72 (1/2)

CAR. So, good Sir Jasper, you've your doom in folio.[133]

[_Aside._

SIR ART. Receive me, dear Julippe.

JUL. For what end?

Have you stol'n from your colours? O, I hate A coward worser than a maidenhead Basely bestow'd. These Paphlagonian birds-- These heartless partridges--shall never nestle Under my feathers. Till your spirit revive, And look like man, disclaim your interest And injur'd t.i.tle in Julippe.

PAL. So; He must first learn to fight, ere she to love.

[_Aside._

JOC. What would Sir Gregory?

SIR GRE. That you would love me.

JOC. No; you must cast your slough first: can you see Ought in yourself worth loving? Have you ever, Since our unhappy meeting, us'd a gla.s.s, And not been startled in the sad perusal Of your affrightful physnomy? Sir, hear me; And let me beg your patience, if you hear Aught may disrelish you. When th' camel shall Trans-shape himself into a nimble weasel, Or such-like active creature, and this bunch, Which Nemesis has on your shoulders pitch'd (This bunch of grapes, I mean) shall levell'd be,

[_She lays her hand upon his shoulders._

And brought into proportion by a press Equally squeezing, till it shall retain Adonis' feature, I shall value you, And hug you for my consort. But till then Excuse my strangeness.

SAL. So; his cause is heard: He must unshape himself to gain her love.

MED. Sir Tristram Shorttool, have you ought to do In this pursuit of fancy?

SIR TRIS. Something, madam.

MED. But to small[134] purpose. Sir Tristram, you have been A man of reading, and on winter nights You told me tales (for that was all[135] you did), What strange adventures and what gallant acts Redoubted knights did for their ladies' sakes; But what did you for Medler all the while?

Did you e'er toss a pike or brandish blade For her dear sake? Go to, I shall conceal, And with a modest, bashful veil enshroud What sense bids me discover. Let me, sir, Advise you as a friend; for other styles, Relating to an husband, I shall never Henceforth resent them with a free comply: Love suits not well with your decrepit age; Let it be your chief care t' intend your health; Use caudles, cordials, julips, pectorals; Keep your feet warm; bind up your nape o' th' neck Close against chilling airs, that you may live An old man long; but take especial care You b.u.t.ton on your nightcap.

MOR. After th' new fas.h.i.+on With his loave-ears[136] without it.

[_Aside._

MED. This is all-- Only your absence.

MOR. So good night, Sir Tristram.

[_Aside._

SIR REU. Sweet Madam Tinder.

[SIR REUBEN _offers to kiss her_.

TIN. Keep your distance, sir; I love not to be touch'd.

SIR REU. Are you so hot, My tender tinder?