Volume Xi Part 84 (1/2)

TRIN. T' Antonio's form! Was not Antonio a gentleman?

PAN. Yes, and my neighbour; that's his house.

TRIN. O, O!

Now do I smell th' astrologer's trick: he'll steep me In soldier's blood, or boil me in a caldron Of barbarous law French; or anoint me over With supple oil of great men's services; For these three means raise yeomen to the gentry.

Pardon me, sir: I hate those medicines. Fie!

All my posterity will smell and taste on't, Long as the house of Trincalo endures.

PAN. There's no such business; thou shalt only seem so, And thus deceive Antonio's family.

TRIN. Are you a.s.sur'd? 'Twould grieve me to be bray'd[278]

In a huge mortar, wrought to paste, and moulded To this Antonio's mould. Grant, I be turn'd; what then?

PAN. Enter his house, be reverenc'd by his servants, And give his daughter Flavia to me in marriage.

The circ.u.mstances I'll instruct thee after.

TRIN. Pray, give me leave: this side says do't; this, do not.

Before I leave you, Tom Trincalo, take my counsel: Thy mistress Armellina is Antonio's maid, And thou, in his shape, may'st possess her: turn.

But if I be Antonio, then Antonio Enjoys that happiness, not Trincalo.

A pretty trick, to make myself a cuckold!

No, no; there, take your lease. I'll hang first. Soft, Be not so choleric, Thomas. If I become Antonio, Then all his riches follow. This fair occasion Once vanish'd, hope not the like; of a stark clown, I shall appear a speck-and-span new gentleman.[279]

A pox of ploughs and carts, and whips and horses.

Then Armellina shall be given to Trincalo, Three hundred crowns her portion. We'll get a boy, And call him Transformation Trincalo.

I'll do't, sir.

PAN. Art resolv'd?

TRIN. Resolv'd! 'Tis done-- With this condition: after I have given your wors.h.i.+p My daughter Flavia, you shall then move my wors.h.i.+p, And much entreat me, to bestow my maid Upon myself--I should say Trincalo.

PAN. Content; and for thy sake will make her portion Two hundred crowns.

TRIN. Now are you much deceiv'd: I never meant it.

PAN. How!

TRIN. I did but jest; And yet, my hand, I'll do't: for I am mutable, And therefore apt to change. Come, come, sir, quickly, Let's to the astrologer, and there transform, Reform, conform, deform me at your pleasure.

I loathe this country countenance. Despatch: my skin Itches like a snake's in April to be stripp'd off.

Quickly, O, quickly! as you love Flavia, quickly.

SCENE III.

ALb.u.mAZAR, PANDOLFO, RONCA, TRINCALO.

ALB. Signior Pandolfo, y' arrive in happiest hour: If the seven planets were your nearest kindred, And all the constellations your allies; Were the twelve houses and the inns o' th' zodiac Your own fee-simple, they could ne'er ha' chosen A fitter place to favour your designs.

For the great luminaries look from Helic[280]