Volume Ix Part 57 (1/2)

PETER PLOD-ALL.

Nay, he'll do more than that too, for he'll make himself like a devil, and fray the scholar that hankers about her out on's wits.

PLOD-ALL.

Marry, Jesus bless us! will he so? Marry, thou shalt have vorty s.h.i.+llings to give him, and thy mother shall bestow a hard cheese on him beside.

WILL CRICKET.

Landlord, a pox on you, this good morn!

PLOD-ALL.

How now, fool? what, dost curse me?

WILL CRICKET.

How now, fool! How now, caterpillar? It's a sign of death, when such vermin creep hedges so early in the morning.

PETER PLOD-ALL.

Sirrah foul manners, do you know to whom you speak?

WILL CRICKET.

Indeed, Peter, I must confess I want some of your wooing manners, or else I might have turned my fair bushtail to you instead of your father, and have given you the ill salutation this morning.

PETER PLOD-ALL.

Let him alone, Peter; I'll temper him well enough. Sirrah, I hear say, you must be married shortly. I'll make you pay a sweet fine for your house for this. Ha, sirrah! am not I your landlord?

WILL CRICKET.

Yes, for fault of a better; but you get neither sweet fine nor sour fine of me.

PLOD-ALL.

My masters, I pray you bear witness I do discharge him then.

WILL CRICKET.

My masters, I pray you bear witness my landlord has given me a general discharge. I'll be married presently. My fine's paid; I have a discharge for it. [_He offers to go away_.

PLOD-ALL.

Nay, prythee, stay.

WILL CRICKET.

No, I'll not stay. I'll go call the clerk. I'll be cried out upon i' the church presently. What, ho! what, clerk, I say? where are you?

_Enter_ CLERK.

CLERK.

Who calls me? what would you with me?

WILL CRICKET.

Marry, sir, I would have you to make proclamation that, if any manner of man, o' the town or the country, can lay any claim to Peg Pudding, let him bring word to the crier, or else William Cricket will wipe his nose of her.

CLERK.

You mean, you would be asked i' the church?

WILL CRICKET.