Volume Ix Part 10 (2/2)

ANS. Fuller!

FUL. Anselm!

ANS. How lik'st thou this?

FUL. As school-boys jerks, apes whips, as lions c.o.c.ks, As Furies do fasting-days, and devils crosses, As maids to have their marriage-days put off; I like it as the thing I most do loathe.

What wilt thou do? for shame, persist no more In this extremity of frivolous love.

I see, my doctrine moves no precise ears, But such as are profess'd inamoratos.

ANS. O, I shall die!

FUL. Tus.h.!.+ live to laugh a little: Here's the best subject that thy love affords; Listen awhile and hear this: ho, boy! speak.

_Enter_ AMINADAB.

AMIN. _As in presenti_, thou loath'st the gift I sent thee; _Nolo plus_ tarry, but die for the beauteous Mary; Fain would I die by a sword, but what sword shall I die by?

Or by a stone, what stone? _nullus lapis jacet ibi_.

Knive I have none to sheathe in my breast, or empty my full veins: Here's no wall or post which I can soil with my bruis'd brains; First will I therefore say two or three creeds and Ave Marys, And after go buy a poison at the apothecary's.

FUL. I pry thee, Anselm, but observe this fellow; Doest not hear him? he would die for love; That misshap'd love thou wouldst condemn in him, I see in thee: I prythee, note him well.

ANS. Were I a.s.sur'd that I were such a lover I should be with myself quite out of love: I prythee, let's persuade him still to live.

FUL. That were a dangerous case, perhaps the fellow In desperation would, to soothe us up, Promise repentant recantation, And after fall into that desperate course, Both which I will prevent with policy.

AMIN. O death! come with thy dart! come, death, when I bid thee!

_Mors, veni: veni, mors_! and from this misery rid me; She whom I lov'd--whom I lov'd, even she--my sweet pretty Mary, Doth but flout and mock, and jest and dissimulary.

FUL. I'll fit him finely; in this paper is The juice of mandrake, by a doctor made To cast a man, whose leg should be cut off, Into a deep, a cold, and senseless sleep; Of such approved operation That whoso takes it, is for twice twelve hours Breathless, and to all men's judgments past all sense; This will I give the pedant but in sport; For when 'tis known to take effect in him, The world will but esteem it as a jest; Besides, it may be a means to save his life, For being [not] perfect poison, as it seems His meaning is, some covetous slave for coin Will sell it him,[17] though it be held by law To be no better than flat felony.

ANS. Uphold the jest--but he hath spied us; peace!

AMIN. Gentles, G.o.d save you!

Here is a man I have noted oft, most learn'd in physic, One man he help'd of the cough, another he heal'd of the pthisic, And I will board him thus, _salve, O salve, magister_!

FUL. _Gratus mihi advenis! quid mec.u.m vis_?

AMIN. _Optatus venis; paucis te volo_.

FUL. _Si quid industria nostra tibi faciet, dic, quaeso_.

AMIN. Attend me, sir;--I have a simple house, But, as the learned Diogenes saith In his epistle to Tertullian, It is extremely troubled with great rats; I have no _mus_ puss, nor grey-ey'd cat, To hunt them out. O, could your learned art Show me a means how I might poison them, _Tuus dum suus_, Sir Aminadab.

FUL. With all my heart; I am no rat-catcher; But if you need a poison, here is that Will pepper both your dogs, and rats, and cats: Nay, spare your purse: I give this in good will; And, as it proves, I pray you send to me, And let me know. Would you aught else with me?

AMIN. _Minime quidem_; here's that you say will take them?

A thousand thanks, sweet sir; I say to you, As Tully in his Aesop's Fables said _Ago tibi gratias_; so farewell, _vale_!

[_Exit_.

FUL. Adieu! Come, let us go; I long to see, What the event of this new jest will be.

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