Volume Viii Part 93 (1/2)

'Tis not one hour's pleasure that I suspect more than your mother's good, countenance. If she be asleep, we may be bold under correction; if she be awake, I may go my ways, and n.o.body ask me, _Grim, whither goest thou_? Nay, I tell you, I am so well beloved in our town, that not the worst dog in the street will hurt my little finger.

JOAN. Why speak you this? You need not fear my mother, For she was fast asleep four hours ago.

GRIM. Is she, sure? Did you hear her snort in her dead sleep? Why then, Joan, I have an hour's mirth for thee.

JOAN. And I a mess of cream for thee.

GRIM. Why, there is one for another then: fetch it, Joan; we will eat and kiss, and be as merry as your cricket. [_Exit_ JOAN _for the cream_.] Art thou gone for it? Well, go thy ways for the kindest la.s.s that ever poor collier met withal? I mean for to make short work with her, and marry her presently. I'll single her out, i'faith, till I make her bear double, and give the world to understand we will have a young Grim between us.

_Enter_ JOAN _with the cream_.

JOAN. Look here, my love, 'tis sweeten'd for thy mouth.

GRIM. You have put none of your love-powder in it, to make me enamourable of you, have you, Joan? I have a simple pate, to expect you! [_One knocketh at the door_.] Joan, hark, my brains beat, my head works, and my mind giveth me: some lovers of yours come sneaking hither now; I like it not, 'tis suspectious.

[_One knocketh again_.

JOAN. You need not fear it; for there is none alive Shall bear the least part of my heart from thee.

GRIM. Say'st thou so? hold there still, and whoe'er he be, open door to him.

_She openeth the door. Enter_ SHORTHOSE, _and_ ROBIN _after him_.

JOAN. What, Master Parson, are you come so late?

You are welcome; here's none but Grim and I.

SHO. Joan, I'll no more a-nutting go, I was so beaten to and fro; And yet who it was, I do not know.

GRIM. What, Master Parson, are you come so late to say eveningsong to your paris.h.i.+oners? I have heard of your knavery. I give you a fair warning; touch her no lower than her girdle, and no higher than her chin: I keep her lips and her hips for my own use. I do; and so welcome.

ROBIN. This two hours have I dogg'd the parson round about all Croydon, doubting some such thing. [_Aside_.]

SHO. No, Grim, I here forswear to touch Thy Joan, or any other such: Love hath been so cudgell'd out of me, I'll go no more to wood with thee.

ROB. 'Twas Robin beat this holy mind into him.

I think more cudgelling would make him more honest. [_Aside_.]

GRIM. You speak like an honest man and a good parson, and that is more.

Here's Joan's benevolation for us, a mess of cream and so forth. Here is your place, Master Parson. Stand on the t'other side of the table, Joan.

Eat hard to-night, that thou may marry us the better to-morrow.

ROB. What, is my brother Grim so good a fellow.

[_They fall to the cream_.

I love a mess of cream as well as they; I think it were best I stepp'd in and made one. [_Aside_.]

Ho, ho, ho,[476] my masters! No good fellows.h.i.+p!

Is Robin Goodfellow a bugbear grown, [ROBIN _falleth to eat_.

That he is not worthy to be bid sit down?

GRIM. O Lord, save us! sure, he is some country-devil; he hath got a russet coat upon his face.