Volume Vi Part 46 (1/2)

SIMPLICITY.

Faith, cousin, he's such a testern[182] and proud, 'sembling knave, That he'll do nothing, 'less some bribery he have.

There's a great many such promoting knaves, that gets their living With nothing else but facing, lying, swearing, and flattering.

Why, he has a face like a black dog,[183] and blusheth like the back-side of a chimney.

'Twas not for nothing thy G.o.dfathers a cogging name gave thee.

[_Enter_ LADY LUCRE.

But here comes his mistress Lady Lucre: Now, cousin, I'll 'liver your letter.

Mistress Lady Lucre, here's a letter for ye.

LUCRE.

Hast thou a letter for me?

SIMPLICITY.

Yes, by Saint Mary.

How say you, cousin? she reads your letter: And you can flatter, perhaps you shall speed better.

SINCERITY.

Thou speakest the truth, Simplicity; for flatterers now-a-days Live gentlemen-like, and with prating get praise.

LUCRE.

Sir, I have read the tenure of your letter, wherein I find That at the request of Love and Conscience I should show myself kind In bestowing some spiritual living on ye, parsonage, or benefice: It seems it stands greatly in need, as appears by this.

And, trust me, I would do for you; but it lies not in me, For I have referred all such matters to my servant Simony.

You must speak to him, and if you can get his goodwill, Then be sure of mine their minds to fulfil.

SINCERITY.

Lady, I shall never get his goodwill, because I want ability, For he will do nothing, except I bring money.

And if you grant it not, then, 'tis past all doubt, I shall be never the better, but go quite without.

DISSIMULATION.

Madam, I can tell you what you may give, Not hurting yourself, whereby he may live, And without my fellow Simony's consent, If to follow my mind you are any whit bent.

LUCRE.

Pray thee, what is it? thou knowest, while for their house I am in bargaining, And it be never so little, I must seem to do something.

DISSIMULATION.

Why, have you not the parsonage of St Nihil to bestow?

If you give him that, Simony shall never know.

LUCRE.

Indeed, thou sayest true. Draw near, Sincerity: Lo, for their sakes I will bestow frankly on thee.

I'll give thee the parsonage of Saint Nihil to pleasure them withal, And such another to it, if thou watch, till it fall.

SIMPLICITY.

My lady axes you, when you will take possession of your house, and lend the rest of the money.

LUCRE.

What, are they so hasty? belike they spent it merrily.

SIMPLICITY.

Faith, no; for they would eat it, if they could get it, when they are a-hungry.

But you may be happy, for you have sped well to-day: [_Speaking to_ SINCERITY.