Volume Ii Part 19 (1/2)

Go, or I shall send thee hence in the devil's name!

Avoid, thou lousy lurden and precious stinking slave, That neither thy name knowest nor canst any master have!

Wine-shaken pillory-peeper,[191] of lice not without a peck, Hence, or by G.o.ds precious,[192] I shall break thy neck!

CAREAWAY.

Then, master, I beseech you heartily take the pain, If I be found in any place, to bring me to me again.

Now is not this a wonderful case, That no man shall lese himself so in any place?

Have any of you heard of such a thing heretofore?

No, nor never shall, I daresay, from henceforth any more.

JACK JUGGLER [_Aside_.]

While he museth and judgeth himself upon, I will steal away for a while, and let him alone.

[_Exit Jack Juggler_.

CAREAWAY.

Good Lord of heaven, where did I myself leave?

Or who did me of my name by the way bereave?

For I am sure of this in my mind, That I did in no place leave myself behind.

If I had my name played away at dice, Or had sold myself to any man at a price, Or had made a fray, and had lost it in fighting, Or it had been stolen from me sleeping, It had been a matter, and I would have kept patience; But it spiteth my heart to have lost it by such open negligence.

Ah, thou wh.o.r.eson, drowsy, drunken sot!

It were an alms-deed to walk[193] thy coat, And I shrew him that would for thee be sorry, To see thee well curried by and by; And, by Christ, if any man would it do, I myself would help thereto.

For a man may see, thou wh.o.r.eson goose, Thou wouldest lese thine a.r.s.e, if it were loose!

Albeit I would never the deed believe, But that the thing itself doth show and preve.[194]

There was never ape so like unto an ape, As he is to me in feature and shape; But what woll my master say, trow ye, When he shall this gear hear and see?

Will he know me, think you, when he shall see me?

If he do not, another woll as good as he.

But where is that other I? whither is he gone?

To my master, by c.o.c.k's precious pa.s.sion: Either to put me out of my place, Or to accuse me to my master Bongrace!

But I woll after, as fast as I can flee: I trust to be there as soon as he.

That if my master be not ready home to come, I woll be here again as fast as I can run.

In any wise to speak with my mistress, Or else I shall never escape hanging doubtless.

DAME COY.

I shall not sup this night, full well I see; For as yet n.o.body cometh for to fet me.

But good enough, let me alone: I woll be even with them every-chone.

I say nothing, but I think somewhat, i-wis: Some there be that shall hear of this!

Of all unkind and churlish husbands this is the cast, To let their wives sit at home and fast; While they be forth, and make good cheer: Pastime and sport, as now he doth there.

But if I were a wise woman, as I am a mome, I should make myself, as good cheer at home.

But if he have thus unkindly served me, I woll not forget it this months three; And if I wist the fault were in him, I pray G.o.d I be dead, But he should have such a curry,[195] ere he went to bed, As he never had before in all his life, Nor any man else have had of his wife!

I would rate him and shake him after such a sort, As should be to him a corrosive full little to his comfort!

ALLISON TRIP-AND-GO.

If I may be so bold, by your mistress-s.h.i.+p's license, As to speak and show my mind and sentence, I think of this you may the boy thank; For I know that he playeth you many a like prank, And that would you say, if you knew as much as we, That his daily conversation and behaviour see; For if you command him to go speak with some one, It is an hour, ere he woll be gone; Then woll he run forth, and play in the street, And come again, and say that he cannot with him meet.

DAME COY.

Nay, nay, it is his master's play: He serveth me so almost every third day; But I woll be even with him, as G.o.d give me joy, And yet the fault may be in the boy-- As ungracious a graft, so mot I thrive, As any goeth on G.o.d's ground alive!