Volume I Part 67 (1/2)

PARDONER. Sir, ye seem well-seen in women's causes!

I pray you tell me what causeth this: That women, after their arising,[410]

Be so long in their apparelling?

PEDLAR. Forsooth, women have many lets, And they be masked in many nets: As frontlets,[411] fillets, partlets,[412] and bracelets; And then their bonnets and their poignets:[413]

By these lets and nets the let is such, That speed is small when haste is much.

'POTHECARY. Another cause why they come not forward, Which maketh them daily to draw backward; And yet[414] is a thing they cannot forbear; The tr.i.m.m.i.n.g and pinning up their gear; Specially their fiddling with the tail-pin; And when they would have it p.r.i.c.ked[415] in, If it chance to double in the cloth, Then be they[416] wood[417], and sweareth[418] an oath.

Till it stand right they will not forsake it, Thus though it may not, yet would[419] they make it.

But be ye sure they do but defer it; For when they would make it, oft times mar it.

But p.r.i.c.k them and pin them as nice[420] as ye will, And yet will they look for pinning still.

So that I durst hold with you a joint, Ye shall never have them at a full[421] point.

PEDLAR. Let women's matters pa.s.s, and mark mine: Whatever their points be, these points be fine.

Wherefore, if ye be willing to buy, Lay down money, come, off[422] quickly.

PALMER. Nay, by my troth, we be like friars; We are but beggars, we be no buyers.

PARDONER. Sir, ye may show your ware for your mind.

But I think ye shall no profit find.

PEDLAR. Well, though this journey acquit no cost, Yet think I not my labour lost: For, by the faith of my body, I like full well this company.

Up shall this pack, for it is plain I came not hither all for gain.

Who may not play one day in a week, May think his thrift is far to seek.

Devise what pastime that ye think best, And make ye sure to find me prest.[423]

'POTHECARY. Why, be ye so universal, That ye can do whatsoever ye shall?

PEDLAR. Sir, if ye list for to oppose me, What I can do, then shall you see.

'POTHECARY. Then tell me this: are you perfit in drinking?

PEDLAR. Perfit in drinking? as may be wished by thinking.

'POTHECARY. Then, after your drinking, how fall ye to winking?

PEDLAR. Sir, after drinking, while the shot[424] is tinking; Some heads be swimming,[425] but mine will be sinking, And upon drinking my eyes will be pinking: For winking to drinking is alway linking.

'POTHECARY. Then drink and sleep you can well do; But if ye were desired thereto, I pray you tell me, can you sing?

PEDLAR. Sir, I have some sight in singing.

'POTHECARY. But is your breast[426] any thing sweet?

PEDLAR. Whatever my breast be, my voice is meet.

'POTHECARY. That answer showeth you a right singing man.

Now what is your will, good father, then?

PALMER. What helpeth will, where is no skill?

PARDONER. And what helpeth skill, where is no will[427]!

'POTHECARY. For will or skill, what helpeth it, Where forward knave be lacking wit[428]?

Leave off this curiosity.