Part 32 (1/2)
Richard asked for Mrs. Throckmorton when we sat down to dinner. I told him she was dining with her niece. (She had reconsidered the question of the headache, and had gone to hear more news.) The dinner was very nice, and very nicely served; but somehow, Richard did not seem to enjoy it very much, that is, not as I had been in the habit lately of seeing men enjoy their meals.
”I am afraid you are getting like Uncle Leonard, and only care about Wall-street,” I said. ”I shouldn't wonder if you forgot to order your dinner half the time, and took the same thing for breakfast every morning in the year.”
”That's just exactly how it is,” he said. ”If Sophie did not come down to my quarters every week or two, and regulate affairs a little, I don't know where I should be, in the matter of my dinners.”
”How is Sophie?” I said.
”Very well. I saw her yesterday. I went to put Charley in College for her.”
”I can't think of Charley as a young man.”
”Yes, Charley is a strapping fellow, within two inches of my height.”
”Impossible! And where is Benny?”
”At school here in town. His mother will not let him go to boarding-school. He is a nice boy: I think there's more in him than Charley.”
”And I hear Kilian is married!”
”Yes. Kilian is married--the very day you landed, too.”
”Well,” I said, with a little dash of temper, ”I'm very sorry for you all. I did not think Kilian was going to be so foolish.”
”He thinks he's very wise, though, all the same,” said Richard, with a smile, which turned into a sigh before he had done speaking.
”I do dislike her so,” I exclaimed, warmly. ”There isn't an honest or straightforward thing about her. She is weak, too; her only strength is her suppleness and cunning.”
”I know you never liked her,” said Richard, gravely; ”but I hope you'll try to think better of her now.”
”I hope I shall never have to see her,” I answered, with angry warmth.
Richard was silent, and I was very much ashamed of myself a moment after. I had meant him to see how much improved I was, and how well disciplined. This was a pretty exhibition! I had not spoken so of any one for a year, at least. I colored with mortification and penitence.
Richard evidently saw it, and felt sorry for me, for he said, most kindly,
”I can understand exactly how you feel, Pauline. This marriage is a great trial to me. I have done all I could to keep Kilian from throwing himself away, but I might as well have argued with the winds.”
”I don't care how much Kilian throws himself away,” I said, impulsively.
”He deserves it for keeping around her all these years. But I do mind that she is your sister, and that she will be mistress of the house at R----.”
There was an awful silence then. Heavens! what had I been thinking about to have said that! I had precipitated the _denouement_, and I had not meant to. I did not want to hear it that moment, if he were going to marry Charlotte Benson, nor did I want to hear it, if he were saving the old place for me. I felt as if I had given the blow that would bring the whole structure down, and I waited for the crash in frightened silence.
In the meantime the business of the table went on. I ate half a chicken croquette, and Susan placed the salad before Richard, and another plate.
He did not speak till he had put the salad on his plate; then he said, without looking at me, in a voice a good deal lower than was usual to him,
”She is not to be mistress of that house. They will live in town.”
Then I felt cold and chilled to my very heart; it was well that he did not expect me to speak, for I could not have commanded my voice enough to have concealed my agitation. I knew very well from that moment that he was going to marry Charlotte Benson. Something that was said a little later was a confirmation.
I had recovered myself enough to talk about ordinary things, and to keep strictly to them, too. Richard was talking of the great heat of the past summer. I had said it had been unparalleled in France; had he not found it very uncomfortable here in town?