Part 10 (2/2)
I said something that was inaudible to him, and he stooped a little nearer me to catch it. I made a great effort and commanded my voice and said, very low? but with an attempt to speak lightly, ”You have not made it any better, but I will forget it.”
He caught my hand for one instant, then let it go as suddenly. And neither of us could speak.
There is no position more false and trying than a woman's, when she is told in this way that a man loves her, and yet has not been told it; when she must seem not to see what she would be an idiot not to see; when he can say what he pleases and she must seem to hear only so much.
I did no better and no worse than most women of my years would have done. At last the silence (which did not seem a silence to me, it was so full of new and conflicting thoughts,) was broken by the recommencement of the music in the other room. He had taken a book in his hands and was turning over its pages restlessly.
”Why have you not danced?” he said at last, in a voice that still showed agitation.
”I have not danced because I can't, because I never have been taught.”
”You? not taught? it seems incredible. But let me teach you. Will you?
Teach you! you would dance by intention. And would love it--madly--as I did years ago. Come with me, will you?”
”Oh, no,” I said, half frightened, shrinking back, ”I am not going to dance--ever.”
”Perhaps that is as well,” he said in a low tone, meeting my eye for an instant, and telling me by that sudden brilliant gleam from his, that then he would be spared the pain of ever seeing me dancing with another.
”But let me teach you something,” he said after a moment. ”Let me teach you German--will you?” He sank down in a chair by the table, and leaning forward, repeated his question eagerly.
”Oh, yes, I should like it so much--if--.”
”If--if what? If it could be arranged without frightening and embarra.s.sing you, you mean?”
”Yes.”
”I wonder if you are not more afraid of being frightened and embarra.s.sed than of any other earthly trial. There are worse things that come to us, Miss d'Estree. But I will arrange about the German, and you need have no terror. How will I arrange? No matter--when Mrs. Hollenbeck asks you to join a cla.s.s in German, you will join it, will you not?”
”Oh, yes.”
”You promise?”
”Oh, anything.”
”Anything? take care. I may fill up a check for thousands, if you give a blank.”
”I didn't give a blank; anything about German's what I meant.”
”Ah, that's safer, but not half so generous. And yet you're one who might be generous, I think.”
”But tell me about the German cla.s.s.”
”I've nothing to tell you about it,” he answered, ”only that you've promised to learn.”
”But where are we to say our lessons, and what books are we to Study?”
”Would you like to say a lesson now and get one step in advance of all the others?”
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