Part 19 (1/2)
Regina lifted her fine eyes in sober ecstasy to the sky. ”It sounds very tempting,” she remarked, in the sweetest tones of her voice.
”And it could all be done,” Amelius proceeded, ”on five hundred a year.”
”Could it, dear?”
”I have calculated it--allowing the necessary margin--and I am sure of what I say. And I have done something else; I have asked about the Marriage License. I can easily find lodgings in the neighbourhood. We might be married at Harrow in a fortnight.”
Regina started: her eyes opened widely, and rested on Amelius with an expression of incredulous wonder. ”Married in a fortnight?” she repeated. ”What would my uncle and aunt say?”
”My angel, our happiness doesn't depend on your uncle and aunt--our happiness depends on ourselves. n.o.body has any power to control us. I am a man, and you are a woman; and we have a right to be married whenever we like.” Amelius p.r.o.nounced this last oracular sentence with his head held high, and a pleasant inner persuasion of the convincing manner in which he had stated his case.
”Without my uncle to give me away!” Regina exclaimed. ”Without my aunt!
With no bridesmaids, and no friends, and no wedding-breakfast! Oh, Amelius, what _can_ you be thinking of?” She drew back a step, and looked at him in helpless consternation.
For the moment, and the moment only, Amelius lost all patience with her.
”If you really loved me,” he said bitterly, ”you wouldn't think of the bridesmaids and the breakfast!” Regina had her answer ready in her pocket--she took out her handkerchief. Before she could lift it to her eyes, Amelius recovered himself. ”No, no,” he said, ”I didn't mean that--I am sure you love me--take my arm again. Do you know, Regina, I doubt whether your uncle has told you everything that pa.s.sed between us.
Are you really aware of the hard terms that he insists on? He expects me to increase my five hundred a year to two thousand, before he will sanction our marriage.”
”Yes, dear, he told me that.”
”I have as much chance of earning fifteen hundred a year, Regina, as I have of being made King of England. Did he tell you _that?”_
”He doesn't agree with you, dear--he thinks you might earn it (with your abilities) in ten years.”
This time it was the turn of Amelius to look at Regina in helpless consternation. ”Ten years?” he repeated. ”Do you coolly contemplate waiting ten years before we are married? Good heavens! is it possible that you are thinking of the money? that _you_ can't live without carriages and footmen, and ostentation and grandeur--?”
He stopped. For once, even Regina showed that she had spirit enough to be angry. ”You ought to be ashamed of yourself to speak to me in that way!” she broke out indignantly. ”If you have no better opinion of me than that, I won't marry you at all--no, not if you had fifty thousand a year, sir, to-morrow! Am I to have no sense of duty to my uncle--to the good man who has been a second father to me? Do you think I am ungrateful enough to set his wishes at defiance? Oh yes, I know you don't like him! I know that a great many people don't like him. That doesn't make any difference to Me! But for dear uncle Farnaby, I might have gone to the workhouse, I might have been a starving needlewoman, a poor persecuted maid-of-all-work. Am I to forget that, because you have no patience, and only think of yourself? Oh, I wish I had never met with you! I wish I had never been fool enough to be as fond of you as I am!”
With that confession, she turned her back on him, and took refuge in her handkerchief once more.
Amelius stood looking at her in silent despair. After the tone in which she had spoken of her obligations to her uncle, it was useless to antic.i.p.ate any satisfactory result from the exertion of his influence over Regina. Recalling what he had seen and heard, in Mrs. Farnaby's room, Amelius could not doubt that the motive of pacifying his wife was the motive which had first led Farnaby to receive Regina into his house.
Was it unreasonable or unjust to infer, that the orphan child must have been mainly indebted to Mrs. Farnaby's sense of duty to the memory of her sister for the parental protection afforded to her, from that time forth? It would have been useless, and worse than useless, to place before Regina such considerations as these. Her exaggerated idea of the grat.i.tude that she owed to her uncle was beyond the limited reach of reason. Nothing was to be gained by opposition; and no sensible course was left but to say some peace-making words and submit.
”I beg your pardon, Regina, if I have offended you. You have sadly disappointed me. I haven't deliberately misjudged you; I can say no more.”
She turned round quickly, and looked at him. There was an ominous change to resignation in his voice, there was a dogged submission in his manner, that alarmed her. She had never yet seen him under the perilously-patient aspect in which he now presented himself, after his apology had been made.
”I forgive you, Amelius, with all my heart,” she said--and timidly held out her hand.
He took it, raised it silently to his lips, and dropped it again.
She suddenly turned pale. All the love that she had in her to give to a man, she had given to Amelius. Her heart sank; she asked herself, in blank terror, if she had lost him.
”I am afraid it is _I_ who have offended _you,”_ she said. ”Don't be angry with me, Amelius! don't make me more unhappy than I am!”
”I am not in the least angry,” he answered, still in the quiet subdued way that terrified her. ”You can't expect me, Regina, to contemplate a ten years' engagement cheerfully.”
She took his hand, and held it in both her own hands--held it, as if his love for her was there and she was determined not to let it go.
”If you will only leave it to me,” she pleaded, ”the engagement shan't be so long as that. Try my uncle with a little kindness and respect, Amelius, instead of saying hard words to him. Or let _me_ try him, if you are too proud to give way. May I say that you had no intention of offending him, and that you are willing to leave the future to me?”
”Certainly,” said Amelius, ”if you think it will be of the slightest use.” His tone added plainly, ”I don't believe in your uncle, mind, as you do.”