Volume Ii Part 13 (2/2)

'Come, Mr. Wentworth, you are a bit of a wag, I see.'

'Not a bit of it. Never heard of Bullock Smithy in my life.'

'Why, it is a rising watering-place in Blanks.h.i.+re, and I had the public hall to lecture in, with the head notable in the chair, and all the _elite_ of the place present; and I a.s.sure you, as the _Bullock Smithy Observer_ remarks, it was quite a treat I gave 'em. ”Feast of reason, flow of soul,” they call it. I am to give 'em another lecture next summer.'

'I am delighted to hear it.'

'Yes, I knew you would be. We men of genius always recognise each other.

And now I'll tell you why I am here. I've come to offer you my services as a public speaker. I was at your meeting the other night, and I saw what was wanted immediately. ”Clever fellow,” said I to myself; ”but too modest and retiring-not enough bounce and brag to fetch the general public.” Says I to myself: ”I will do it for him; I am the boy for that kind of work; I am used to it.” Many a man has got into Parliament through me. Indeed, I have never known anyone fail who has secured my services, and you shall have 'em cheap. Five pounds for the week and board and lodging, and I make a speech for you every night. That's what I call a fair offer. You hesitate. Well, suppose we say two pounds ten.

I never made so low an offer before, but you are a man and a brother, and I would do for you what I would not do for anyone else.'

'I am afraid, Mr. Roberts,' said Wentworth-'I fear I must dispense with your services.'

'No, don't say that; don't stand in your own light, man. You don't know what you're refusing. I can almost guarantee your election. Let me begin to-night. Send the crier round to say that Mr. Roberts, the celebrated orator of the Temple Forum, will speak at your meeting. If I don't astonish 'em I'll eat my hat.' A very battered one, by-the-bye, which it would have required rather a strong stomach to digest.

'The fact is, Mr. Roberts,' continued Wentworth, 'I consider an election is purely a matter between a candidate and his const.i.tuents, and no one else has a right to interfere. I should be glad of all the local strength I could get. That would show the electors we're in earnest in the matter; but as to getting strangers down from town to dazzle the people with rhetorical fireworks, I really don't care about it. I really should not care to gain my election by such means. I think it great presumption even for a London committee, whether sitting at the Carlton or the Liberal Club, to seek to control the electors. It is something very serious to me, the freedom of election and the independence of the voters.'

'Sir, you take matters too seriously. We all know electioneering is humbug, and the biggest humbug wins.'

'I fear you and I could not agree, Mr. Roberts, and perhaps you had better take your talents to another quarter.'

'And you mean to say, then, that you have no occasion for my services?'

said the collapsing Roberts, who seemed to become smaller every minute.

'I do, indeed.'

'Then, sir, I am sorry for you,' said the indignant orator. 'I came out of friends.h.i.+p; but I am a professional man, and I shall be under the unpleasant necessity of going to some other party. I believe Sir Watkin Strahan will be only too glad of my a.s.sistance.'

'By all means try him,' said Wentworth.

And the itinerant orator retreated, having first secured a trilling loan on the plea that his journey down to Sloville had quite cleaned him out, and that he had been disappointed of a remittance.

No sooner had the orator departed than another arrival was announced.

'A gentleman from London.'

The Hon. Algernon Smithson, a fellow-member with Wentworth of the Mausoleum Club, was his name. In he rushed, protesting that he had called at the club, that he had gone to Clifford's Inn, that he had come on to Sloville, just to see how his friend was getting on.

'And is that all?' asked Wentworth.

'Well, now you mention it, I don't mind telling you,' was the reply, 'that our party are rather uncomfortable about the state of things here, and Twiss, of the Treasury, asked me if I could not have five minutes'

chat with you, and so, you see,' said the Honourable, with a jolly laugh, or, rather, an attempt at it, 'like the good-natured donkey that I am, I've let the cat out of the bag. Perhaps that is bad policy; but, then, you and I, Wentworth, are men of the world, and I like to be straightforward.'

In most quarters it was considered that the Hon. Smithson was rather a cunning old fox.

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