Part 67 (1/2)
The cup of Finnegan's bitterness was not yet filled. Stover's first act of administration was to forbid the privileges of the cold-air flues and the demon cigarette to all members of the House who had not attained, according to his judgment, either a proper age or a sufficient display of bodily stature. Among the proscribed was Dennis de Brian de Boru Finnegan, whose legs, clothed in new dignity, fairly quivered under the affront, as he tearfully protested:
”I say, d.i.n.k, it's an outrage!”
”Can't help it. It's for your own good.”
”But I'm fifteen.”
”Now, see here, Dennis,” said Stover firmly, ”your business is to grow and to be of some use. No one's going to know about it unless you yell it out, but I'm going to see that you turn out a decent, manly chap and not another Slops Barnett.”
”But you went with Slops yourself.”
”I did--but you're not going to be such a fool.”
”Why, you're a regular tyrant!”
”All right, call it that.”
”And I elected you,” said Dennis, the aggrieved and astounded modern politician. ”This is Goo-gooism!”
”No, it isn't,” said Stover indignantly. ”I'm not interfering with any fellow who's sixteen--they can do what they darn please. But I'm not going to have a lot of kids in this House starting sporting life until they've grown up to it, savez? They're going to be worth living with and having around, and not abominations in the sight of G.o.ds and men.
Pa.s.s the word along.”
The revolt, for a short while, was furiously indignant, but the prestige of Stover's reputation forestalled all thought of disobedience. In such cases absolute power is in the hands of him who can wield it, and Stover could command.
In short order he had reduced the youngsters to respect and usefulness, with the following imperial decrees:
1. All squabs are to maintain in public a deferential and modest att.i.tude.
2. No squab shall talk to excess in the presence of his elders.
3. No squab shall habitually use bad language, under penalty of an application of soap and water.
4. No squab shall use tobacco in any form.
5. No squab shall leave the House after lights without express permission.
These regulations were not simply an exercise of arbitrary authority, for in the House itself were certain elements which d.i.n.k perfectly understood, and whose spheres of influence he was resolved to confine to their own limits.
”How're you going to enforce, Sire, these imperial decrees?” asked the Tennessee Shad, who, however, thoroughly approved.
”I have a method,” said Stover, with an interior smile. ”It's what I call a Rogues' Gallery.”
”I don't see,” said the Tennessee Shad, puzzled.
”You will.”
The first rebel was a Freshman, Bellefont, known as the Millionaire Baby, who, due to a previous luxurious existence, had acquired manly practices at an early age. Bellefont was detected with the odor of tobacco.
”Young squab, have you been smoking?” said Stover.