Part 36 (1/2)

”I move the Third Triumvirate disband,” said the Tennessee Shad; and there was no objection.

”Now,” said Doc Macnooder briskly, sitting down, ”I'll put my own proposition to you amateurs. There's only one way to make the thing go, and I've got the way. I take all responsibility and all risks. All I ask is control of the stock--fifty-one per cent.”

Ten minutes later the Third Triumvirate Manufacturing Company was reformed on the following basis:

PRESIDENT Doc Macnooder, 51 shares.

ADVISORY BOARD The Third Triumvirate.

TREASURER Doc Macnooder.

PAID-UP CAPITAL

Macnooder $5.10 The Tennessee Shad 1.70 d.i.n.k Stover 1.70 Dennis de B. de B. Finnegan 1.50

”Now,” said Macnooder, when the articles were safely signed and the capital paid up, ”here's the way we work it. We've got to do two things: first, conceal the way it's done until we sell it; and second, keep those who buy from letting on.”

”That's hard,” said the Tennessee Shad.

”But necessary. I'm thinking out a plan.”

”Of course the first part is a cinch,” said Dennis. ”A few extras, etcetera, etceteray. It's putting the ribbons in the lingerie, that's all.”

”Exactly.”

”You don't think it's selling goods under false pretenses?”

”Naw,” said Macnooder. ”Same principle as the patent medicine--the only wheel that goes round there is a nice, fat temperance measure of alcohol, isn't it? We'll have the first public demonstration to-morrow afternoon. I'll distribute a few more pearls to-night. Ta, ta.”

The three sat quietly, listening to the fall of his departing steps.

”If we'd asked him in the first place,” said the Tennessee Shad, gazing out the window, ”we'd only given up twenty-five per cent.--great business head, Doc; great mind for detail.”

XIV

Macnooder, that night, formed the Eureka Purchasing Company, incorporated himself, and secured, at jigger rates, every second-hand alarm clock on which he could lay his hands--but more of that hereafter.

At five o'clock the next afternoon the combined Kennedy House packed itself into the Tennessee Shad's room, where Doc Macnooder rose and addressed them:

”Gentlemen of the Kennedy: I will only detain you an hour or so; I have only a few thousand words to offer. We are gathered here on an auspicious occasion, a moment of history--the moment _is_ historical.

Your esteemed Housemate, Mr. d.i.n.k Stover, has completed, after years of endeavor, an invention that is destined to be a household word from the northernmost wilds of the Davis House to the sun-kissed fragrance of the Green, from the Ethiopian banks of the fur-bearing ca.n.a.l to the Western Tins of Hot-dog Land! Gentlemen, I will be frank----”

”Cheese it!” said a voice.

”I will be frank,” repeated Macnooder, turning on them a countenance on which candor struggled with innocence. ”I did not wish or encourage the present method of procedure. As a member of the d.i.c.kinson House I combated the proposition of Mr. Stover and his a.s.sociates to make this invention a Kennedy House sinecure. I still combat it--but I yield. If they wish to give away their profits they can. Gentlemen, in a few moments I shall have the pleasure of placing before you an opportunity to become shareholders in one of the most epoch-making inventions the world has ever known.”

”What's it called?” said a voice.

”It's called,” said Macnooder slowly, secure now of the attention of his audience, ”it's called The Complete Sleep Prolonger. The t.i.tle itself is a promise and a hope. I will claim nothing for this wonderful little invention. It not only combats the cold, but it encourages the heat; it prolongs not only the sleep, but the existence; it will increase the stature, make fat men thin, thin men impressive, clear the complexion, lighten the eye and make the hair long and curly.”