Part 18 (1/2)
”John Humperd.i.n.k Stover,” said d.i.n.k with difficulty.
”Ah, yes, Stover: the name is familiar--very familiar,” said The Roman, with a twitch to his lip and a sudden jump of the eyebrow.
”Haven't we met before?”
d.i.n.k, suffocating, nodded. The cla.s.s, at a loss, turned from one to the other, watching for the cue.
”Well, Stover, come a little nearer. Take the seat between Stone and Straus. Straus will be better able to take his little morning nap. A little embarra.s.sed, Stover? Dear me! I shouldn't have thought that of you. Sit down now and--try to put a little ginger into the cla.s.s, Stover.”
d.i.n.k looked down and blushed until it seemed as though his hair would catch on fire. The cla.s.s, perceiving only that there was a point for laughter, burst into roars.
”There--there,” said The Roman, stilling the storm with one finger.
”Just a little joke between us two; just a little confidential joke. Now for a bee-ootiful recitation. Splendid spring weather--yesterday was a cut; of course you all took the hour to study conscientiously--eager for knowledge. Fifth and sixth rows go to the board.”
While The Roman's modulated accents doled out conjugations and declensions Stover sat, without a thought in his head, his hands locked, staring out at the green and yellow necktie that rose on Pebble Stone's collar.
”Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord!” he said at last. ”Dished! Spinked! He'll flunk me every day. I certainly am in wrong!”
He raised his eyes at the enthroned Natural Enemy and mentally threw down the gage of battle with a hopeless, despairing feeling of the three years' daily conflict that was to come. For, of course, now there could be no question of The Roman's mortal and unsparing enmity.
But after the first paralyzing shock d.i.n.k recovered himself. It was war, but the war he loved--the war of wits.
The Roman, having flunked a dozen by this time, had Channing, the Coffee-colored Angel, on his feet, on delicate matters of syntax.
”Top of page, third word, Channing--gerund or gerundive?” said The Roman.
”Gerund, sir.”
”Too bad!” said The Roman musically, and on a lower octave repeated: ”Too bad! Third line, fifth word--gerund or gerundive?”
”Gerund, sir,” said the Coffee-colored Angel with more conviction.
”No luck, Channing, no luck. Tenth line, last word--gerund, Channing, or gerundive?”
”Gerund-ive,” said the Coffee-colored Angel hesitatingly.
”Poor Channing, he didn't stick to his system. The laws of probability, Channing----”
”I meant gerund,” said the Coffee-colored Angel hastily.
”Dear me! Really, Channing?”
”Yes, sir.”
”Positive?”
”Absolutely, sir.”
”It _was_ the gerundive, Channing.”
The Coffee-colored Angel abruptly sat down.
”Don't want to speculate any more, Channing?”