Part 4 (1/2)

THE GREAT CHANGE

My uncle had been hectic all day. I knew and dreaded what was coming, and said nothing that by any chance could lead up to it.

He absent-mindedly tipped the emu sixpence. Then we came to the wart hog.

”A bachelor,” he said, meditatively, scratching the brute's back.

I hastily felt for a saving topic in the apprehensive darkness of my mind, and could find none.

”I expect I shall be married in October,” said my uncle. Then, sighing: ”The idyll of my engagement was short-lived.”

It was out. Now, the day--my last idle day with my poor uncle--was a hideous wreck. All the topics he had fluttered round vanished, and, cold and awful, there loomed over us the one great topic.

”What do you _think_ of marriage, George?” said my uncle, after a pause, prodding the wart hog suddenly.

”That's your privilege,” said I. ”Married men don't dare to think of it. Bigamy.”

”Privilege! Is it such a headlong wreck of one's ideals as they say?”

said my uncle. ”Is that dreamland furniture really so unstable in use?”

”Of course,” said I, ”it's different from what one expects. But it seems to be worse for the other party. At least to judge from the novels they engender in their agony.”

”So far as I can see,” he proceeded, ”what happens is very similar to a thing a scientific chap was explaining to me the other day. There are some little beasts in the sea called ascidians, and they begin life as cheerful little tadpole things, with waggling tails and big expressive eyes. They move freely about hither and thither, and often travel vast distances in an adventurous way. Then what he called metamorphosis begins. The little tadpole waggles his way to a rock and fixes himself head downward. Then he undergoes the oddest changes, becomes indeed a mere vegetative excrescence on the stone, secretes a lot of tough muck round himself, and is altogether lost to free oceanic society. He loses the cheerful tail, loses most of his brain, loses his bright expressive eye.”

”The bother of it,” said I, ”is that very often the wandering expressive eye is not lost in the human metamorphosis.”

”Putting it in another way, one might say that the kind of story that Ovid is so fond of describing, the affairs of Daphne and Io, for instance, are fables of the same thing: an interlude of sentiment and then a change into something new and domesticated, rooted, fixed, and bounded in.”

”It is certainly always a settling down,” said I.

”I don't like this idea of settling down, George.” He shuddered. ”It must be a dreadful thing to go about always with a house on your mind.”

”You get used to it. And, besides, you don't go about so much.”

He gave the bachelor wart hog a parting dig, and we walked slowly and silently through the zebra-house towards the elephants. ”Of course we do not intend to settle down,” he said presently, with a clumsy effort to render his previous remarks impersonal.

”A marriage invalidates all promises,” I explained. ”The law recognises this in the case of wills.”

”That's a new view,” he said, evidently uncomfortable about something.

”It follows from your doctrine of metamorphosis. A marries B. Then the great change begins. A gradually alters into a new fixed form, C, while B flattens and broadens out as D. It is a different couple, and they cannot reasonably be held responsible for the vagaries of A and B.”

”That ought to be better understood.”

”It would perhaps be as well. Before marriage Edwin vows to devote his life to Angelina, and Angelina vows she will devote her life to Edwin.

After marriage this leads to confusion if they continue to believe such promises. Marriage certainly has that odd effect on the memory. You remember Angelina's promises and forget your own, and _vice versa_.”

”There is no apparition more distressing than the ghost of a dead promise,” said my uncle. ”Especially when it is raised in the house of your friends.”