Part 30 (1/2)
38.
Redwall's rose-coloured sandstone walls still felt warm from the summer day's heat. Blackbirds could be heard warbling throatily in the evening's stillness. Father Abbot had gone back to his Dibbun days; he was enjoying himself down at the Abbey pond with a group of Abbeybabes. The old mouse cut a comical figure as, with his long habit rucked up, he dashed into the shallows and joined in with the fun of skipping stones, chortling happily, ”Three, four, five, look, my stone bounced six times!”
Ruggum glared at him suspiciously. ”Yurr, oi only counted foive bouncers, zurr, b'ain't that roight, Malbun, marm?”
Malbun, who was sitting on the gra.s.sy bank with Criku-lus and Memm, agreed with the infant mole. ”Aye, Rug-gum, five it was. You still hold the record for six bounces. You counted wrong, Father Abbot!”
Abbot Apodemus pulled a face that had the Dibbuns squeaking with laughter. ”You just don't want me to win the candied chestnut trifle, you old cheatbet you're going to share it with Ruggum. You're both in this together!”
Crikulus looked sternly over his gla.s.ses. ”Six bounces gets the trifle, siryours was only five. I counted 'em me-self!”
The Abbot registered an expression of comic shock. ”You're both on Ruggum's side now! Memm Flackery, tell them my stone bounced six times, please.”
The Harenurse's ears twitched. ”I certainly will not, sah! An Abbot of your age, cheatin'! What's Redwall comin' to?”
Friar Gooch solved the dispute by marching up with Furrel, his molemaid a.s.sistant, in tow. ”My candied chestnut trifle's been stolen!”
Wading out of the pond, the Abbot unhitched his wet habit. ”Are you sure you're right, Gooch, stolen?”
Furrel a.s.sisted him up the bank. ”Burr aye, zurr, ee troi-fle's bee'd stoled roight enuff. Oi see'd ee Friar putten et on ee gurt slate shelf, to let it be coolen.”
Gooch cut in, fluttering his jaws wildly. ”A moment later, there it was, gone!”
Paws akimbo, Memm stared accusingly at one or two likely Dibbun candidates. ”Own up, you villains, who's sneaked back to the kitchens instead of playin' skimmin' stones, wot?”
Kroova's head broke the surface of the pond's centre, where he had been acting as lifeguard, and swam ash.o.r.e. ”None of these liddle 'uns been away from this pond, marm, I've kept a close check on 'em since we arrived 'ere. The question ye should be askin' is, where's Scarum?”
The Abbot gaped disbelievingly at Kroova. ”Scarum? You don't mean he ...”
The otter nodded decisively. ”Aye, Scarum. As hares go, beggin' y'pardon, miz Memm, Scarum is the biggest glutton 'twixt 'ere an' the cracks o' doom. Come on, let's find 'im!”
The young hare in question was snoring in an upturned barrow at the orchard entrance. A candied chestnut was stuck to the fur between his ears, meadowcream liberally festooned his whiskers, and traces of redcurrant, black- berry, maple sponge and other trifle ingredients clung to his narrow chest and bulging stomach.
He grumbled dreamily as Kroova poked a paw into his midriff, ”Gerroff, it's all mine, go an' get your own, rotter!” Memm took the wheelbarrow and turned him out with a mighty heave. Scarum sat up, blinking.
”What 'n the name ... I say there, chaps, have a care, wot. A gentle shake's all that's needed t'wake your jolly old military commander. Ho hum, what's up with you bounders, all standin' round with faces like flippin' fried frogs?”
Memm seized his ears and hauled him upright. ”Candied chestnut trifle, sah, where is it?”
Scarum transformed into the picture of outraged innocence. ”Candied chestnut trifle, marm, what're you wafflin' on about, wot wot? Never come across one in me life, no marm!”
He winced as Kroova ripped the sticky chestnut from between his ears and stuck it on the end of his nose. Quite deliberately, the sea otter wiped cream from Scarum's whiskers and smeared it along his top lip like a moustache. Kroova brought his face close until they were eye-to-eye.
”That candied chestnut trifle, you 'orrible great food-bag. Don't tell lies, yore only makin' it worse for yoreself!”
Scarum forced a weak smile. ”Oh, that one! Well, why didn't you say, old lad? I, er, spotted it in the kitchen an' just took a small nibble, nothin' too drastic, wot.”
The Abbot stared questioningly at him. ”A small nibble?”
Scarum nodded emphatically. ”Yes, sah, barely a smidgen. Don't know what happened to the rest of the confounded trifle. 1 expect those moles guzzled it. Small types, but incredibly greedy, those molechaps, I say, what d'you think you're doin'? Yowch! Owch! Lemme go, mercy!”
Memm and Kroova had him by an ear apiece. They hauled him off to the Abbey, with Malbun giving him the dressing-down of his life, accompanied by hard paw prods.
”That trifle was to be shared out among the Dibbuns as a treat/ with the winner of the stone-skimming getting the first portion. Aren't you ashamed of yourself, depriving those poor babes of their special treat?”
Opening the Abbey door, the Abbot took charge. ”Thank you, Memm and Kroova, you may release him now. Right, master Scarum, follow me!”
The door slammed behind them. There was an awed silence as the Dibbuns stood looking at one another on the doorstep. Ruggum spoke in a hoa.r.s.e whisper. ”Boo urr, oi wunners wot zurr h'Abbot bee's goin' t'do to Scarum?”
Mousebabe Turfee had some definite views on the subject. ”Choppa off'n his tail an' baff de daylights out of him, an' make 'im go fbed for fifty 'leven days. Ho yes!”
Memm picked the mousebabe up. ”Is that all? Lettin' the cad off far too easy, if y'ask me, wot!”
Later that evening, Friar Gooch and Furrel made it up to the Dibbuns by creating another trifle and serving it out to them in the orchard. The Abbot came out to join them, gratefully accepting a bowl of the delicious trifle and a beaker of strawberry fizz. Crowding around him, the Dibbuns eagerly wanted to know what punishment had been meted out to the greedy hare. As each enquiry became more gruesome, the Abbot called for quiet.
”No, no, I never chopped off his tail or boiled him up in the soupwhat a bloodthirsty notion!”
Crikulus could no longer restrain his curiosity. ”Then how did you deal with the wretch, Father?”
Putting aside his bowl, the Abbot explained. ”Well, the first thing I did was to put him on a diet for three days only one portion of lettuce leaves and water per day. Then I locked him in the main Dibbuns' dormitory with pail, scrubber, broom and duster. Scarum must scrub the place from top to bottom, floor, walls, windows, everything. After that he must restuff all the mattresses, make up the beds with clean bed linen and wash all the old stuff. That should keep him amused!”
Opinions were divided, with Dibbuns still muttering darkly of tail chopping and soup boiling, whilst the elders nodded sagely.
Kroova smiled with satisfaction. ”Three days with just one meal a day of lettuce an' water? You'll 'ear ole Scarum yowltn' a league away!”
Looking over the top of his gla.s.ses, the Abbot agreed. ”I've no doubt we will. I've also stripped him of his command. Kroova, you'll be in charge of the wallguards. Every other beast can sleep out here in the orchard. 'Tis a fine warm night here, and out of yowling range, too.”
The Dibbuns cheered gleefully. Sleeping out in the orchard was an adventure for them. Sister Vernal, Mimsy and Memm exchanged grim looks; their night's work was cut out for them, keeping the Abbeybabes together in one place.
Dawn was well up and a fresh summer's day was under way. A needlepoint of sunlight pierced the gloom of Brock-hall. Za.s.saliss uncoiled, dealing the other two adders light blows with his blunt nose.
”Hisssst! Sssomething goesss on outsssside, let usss ssseeee!”
Kurda had chosen the skinniest, most useless-looking Freebooter, an old searat called Whidge. The remainder of the Seascab's Seascab's crew were forced to watch, helpless and unarmed, as Vorto and three Ratguards laid paws on Whidge, dragging him shrieking to an open spot within view of the door in the oak tree. When Whidge saw the stake, driven deep into the ground, with a rope collar attached to it, he dug his footpaws in and wailed aloud to his comrades, ”Don't let 'em do this t'me, mates, 'elp me, 'elp me!” crew were forced to watch, helpless and unarmed, as Vorto and three Ratguards laid paws on Whidge, dragging him shrieking to an open spot within view of the door in the oak tree. When Whidge saw the stake, driven deep into the ground, with a rope collar attached to it, he dug his footpaws in and wailed aloud to his comrades, ”Don't let 'em do this t'me, mates, 'elp me, 'elp me!”
Ablow to his jaw from Vorto's spearb.u.t.t knocked the old searat senseless. Ratguards menaced the Freebooters with their spearpoints as Kurda addressed them warningly.
”Dat von is old and useless. Anybeast tryink to rescue 'im vill take his place, yarr?”
Cowed and leaderless, they hung their heads in silence. Vorto swiftly bound Whidge's paws together and tightened the rope halter at the back of the searat's neck, where he could not reach it. Riggan signaled everybeast back to the cover of the undergrowth where Vorto placed two Rat-guards with each group of Freebooters. They held the crewbeast's weapons, ready to distribute at a nod from their captain, while Kurda took to a high fernbed, where she crouched with Vorto and Riggan on either side of her. The Pure Ferret could see the door from her vantage point. She drew her sabre.
”Und now ve haff only to vait!”
From his spyhole behind the door, Za.s.saliss and the other two snakes had seen all that went on. Sesstra hissed softly, ”They leave ussss food, they fear usssss!” Her brother Harssacss flickered his tongue sensuously.
”Brother Za.s.saliss, doessss not the ssssight of food make usssss ravenousssss?”