Part 21 (2/2)
”Too loud!” she hissed.
”Sorry.” I sat on my heels on the floor so I could look up at her face. I took her hand. She tried to pull it away and then let it rest in mine, unresponsive.
”Toni,” I said.
”Toni!”
”Too loud!”
”Look, it doesn't make any difference if you lock me in your bathroom. Or if I sleep under the bed. One night doesn't matter. We've got us ten thousand coming up.”
”Are you out of your mind?”
”I told you, I'm not sure. How can we help not get married, Toni?”
”How can we help... what?”
”It's an accomplished fact, anyway. So they stamp a paper for us for the file. Toni, Toni.”
She yanked her hand away.
”Whatever this is, it isn't funny, Mr. Sewell.”
”I know it isn't funny. Toni, I started at the wrong place. I'm disorganized. Let's start at a standard place. I love you.”
”Oh sure,” she said dubiously.
”All of a sudden. You just sat there, all of you, perfectly miraculous, and it came to me, like it fell on my head.”
”This is all just because...”
I rocked back on my heels.
”Just because I'm going to stay here? It's a fat line. I tell it to all the girls who hide me from the cops. You haven't got any fire around here I can hold my hand in. I've outgrown crossing my heart and spitting. About the only way I can show sincerity is to go trudging out of here. Bake me a cake and bring it to the dungeon. They can't electrocute Sewell. He has to get married. Suddenly I'm confident. Even Kruslov loves me.”
I unlocked the door, opened it and started down the hall. She caught my arm with astonis.h.i.+ng strength and whirled me around. Her face was like chalk. She got me back into the room, locked the door, leaned against it and closed her eyes. Her color came back slowly. She opened her eyes and looked at me. She looked at me steadily and for a long time. I looked back. I looked back until the room misted out and there was nothing there but her eyes.
She reached me in three small fragile steps.
”True?”
she whispered.
”True,” I said.
She put her hands on my shoulders. I didn't touch her. She put her head a little on the side, still looking, still cautious, still tentative. She put her lips evenly, steadily against mine-firm-soft, warm-cool. All her vulnerability, so sweet you could cry. She was something in my arms.
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