Part 38 (2/2)

Terri laughed. ”You're in love with him. If he's in love with you-”

”I told you-I have no idea what Ben feels for me. Mostly, I think he feels grateful.”

”Yeah, I imagine he does.”

A noise came from behind them. Autumn turned at the sound of a familiar deep voice.

”I'll always be grateful for what you did, Autumn.” Ben stood beside her, his dark eyes soft on her face. In the noisy room, she hadn't heard him walk up to the table. ”But grat.i.tude isn't all I feel for you. I'm in love with you, Autumn. I have been for a very long time.”

Autumn's heart twisted. It wasn't true. She didn't dare let herself believe it. ”I-I suppose you might think something like that. Love and grat.i.tude...they can get mixed up in your head. In time-”

”Time won't change the way I feel. I love you and I want you to marry me. I didn't plan to ask you standing in the middle of O'Shaunessy's but I heard what you said and I can see that if I don't ask now, I might not get another chance. I love you. Say you'll marry me, Autumn.”

Autumn stared at him as if she couldn't have heard him correctly. Part of her had longed to have him say those words. Another part thought of her father and mother and how terrible their marriage had been, thought of Steven Elliot and how she had been stupid enough to believe he loved her and wound up with a broken heart. She remembered how women loved Ben and how he was sure to get tired of her and move on to someone else.

Tears filled her eyes as she stood up from the table and looked into his beloved face. ”I can't marry you, Ben. It would never work out. Surely you can see that.” She cast a desperate glance at the door. ”I have to go now. I have to leave.” And then she was running, brus.h.i.+ng past busy tables, hurrying toward the door leading out to the street.

She could hear Ben calling her name from somewhere behind her, but she didn't stop. Tears blurred her vision, but she just kept running, frantic to escape. As she raced along the sidewalk, she was terrified Ben would follow, but when she glanced back, she saw him standing on the corner staring after her, a grim look on his face.

It was over. She had known it the moment they had left the tiny log cabin on Angel's Peak. It was over-even if Ben wasn't ready to accept it.

Ben jammed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and watched the woman he loved running for her life to escape him. He hadn't seen Autumn in what seemed like forever but was only a little over two weeks. There had been so much to do, so much to take care of.

As soon as he had arrived back in Seattle with Molly, he had phoned Joanne. He'd asked to speak to John, afraid of what the shock of finding Molly alive might do to her mother. He had trusted John to gently break the news, to warn Joanne that Molly had been found and that Ben was bringing her home.

Joanne had been weeping when she finally came on the line.

”Is it true? Tell me it's really true.”

”It's true, Joanne. I'm bringing our little girl home.” He went on to explain that Molly had few memories of the family she had been stolen away from, but in time that would change.

”She'll need our help,” Ben said. ”Along with Katie's and John's.” And Autumn's, he had thought.

He looked up the crowded street, watched her disappear among the throng of people on the sidewalk, knew she was making her way back to the safety of her condo. He should have known she would run. She was afraid to trust him with her future, afraid to take a chance on making a life with him.

Afraid to believe in happily every after.

Ben wasn't afraid. The only thing he was afraid of was that Autumn wouldn't be able to trust him enough for their marriage to work. That was the reason he had let her go. He needed her to be sure of him, certain of his commitment to her and the future they would make together.

It was the only way their marriage could succeed.

Ben sighed as he started along the street on his way back to his apartment. He would give her some time, let her mull over what he had said, then try again.

He wasn't about to give up-not yet. But neither could he marry a woman who wasn't able to trust him. And there was only so much he could do.

He remembered the incredible confidence it had taken for her to guide him to the top of Angel's Peak. If only she had that kind of confidence in herself as a woman. If only she knew how much he needed her, how much he loved her.

If only Autumn realized that with her in his life, he would never stray.

Two days pa.s.sed but Autumn didn't hear from Ben. By now, he had surely come to his senses, realized how foolish it was for a man like him to think of marriage. Ben could never be happy with only one woman. Why should he be, when women threw themselves at him on a daily basis?

Sitting in her condo, Autumn stared dully out at the city. It was raining today, damp, dark and dismal. Exactly the way she felt.

G.o.d, loving someone hurt. She ached with a physical pain that crushed down on her like a heavy stone and yet she knew if she weakened it would only get worse. She told herself eventually she would get over it. Relations.h.i.+ps ended all the time.

And in truth, they had never had a real relations.h.i.+p. A wild physical attraction to each other, yes. But aside from that, they were just two people thrown together in a desperate situation, two people searching for a lost little girl.

Autumn thought of Molly and a brief, sad smile touched her lips. Molly and Katie were wonderful children. Being part of their lives would be a privilege.

She couldn't risk it. Katie had suffered one broken home. Molly had known even worse.

She dragged herself up from the sofa, barely able to make her feet move toward the kitchen. A good strong cup of tea would make her feel better. In less than a month, school would start and working again was bound to help keep her mind off Ben.

She was reaching for the teapot when the intercom buzzed. ”It's your pop,” said a familiar voice coming from the lobby. ”Let me in.”

She pressed the b.u.t.ton to admit him though she didn't really want to see him. A few minutes later, Max walked into the condo.

”Where the h.e.l.l have you been?”

She couldn't look at him. Didn't dare. ”Hi Dad.”

”I asked you a question.” He was furious. She hadn't seen him this angry in years.

”I...ah...I've been a little under the weather.”

”Is that so? I've been calling for the last five days. You never returned even one of my calls.”

”Like I said-”

”That's a load of bull and we both know it. What happened between you and McKenzie? It was all over the news, you and him finding his daughter. You two break up?”

She set the teapot on the stove and turned on the heat, hoping he wouldn't notice her hand was trembling. ”I guess you could say that.”

”What happened?”

She turned to face him. ”Look, Dad, I appreciate your concern, but this really isn't any of your business.”

His mouth flattened out. ”Well, little girl, I'm making it my business. I've never seen you look at a man the way you looked at Ben. I figure you're bad in love with him. Thing is, I think he's in love with you just the same. Now tell me what the h.e.l.l is going on.”

She tried not to tear up, but she couldn't help it. ”I fell in love with him, Dad. I didn't mean to. G.o.d, I tried so hard not to.”

”What about Ben? Looked pretty lovesick to me the night he brought you up to the hospital.”

She shook her head, swallowed past the lump in her throat. ”He thinks he loves me, but...”

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