Part 45 (1/2)

_Anonymous_.

BABY AND MARY

Baby sat on the window-seat; Mary pushed Baby into the street; Baby's brains were dashed out in the ”arey”; And mother held up her forefinger at Mary.

_Anonymous_.

THE SUNBEAM

I dined with a friend in the East, one day, Who had no window-sashes; A sunbeam through the window came And burnt his wife to ashes.

”John, sweep your mistress away,” said he, ”And bring fresh wine for my friend and me.”

_Anonymous_.

LITTLE WILLIE

Little Willie hung his sister, She was dead before we missed her.

”Willie's always up to tricks!

Ain't he cute? He's only six!”

_Anonymous_.

MARY AMES

Pity now poor Mary Ames, Blinded by her brother James; Red-hot nails in her eyes he poked,-- I never saw Mary more provoked.

_Anonymous_.

MUDDLED METAPHORS

_By a Moore-ose Melodist_

Oh, ever thus from childhood's hour, I've seen my fondest hopes recede!

I never loved a tree or flower That didn't trump its partner's lead.

I never nursed a dear gazelle, To glad me with its dappled hide, But when it came to know me well, It fell upon the b.u.t.tered side.

I never taught a c.o.c.katoo To whistle comic songs profound, But, just when ”Jolly Dogs” it knew, It failed for ninepence in the pound.

I never reared a walrus cub In my aquarium to plunge, But, when it learned to love its tub, It placidly threw up the sponge!

I never strove a metaphor To every bosom home to bring But--just as it had reached the door-- It went and cut a pigeon's wing!