Part 41 (1/2)

Wherein did the deceased Akhoond of Swat Kotal's lamented Moolla late, As it were, emulate?

Was it in the tented field With crash of sword on s.h.i.+eld, While backward meaner champions reeled And loud the tom-tom pealed?

Did they barter gash for scar With the Persian scimetar Or the Afghanistee tulwar, While loud the tom-tom pealed-- While loud the tom-tom pealed, And the jim-jam squealed, And champions less well heeled Their war-horses wheeled And fled the presence of these mortal big bugs o'

the field?

Was Kotal's proud citadel-- Bastioned, and demi-luned, Beaten down with shot and sh.e.l.l By the guns of the Akhoond?

Or were wails despairing caught, as The burghers pale of Swat Cried in panic, ”Moolla ad Portas”?

--Or what?

Or made each in the cabinet his mark Kotalese Gortschakoff, Swattish Bismarck?

Did they explain and render hazier The policies of Central Asia?

Did they with speeches from the throne, Wars dynastic, Ententes cordiales, Between Swat and Kotal; Holy alliances, And other appliances Of statesmen with morals and consciences plastic Come by much more than their own?

Made they mots, as ”There to-day are No more Himalayehs,”

Or, if you prefer it, ”There to-day are No more Himalaya”?

Oi, said the Akhoond, ”Sah, L'etat de Swat c'est moi”?

Khabu, did there come great fear On thy Khabuldozed Ameer Ali Shere?

Or did the Khan of far Kashgar Tremble at the menace hot Of the Moolla of Kotal, ”I will extirpate thee, pal Of my foe the Akhoond of Swat”?

Who knows Of Moolla and Akhoond aught more than I did?

Namely, in life they rivals were, or foes, And in their deaths not very much divided?

If any one knows it, Let him disclose it!

_George Thomas Lanigan_.

RUSSIAN AND TURK

There was a Russian came over the sea, Just when the war was growing hot; And his name it was Tjalikavakaree- Karindobrolikanahudarot- s.h.i.+bkadirova- Ivarditztova Sanilik Danerik Varagobhot.

A Turk was standing upon the sh.o.r.e-- Right where the terrible Russian crossed, And he cried: ”Bismillah! I'm Ab-El Kor- Bazarou-Kilgonautosgobross- Getfinpravadi- Kligekoladji Grivino Blivido- Jenikodosk!”

So they stood like brave men long and well; And they called each other their proper names, Till the lockjaw seized them, and where they fell They buried them both by the Irdesholmmes Kalatal.u.s.tchuk Mischtaribusiclup- Bulgari- Dulbary- Sagharimsing.

_Anonymous_.

LINES TO MISS FLORENCE HUNTINGDON

Sweet maiden of Pa.s.samaquoddy, Shall we seek for communion of souls Where the deep Mississippi meanders, Or the distant Saskatchewan rolls?

Ah no,--for in Maine I will find thee A sweetly sequestrated nook, Where the far-winding Skoodoowabskooksis Conjoins with the Skoodoowabskook.