Part 21 (1/2)

FERDINANDO AND ELVIRA, OR THE GENTLE PIEMAN

”Love you?” said I, then I sighed, and then I gazed upon her sweetly-- For I think I do this sort of thing particularly neatly--

”Tell me whither I may his me, tell me, dear one, that I may know-- Is it up the highest Andes? down a horrible volcano?”

But she said, ”It isn't polar bears, or hot volcanic grottoes, Only find out who it is that writes those lovely cracker mottoes.”

Seven weary years I wandered--Patagonia, China, Norway, Till at last I sank exhausted, at a pastrycook his doorway.

And he chirped and sang and skipped about, and laughed with laughter hearty, He was wonderfully active for so very stout a party.

And I said, ”Oh, gentle pieman, why so very, very merry?

Is it purity of conscience, or your one-and-seven sherry?”

”Then I polish all the silver which a supper-table lacquers; Then I write the pretty mottoes which you find inside the crackers.”

”Found at last!” I madly shouted. ”Gentle pieman, you astound me!”

Then I waved the turtle soup enthusiastically round me.

And I shouted and I danced until he'd quite a crowd around him, And I rushed away, exclaiming, ”I have found him! I have found him!”

_W.S. Gilbert_.

GENERAL JOHN

The bravest names for fire and flames, And all that mortal durst, Were General John and Private James, Of the Sixty-seventy-first.

General John was a soldier tried, A chief of warlike dons; A haughty stride and a withering pride Were Major-General John.

A sneer would play on his martial phiz, Superior birth to show; ”Pis.h.!.+” was a favorite word of his, And he often said ”Ho! Ho!”

Full-Private James described might be, As a man of mournful mind; No characteristic trait had he Of any distinctive kind.

From the ranks, one day, cried Private James, ”Oh! Major-General John, I've doubts of our respective names, My mournful mind upon.”

”A glimmering thought occurs to me, (Its source I can't unearth), But I've a kind of notion we Were cruelly changed at birth.”

”I've a strange idea, each other's names That we have each got on.

Such things have been,” said Private James.

”They have!” sneered General John.

”My General John, I swear upon My oath I think it is so--”

”Pis.h.!.+” proudly sneered his General John, And he also said ”Ho! ho!”