Part 16 (1/2)

BLANCHE. What did you get, Mr. Warden?

WARDEN. Three copies of ”David Harum,” two umbrellas, and a cigar case too short for my cigars.

MISS G.o.dESBY. Give it to me for cigarettes.

WARDEN. It's too long for cigarettes. Then I had something that's either a mouchoir or a handkerchief case, or for neckties, or shaving papers, or something or other.

TROTTER. Yes, I know, I got one of those, too.

DR. STEINHART. So did I!

BLANCHE. I must start the women; we are coming back here to arrange a surprise for you men.

[_She nods her head in signal to_ STERLING, _and rises. All rise._

STERLING. One moment please. One toast on Christmas night! Ned, give us a toast.

ALL THE WOMEN. [_But not in unison._] Oh, yes! A toast! [_Ad lib._]

WARDEN. [_Holding up his gla.s.s._]

Here's to those whom we love! And to those who love us! And to those who love those whom we love And to those who love those who love us!

ALL THE MEN. [_Not in unison._] Good! Bravo! Bully toast! [_Ad lib._]

[_Every one drinks._

BLANCHE. One more toast, d.i.c.k. [_To the others._] Christmas Day is our boy's birthday.

RUTH. Surely! a toast to Richard!

STERLING. Long life to Master Sterling, the best boy in the world, and to all his good friends at this table.

THE MEN. Hear! Hear!

[_All the women speak their next speeches at the same time._

BLANCHE. [_Laughing._] Of course! I've dropped my handkerchief.} } [NED _dives under the table for it._ } } MISS SILLERTON. O dear, my fan! } } MISS G.o.dESBY. What a bore! I've dropped a glove! } } [STEINHART _goes under the table for it._ } } CLARA. Both my gloves gone--I'm so sorry! } } [G.o.dESBY _goes under the table for them._ } } MRS. HUNTER. d.i.c.k, please, I've dropped my smelling bottle. } [ALL } _together_]

[TROTTER _and_ STERLING _go under the table for it._ } } RUTH. My gloves, please, I'm so sorry! } } [MASON _goes under the table for them._ } } [_The speeches of the women are simultaneous, followed } by the movements of the men also, all at the same time._ }

BLANCHE. Please don't bother; the servants--

LEONARD, JORDAN _and, two extra men start to hunt under the table, too._

MISS G.o.dESBY. Women ought to have everything they own fastened to them with rubberneck elastics.

[_The men, somewhat fl.u.s.tered, all rise with the various articles, and offer them to their respective owners._

[_All the women thank the men profusely, and apologize at the same time._ STERLING _takes_ MRS. HUNTER _out at back, followed by all the other couples, all talking._ RUTH _and_ MASON _lag behind._