Part 2 (1/2)

Scratch (aside) I don't know what to say to him.

Albert You seem to me to have the air of one of those rogues who prowl around to rob houses at night.

Scratch You don't know me, sir. I have other things on my mind. While Fortune prevents me from having wealth, it has given me marvelous secrets for curing ills. I amuse myself by seeking medicinal herbs around here.

Albert (surprised) Medicinal herbs?

Scratch Yes, sir. All my life, I've made a profession of chemistry. As sure as you see me, there are no diseases I cannot cure--stone, coughs, vertigo, hysteria, heart disease, cancer. I've even been accused of using magic. The only thing I lack is a degree to make me the happiest physician living.

Albert Your clothes are not those of a physician.

Scratch Clothes don't make the science. And if I were not reduced to be a valet, and if I had not had a fight with the squire of my parish-- (mysteriously) But, one day you will see innocence triumph.

Albert You say you have--?

Scratch See the slander! One day, finding myself on a long journey, traveling third cla.s.s, and twilight falling--I saw a certain coach stuck in the mud in a ditch, and a man in need of help. So I approached. And, to ease the weight which oppressed him (the coach was on top of him), I removed the packages he was carrying. The chief of police got mixed up in it, and held me responsible for the lost packages--for an act of charity! That's why my friends advised me to leave the country.

Albert Always prudent, in cases like that.

Scratch I went to the wars, where I accomplished miracles. The Ardennes saw me withstand enemy fire. And, battling one day against the enemy, one day all by myself--at Milan--I almost paid with my life. Do you know, sir, I was in Cremona?

Albert I believe you. But, after all your famous exploits, what do you want from me?

Scratch What do I want?

Albert (peremptorily) Yes.

Scratch Nothing. I believe one doesn't have to have any special reason to take a walk, and doing so offends n.o.body.

Albert Yes, but don't stay too long. Your servant, sir.

Scratch Servant! Before leaving, tell me, if you please, sire, to whom does this country house belong?

Albert It belongs to its owner.

Scratch Oh, to be sure. You answer so cleverly, that one cannot abandon your conversation easily. We ought to go to the village together to find a place to stay. We'll be there soon.

Albert If you hurry.

Scratch (aside) This chap doesn't like conversation and answers my questions with a single word. (aloud) I will leave after asking the time.

Albert Your question is funny. You think I'm here like the dial on a clock to display the time to pa.s.sersby. Go learn it elsewhere. Don't weigh down my ear any longer. Your appearance tires me as much as your conversation. Goodbye. Good day!

(Exit Albert.)

Scratch (alone) This fellow has quite the aspect of a bear. My word, this beginning bewilders me. The old man appears to me to be a bit subject to anger.

To bring everything to fruition we may have to fight. So much the better--that's where I s.h.i.+ne, and I love to fence. But, I see my master, Mr. Worthy.