Chapter 45 - Armia’s Melancholy (1/2)

—Armia—

「Hahh- Hahh- I, why did I…」

A few minutes after I was agitated and ran away after being surprised by Raust-san who was with Zieg-san, I was breathing heavily deep in the city.

Because I came here at full speed, I was out of breath and the people around me were looking at me suspiciously.

But I couldn’t afford to care about them.

Maybe because of my lack of oxygen, but the first thing that came to my mind was the previous event, my encounter with Raust-san.

He was… the one I yearned for.

There wasn’t much, but after I went to the labyrinth with Zieg-san and Laila-san yesterday, I had some savings.

Since that time, I tried to find Raust-san.

Of course it was to give what I have in hand to Raust-san.

But the unexpected meeting made me flustered.

When I met Raust-san, I had pictured in my mind over and over again how I should apologize or how I should show my intention to atone to him, because of that, when I met with an unexpected situation, I fell into a panic.

………And then, I had run away from that place.

If, from the beginning, I was aware that Raust-san was there, then I wouldn’t have panicked.

At that time, however, I was too focused at Zieg-san as I was angry at him who told me I would be excluded from the phoenix subjugation quest.

To not bring a rearguard just like me to fight a phoenix was nothing but suicide.

「…Why, why did I do that…」

……However, I regretted so greatly for acting based on emotion.

I was no longer angry with Zieg-san.

It was just, I just felt I have to do that.

「What to do- What to do-」

And then that regret changed to frustration, I was unconsciously muttering those words.

Atoning to Raust-san, that was my top priority.

Nevertheless, having committed such a blunder, I strongly reproached myself.

「…More failure is not allowed.」

And, while holding that feeling, I muttered those words.

Because, my existence had no value anymore other than to atone to Raust-san.

And now, no one would atone together with me.

Those people betrayed me, and ran away……

「Ughh!」

Right when I thought that, I felt nauseous.

I rushed into an alley, out of public eyes, while holding my mouth.

「Guh…」

In the end, I didn’t vomit the content of my stomach, but the horrible feeling still didn’t go away.

The words I told Sword of Lightning, the invitation to atone together.

It wasn’t something I said without thinking.

Even I already knew that Sword of Lightning hadn’t consisted of good people.

And when I entered Laila-san’s party, knowing that I didn’t have to work and struggle from the bottom, I felt troubled.

——However, the fact that I became a first-class adventurer by being invited into Sword of Lightning never disappear from inside me.

That was a big deal for me.

Until then, I was someone at the bottom, but Sword of Lightning raised my standing like that.

Regardless of their true intentions.

So, I decided to start again from the bottom to return the favor to Sword of Lightning.

…But my feelings were trampled in the worst way.

「Why…」

Every time I thought about that time, I felt like covered in something murky.

Like the stagnant feeling coagulated to become something black.

「…I have no time to think about this.」

I tried to look away from that feeling.

Somehow, by being obsessed with having to atone.

「Hahh~ I finally found you.」

「………Huh?」

The next moment, my thought was interrupted by a familiar voice in the alley that was supposed to not have anyone around.

I raised my face in the direction the voice came from.

「Narsena…san?」

——And, dumbfounded, I murmured the name of the person standing there.

◇ ◆ ◇

A few minutes after meeting Narsena-san, I was taken to an unpopular vacant lot.

On the way, she didn’t say anything at all.

I could imagine what she would do to me.

…Narsena-san is, probably trying to get back at me.

Narsena-san was famous in the Adventurer guild for being Raust-san’s lover.

Also, Narsena-san didn’t allow anyone who wronged her lover, Raust-san.

A girlfriend like that wouldn’t have forgiven someone like me.

I didn’t know what she would do now, but I was sure it wouldn’t end peacefully.

But even when I knew that, I didn’t lose my composure.

I knew it was a matter of course to be punished.

Regardless of what was done by anyone, it was a punishment.

…However, contrary to my expectation, after we arrived at the vacant lot, Narsena-san just sat on the stone and didn’t do anything.

She just turned her eyes with an inquiring look at me.

「…Are you not going to do anything?」

Seeing her acted like that, I unintentionally asked that.

「I just come to give a piece of advice.」

「……Huh?」