Chapter 14 - Raust’s Past III (1/2)

—Raust—

I didn’t remember why I ran toward the goblins flock.

…… No, even if I knew, I probably wouldn’t understand why I started running.

Though, it was probably because the image of that girl dying overlapped with the image of the kids in the orphanage.

I thought I would have some value if I sacrificed my life for the sake of saving a noble.

I just hated my existence, maybe I ran to die?

Or was that for an entirely different reason?

That reason might exist deep inside my mind.

But I clearly was not aware of such reason when I started running.

My emotion was controlled by the messed up feeling inside my chest.

「Fuhahahaha! This is my revenge! My revenge on the ruler of this world!」

「Damn you!」

…… In the carriage that was attacked by the goblins, the situation had become to the man who looked to be the girl escort being killed as he yelled in frenzy, even so, my memory of an event that should be shocking like that was vague.

By that time, my emotion was terribly grim.

The hatred for this word that didn’t accept me, the anger for my own existence which was unacceptable by anyone.

Those emotions became one in me, and I no longer knew exactly what I felt.

「Uwahhhhh!」

「Gyeeeeee!」

…… Then, I attacked the goblin, with my dagger stabbing the rearmost goblin as the signal, the battle of the goblins and me started.

◆ ◆ ◇

I didn’t remember the detail of my battle with the goblins.

I only remembered trying to draw away the goblins’ attention from the girl.

I didn’t know when they would come, but I believed there would be knights that would help the girl and my task was to stall for time.

The only thing left in my head was me trying to evade all the goblins’ attack while running around laughing to provoke them.

I didn’t remember much after that.

「Here, is……?」

When I came to, I was lying down in a place that looks like a room.

With my sluggish body and still a bit hazy consciousness, I looked around the room for a while.

「Ahh, you’re awake!」

「……Ah-」

… When I saw the beautiful blonde girl beside me, I remembered about the goblins.

Apparently, I have survived.

I didn’t remember it clearly, but even though I should be full of injury and obviously fatal wound, there was none of that on my body now.

The only one who could do that was either a healer of a first-class party or healer that achieved knighthood.

I managed to stall until the knights came, and survived that way.

「……Haha.」

… However, what I felt in my chest was not joy.

I checked my body over and over again to make sure there wasn’t any injury and then let out a dry laugh.

At that time, what I felt in my chest was not a relief for being alive, but a sense of inferiority towards the knight’s healers whose ability far surpassed mine.

If only my ability is as much as one of their healers who treated me, I might be able to save my comrades, such thought couldn’t leave my head.

「You’re really amazing! That’s so, so, so cool! I really appreciated your help! Thank you!」

「… There is no such thing.」

「……Huh?」

…… Precisely because I was thinking that, I reacted strongly to the girl’s words.

Immediately after I said that, I felt irritated.