Part 2 (1/2)

This resentment was still churning in his mind long after Jess had kissed him goodnight and switched off the light. It was three days now since the Amba.s.sador's party during which Julius had succeeded in avoiding Marybeth, having lied on the telephone that feeling sick was his reason for not going to her apartment that night. Now he was there, determined to break it off for good between them. Marybeth's face crumpled when he finished speaking, and she turned away from him. Her shoulders began to heave. 'It's all lies,' she finally croaked. 'No it isn't,' he replied patiently. 'I checked. I sent a wire to a guy I know in the Toronto Emba.s.sy and he confirmed all that Zwicke said.' 'Who was that?' 'Orin Bates. Remember him?' She did, only too well. 'So I guess that's it.' Marybeth crossed to a decanter of scotch and poured herself one, her hands shaking violently. When she drank some of the liquor ran down her chin. 'Don't go, please, Julius?' she pleaded. He shook his head. 'Zwicke called you a floozie, and you've certainly acted like one. h.e.l.l, I don't want to sound self righteous here, I'm not exactly as pure as the driven myself. I certainly have no objections to a girl havin' had a bit of experience in her past, that's only to be expected, but I'm not datin' what amounts to a G.o.dd.a.m.n amateur wh.o.r.e.' Marybeth's expression was stricken, her entire body now starting to shake. 'It wasn't like that, Julius. I swear.' 'Then what was it like?' She had another gulp of scotch. 'I was young, wild. None of it mattered, not to me anyhow. I was simply havin' a good time, enjoyin' myself.' 'Enjoyin' yourself?' He laughed cynically. 'More than that, Marybeth, far more. Half the guys in the Emba.s.sy I'm told, 248 Moonlit Eyes young and old, includin' the Amba.s.sador. That's not enjoyin' yourself, that's being' the easiest lay around. A piece ofgoodtime meat for whoever happens along.' He paused to draw breath, his emotions a combination of anger and total contempt. And I want none of you.' The tears were now freely flowing down Marybeth's face, her body continuing to shake. 'I love you, Julius. I swear to G.o.d I do. I want to marry you, settle down and have your children.' He'd always thought Marybeth beautiful, but at that moment she was as ugly as sin. Loathing rose up inside him as he thought, pictured, what she'd been up to before they'd met. That was something he'd never, could never, forget. 'Goodbye,' he stated abruptly. She gasped when he said that, then flew across the room to grab his arm. 'Please don't go. Forgive me. Please forgive me!' He tried to push her off but she clung tenaciously on, all the while making gobbling sounds similar to those made by turkeys. It was horrible. Marybeth slid down him to latch onto a leg, wrapping her arms tightly round it. 'Please, please,' she whimpered. 'Let go, Marybeth. Let go.' 'I love you, Julius. I love you so.' 'Well, I don't love you. Now let go, for Christsake! Keep a little dignity.' He somehow reached the door, although she continued to cling fiercely onto him. He hadn't known what to expect on coming to her apartment, but certainly not this. He managed to open the door then attempted yet again to prise himself free. In the end there was nothing else for it. Using the palm of his hand he smacked her hard across the face. Taken by surprise, and reeling from the force of the blow, Marybeth tumbled backwards to measure her length on the floor. Seizing his chance Julius fled, slamming the door shut behind him. A great agonised wail went up from her apartment as he hurried for the stairs, not daring to wait for the lift.

Only when he was back in the street did he stop and take a deep breath. That had been awful, simply awful. Pitiful too. He had just reached his car when the air-raid sirens, silent for the past few weeks, began to howl. Moments later the first of hundreds of German planes roared overhead, ack-ack guns simultaneously bursting into action, their fiery tracers lancing skywards. The Blitz had resumed. 250

Chapter 19

Is that you, Julius?' He looked round the kitchen, wondering where his mother's voice was coming from. 'Where are you?' 'Under the table.' He smothered a laugh to see Beulahs large and rotund posterior protruding upwards, she on all fours with her hands over her head. 'What are you doin'?' he demanded. 'What does it look like, stupid? There are bombs fallin' out there.' 'Then why not go to the shelter if you're so worried?' 'Don't give me none of your sa.s.s now. I ain't goin' to no shelter, and that's the end of it.' The house shook as a bomb fell relatively nearby. 'Holy s.h.i.+t!' Beulah exclaimed. 'That son of a b.i.t.c.h was real close.' A grim-faced Julius sat in a chair from where he could see Beulahs face. From outside came the crackle of ack-ack fire. 'You go to the shelter,' Beulah said. He didn't reply to that, having no intention of doing so. Nor was he prepared to argue about it. Leaning backwards he lit a cigarette. He wasn't being particularly brave, it was simply that he believed if your number was up then that was it no matter what.

'You drive home through the bombin'?' Beulah demanded. 'Sure did.' 'You're crazy, real crazy. Why didn't you stop somewhere and get under cover?' 'I'm under cover now,' he pointed out. Beulah pulled a face. 'There you go, sa.s.sin' me again. You know what I mean.' He sighed. 'I wasn't in the mood to spend the night with strangers. Mom. Not in the mood at all.' 'Why's that?' He drew in a deep lungful of smoke, then slowly exhaled. 'I broke up with Marybeth tonight, permanently, that's why.' Beulah studied him. 'You did, huh?' He nodded. 'Why you do that, boy? She's a good woman, that Marybeth. Good-lookin' too. I like her.' Julius took his time in replying. 'I've mentioned the guy I share an office with, Walter Zwicke?' 'A few times. You don't care for him, do you?' 'He's a creep. A total slimeball. But that's not the point. He told me somethin' the other night, all about Marybeths past, when she was in Toronto.' 'I take it from the tone of your voice it wasn't good?' He closed his eyes for a moment, wondering how much longer this raid would go on for. 'No, it wasn't,' he confirmed.

Beulah waited and waited. 'Well, are you goin' to tell me?' she finally queried. 'It'll disillusion you about her.' 'That bad, eh?' 'That bad. Mom.' 'Holy sheeet!' Beulah exclaimed as another bomb exploded, this time even closer. The lights flickered, then went out, leaving them in darkness apart from the glow off the fire. 'I nearly wet my pants there,' Beulah confessed. That made him smile, despite the danger they were in. 252 Moonlit Eyes Slowly, he began to repeat his conversation with Zwicke followed by what had taken place in Marybeth's apartment. Ellie pulled the Buick alongside the kerb when they came across the burning wreckage of one of their station's own vehicles. 'Christ!' Ellie exclaimed. 'That's Molly Davis and Pat Halfpenny's car.' Ellie and Josie Farnham scrambled out of the Buick and cautiously approached the wreckage. To their horror, Molly and Pat were clearly visible in the front seats, both dead, their bodies flaming torches. 'Oh!' Josie choked, and turned away, wondering if her colleagues had died instantly, or had been trapped alive to be burned to death. She prayed it was the former. 'We'd better get back in case it explodes,' Ellie advised sensibly.

'There's nothing we can do anyway.' 'No,' Ellie agreed, thinking, poor b.l.o.o.d.y cows. 'Pat owed me ten bob,' Ellie said huskily as they drove off down the street. 'That's one debt she won't be repaying.' Behind them the makes.h.i.+ft ambulance that was now a funeral pyre continued to burn.

The Chicory House was jam-packed, mostly with uniforms. Nor were they all British. Numbered amongst them were Free French, Polish, Czech and Belgian service men and women, all thoroughly enjoying themselves, spellbound by the music Pee Wee and the band were playing. They were in the middle of 'I'm A Ding Dong Daddy' when suddenly the scream of a descending bomb could be heard, seemingly right above them. Fear clutched at Pee Wee's heart, and his fingers momentarily faltered. Several members of the audience rose and dashed for the exits, others sat as though paralysed, looking upwards. This was it, Pee Wee thought. His time had come. It was only a few seconds, but it seemed an eternity, before the bomb exploded not far away. Dust rained down from the ceiling while gla.s.ses and tables were knocked over, some of the gla.s.ses tinkling to the floor. 'I think I'll get my a.s.s out of here,' John Parlour whispered to Pee Wee, the band having stopped playing. 'Yeah,' agreed Muggsy Young, the other member of the trio. Pee Wee took a deep breath. 'h.e.l.l no,' he stated firmly. Holding up a hand he addressed the audience. 'Listen, folks, I ain't lettin' no Germans spoil my session, and we doin' real good too. So if you'll just stay right where you are me and the boys here will get on with it. G.o.d bless Winston Churchill and the President of the United States!' A great cheer greeted that, followed by tumultuous applause. One or two of those who'd dashed for the exits returned, rather shame-faced, to their seats. 'How about a jazzed-up version of ”Rule Britannia”?' Pee Wee suggested. John Parlour laughed. 'You're crazy, man. But I love it.' Dust was still floating down from the ceiling as they swung into the new number. Despite the bombardment Jess had managed to fall asleep, albeit a fitful one. She now came awake feeling something was wrong. Reaching out she groped for Paul who should have been sleeping beside her, only he wasn't there. With a m.u.f.fled oath she threw off her blankets and came onto her knees. Paul glanced round from the side of the entrance to the shelter where he'd been sitting watching the raid. 'It's all right, Mum, I'm here,' he called to her. 'Get back inside this instant,' she commanded. Aw, Mum!' 'Get in!' The moment he obeyed she clapped him round the ear. 'What do you think you're doing?' she scolded, voice shrill with fright. 'Do you want to get yourself killed?' 254 Moonlit Eyes Paul clapped a hand over his ear, taken aback, for it was rare that either Jess or Albert hit him. 'That's sore,' he complained. 'Your backside will be a lot more so if I tell your dad what you did. You stupid child.' 'I wasn't in any harm. Mum. And you should see it out there. The sky's all lit up.' Her fury began to subside. He was safe again, that was all that mattered. 'I don't care what the sky looks like. All I know is it's full of German planes and you were in danger.' Paul was upset because he'd upset Jess. 'I'm sorry,' he mumbled, genuinely contrite. And so you should be.' Suddenly she swept him into her arms and hugged him tight. 'Oh darling,' she whispered, eyes filling with tears. 'I couldn't bear to lose you. It would break my heart.' He didn't reply to that. He didn't think he'd been in danger, but wisely didn't push the point. He was deeply touched by this show of affection from Jess, the love he felt for her swelling within him. Jess released Paul and wiped her eyes. 'Now you get back into bed and never do that again. Understand?' 'Yes, Mum.' 'Good.' She fussed with his blankets, making sure he was nicely tucked in. Bending, she pecked him on the forehead. Jess didn't get another wink of sleep for the rest of that night, her anxiety staying with her and keeping her awake. For the first time in a long while she thought about the baby she'd lost, which had caused her so much pain. 'If this blows we've all had it,' Danny McGiver said to Albert through gritted teeth, the pair of them in charge of a hosepipe pumping water into a small distillery situated in the City Road, a distillery containing huge amounts of alcohol. It had been hit by several incendiaries and was burning fiercely. In a loud clamour of noise more fire engines appeared to a.s.sist, their personnel quickly swinging into action. Elsewhere the police and ARP wardens were busily evacuating the surrounding streets. There was a great whoof of flame from the top of the building that shot a good thirty feet into the air, sparks flying in every direction. Albert winced as a falling red-hot cinder neatly sliced his cheek, blood immediately starting to flow. 'You all right?' Danny asked, having seen what had happened. Albert nodded. 'Want to go off and get it attended to?' 'Don't be daft, Danny. It's only a scratch.' Danny grinned wolfishly, that having been a joke. He knew Albert far better than that. The heat was pummelling Albert, his skin glowing with sweat underneath his tunic and protective gear, his eyes gritty and sore from continued staring into the inferno. He, like Danny and the others from their station, had been on duty for almost eighteen hours. To say they were totally exhausted would have been an understatement. Henry Leway came hurrying over. 'Water supplies are getting low. We're trying to tap into another source but having difficulty as the main access points are buried beneath rubble.' 'Christ,' Albert muttered. If they ran out of water now the building and contents would surely go up, causing utter devastation over G.o.d knew how large an area. The chances were they would also go up with it. 'Who wants to live for ever anyway?' Henry Leway said, and burst out laughing. He was known for his black sense of humour. Albert thought of Jess, Paul and Ellie, then put them quickly out of his mind. He mustn't worry about what-ifs, but continue concentrating on the job in hand. Julius stood at his office window staring out over London, or what was left of it anyway. Miraculously the Emba.s.sy hadn't 256 Moonlit Eyes been hit so far, though many of the buildings round about had. Smoke from a great many smouldering fires was rising skywards, the result of the previous night's raid, the heaviest of the war to date according to what was being said. He couldn't help but wonder if there would be anything left at all of London when this was finally over. Down below people were hurrying to and fro, going about their business as if nothing had happened. You had to admire them, he thought, you just had to. What indomitable spirit. Turning he glanced at the neighbouring empty desk, and smiled. A word in the right place, he'd been in this particular Emba.s.sy far longer than Zwicke after all, and Zwicke had been transferred to another office, without a murmur of complaint or resistance, Zwicke correctly guessing the reason why. On reflection it had probably suited Zwicke just as much as him. As fr- Marvbeth, several times she'd attempted to accost him, once he'd cut her short.

yr. would be, Hazel replied. S- ^ ar round here, highly thought of. ^ i^re for you if you needed them. The xfence meant, but real locals too. Both of Ellie, what a state she'd been in. There had he'd wanted to put his arm round her, rea.s.sure 'Not too clever I'm afraid,' Ellie replied, maneuvering the stretcher round the back of the ambulance. Moments later the stretcher had been slid aboard and Josie had gone in with it. Ellie closed the rear doors, then wiped hair that had come astray off her face. She was dead beat. 'Dad back yet?' Jess shook her head. 'What about you, when can I expect you home?' Ellie shrugged wearily. 'When I appear I suppose. That's all I can say.' Jess understood. Jess's heart sank when she saw Albert's face which was grey, sunk in on itself, and haggard. Almost stumbling to his chair he collapsed into it. 'I heard you were round at the station asking after me,' he said. 'I was worried, Albert.' He attempted a smile. 'In case I was hurt?' Or worse, she thought, giving a shrug. 'Your cheek has been cut.' He explained what had happened, and then told her about the distillery which they'd managed eventually to bring under control without it blowing up. 'I'll put something on that cut,' she declared. 'Don't fuss, woman. I'm fine.' 'But it might get infected. Just let me wash it with antiseptic.'

He sighed. 'On you go then, if it'll keep you happy.' She crossed over to the cupboard where the antiseptic and cotton wool were kept, both usually employed on Paul's various sc.r.a.pes and bruises. Albert grimaced a little when she dabbed his wound. 'Are you hungry?' 'No, we ate from the mobile canteens. All I want is a wash, change of clothes, and then over to The Florence for a few 258 Moonlit Eyes pints. After that it's bed for a couple of hours, I'm on again later.' 'You'd better have a shave as well,' she advised him. 'You're as bristly as an old broom.' Somehow he managed to laugh. 'I'd forgotten about that.' She threw the used cotton wool onto the fire. 'Just how bad was it?' He thought about that. 'As bad as it's been, maybe worse. But we didn't lose anyone, nor was anyone injured. Thank G.o.d.' 'I saw Ellie earlier on, old Ma Jenkins has been taken into hospital with a suspected heart attack. They sent Ellie's ambulance for her.' 'Sorry to hear that about Ma,' he sympathised. 'Ellie all right?' 'Tired, same as you.' Albert rubbed his forehead -- tired wasn't the word for it. And Paul?' 'Out somewhere. Well, with the school shut I can hardly keep him indoors all day. He'll be enjoying himself with his pals, probably playing a game of some sort. They're safe enough during the day when there aren't any planes about, or bombs going off.' 'Fair enough,' Albert murmured. Jess eyed him anxiously. Are you sure you don't want to go straight to bed?' He took a deep breath, then hauled himself aloft. 'Nope. I want those couple of pints. Would you like to come with me?' Jess considered his invitation. 'I'd better not. I should be here when Ellie gets in. And for Paul when he turns up.' Going to Albert she kissed his unscathed cheek. 'You've earned your drink. Get yourself ready and on over there.' Fifteen minutes later he was propping up the bar at The Florence exchanging banter with Hazel. 'You must return to the States, Mom, it's far too dangerous for you here.'

A look of defiance came over Beulah's face. Are you goin'?' 'You know I can't,' Julius protested. 'My job's in London.' 'Then I stays put, you hear? Me and Pee Wee ain't goin nowhere if it means leavin you behind.' She crossed her arms stubbornly across her ma.s.sive bosom. 'But the air raids. Mom, the bombin?' 'h.e.l.l, I ain't worried none about those. Sheet no! It takes more than a mess of German planes to scare Beulah Poston.' Julius had to smile. 'Is that why you hide under the table when an attack's takin' place?' She disregarded that jibe. 'I ain't goin', Julius. And that's that.' He'd known before speaking to her this would be the case, but had felt compelled to try to talk some sense into her. 'There's a boat leavin for Boston in three days, first-cla.s.s accommodation. I can even arrange for you to sit at the Captain's table?' Beulah snorted. Ain't tempted. Not even a little bit. Where you is, I is. OK?' He went to her and took her into his arms. 'You're incorrigible, Mom.' (T 1 I IS? 'Yes you are.' She thought about that. Ts you jos.h.i.+n' me in some way because I don't know what that means?' What a star, he smiled, as he explained it to her. 'Thanks,' Ellie said, accepting a cup of tea from Josie. 'I'm ready for this.' The too.' Ellie glanced at the clock as it chimed, and frowned. Ten o'clock and no raid so far. 'They're late,' she commented. 'Who?' 'Who do you think? The Jerries, of course.' Josie, who'd developed p.r.o.nounced dark bags under her eyes, also glanced at the clock. Before joining the auxiliaries she'd been a shop a.s.sistant in the Co-op. 'Maybe they're not coming tonight?' 260 Moonlit Eyes Ellie sincerely hoped that to be the case. It had been five nights on the trot now since the last time they'd failed to appear due to awful weather conditions over the Channel. Josie yawned. 'I'd love to get my head down.' 'Then why don't you?' There were a number of camp beds laid out at one end of the room where the girls sometimes kipped. They weren't in the least bit comfortable but no one cared a jot about that. The alternative was to doze in one of the available chairs. 'I think I will when I finish my tea.' Two new girls had joined them as replacements for Molly Davis and Pat Halfpenny, taking their predecessors' places in the nightly card game that went on when they weren't out on call. There hadn't been many games played of late. < ellie=”” lit=”” a=”” cigarette,=”” thinking=”” she=”” too=”” might=”” have=”” a=”” turn=”” on=”” one=”” of=”” the=”” camp=”” beds=”” later=”” on.=”” she=”” was=”” about=”” to=”” say=”” so=”” to=”” josie=”” when=”” outside=”” the=”” sirens=”” began=”” to=”” wail.=”” 'oh=”” well,'=”” josie=”” sighed=”” resignedly.=”” 'no=”” rest=”” for=”” the=”” wicked.'=”” 'chance=”” would=”” be=”” a=”” fine=”” thing,'=”” ellie=”” retorted,=”” and=”” they=”” both=”” grinned.=”” quarter=”” of=”” an=”” hour=”” later=”” the=”” phone=”” rang,=”” the=”” first=”” request=”” that=”” s.h.i.+ft=”” for=”” an=””>

'It's only bread and dripping I'm afraid,' Jess apologised to Paul waiting expectantly at the table. His face fell in disappointment. 'But I'm starving. Mum!' 'I'm hungry too so you're not alone,' she snapped in reply, ashamed that was all she could give the boy for his tea. Between rationing, and the price of food going through the roof, she was at her wits' end. 'My stomach's rumbling,' he complained. She was beginning to get angry now, as much with herself as him. She could always have gone next door to see if she could scrounge something from Beulah, but her pride wouldn't let her do that. If it was offered, well that was one thing, but to ask quite another. She was enough in the black woman's debt as it was. Thank G.o.d Albert and Ellie were able to get something from the mobile canteens when they were on call. She placed two slices of bread and dripping in front of Paul. 'There you are.' He eyed it with distaste, not really liking bread and dripping as his mother knew only too well. Are you sure there's nothing else?' he asked in a small voice. She fixed him with a beady glare. 'No, there isn't. And just be thankful there's that, me lad.' He bowed his head. 'Yes, Mum.' What Jess didn't tell Paul was that those were the last two slices of bread in the house. She was having to do without. Jess, clad only in her underwear, stared at herself in the wardrobe mirror. If she'd ever moaned on about carrying too much weight, then she certainly wasn't now. She was skinny as a rake, her ribs protruding in places. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, which Albert loved so much, were reduced to half the size they'd been. It filled her with despair. 'What are you doing?' Albert queried groggily from the bed, having just woken. She picked up and slipped on her dressing gown. 'Nothing.' 'You were gawping at yourself in the mirror. That's most unlike you.' She went over and sat beside him on the bed. 'I really shouldn't say anything, you and Ellie are the ones at the sharp end of all this, but I've been awfully down recently, Albert. It just seems to be getting on top of me. The bombing, the food situation, the incessant worry.' 'Oh Jess,' he whispered, reaching out and taking her hand. 'I see so little of you nowadays. You're nearly always on duty, and when you are home you're invariably asleep.' She attempted a brave smile at seeing the concern on his face. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You've got enough on your plate as it is.' He pulled himself into a sitting position and drew her to 262 Moonlit Eyes him. 'This can't last for ever, Jess, it must end one day. And when that happens we'll get back to normal, things will be just as they were. I promise you.' How safe she felt in his arms, she thought. A warm sense of peace started to steal over her. Albert began to gently rock her to and fro, wis.h.i.+ng with all his heart he didn't have to shortly return to work. But he had to, there was a war on and he was needed. 'This is nice,' she whispered. He stroked her hair, she closing her eyes in appreciation. 'I'm glad I married you, Albert Sykes. They don't come any better.' And I'm glad I married you. We've both been lucky.' She couldn't have agreed more. 'Why don't you come under the sheets and we'll cuddle up?' he suggested. She didn't need any urging, moments later they were wrapped around one another. Just like Hansel and Gretel, she thought dreamily, lost in the woods, but having each other. They remained like that until it was time for Albert to get up and go back to the station. Paul couldn't believe his eyes. What had been a warehouse was now in ruins, but there, right in the middle ofwhat remained of the building, clearly visible, was part of the fuselage from a downed German plane. And on the remnant of fuselage, small enough for him to pick up and carry, were Luftwaffe markings. Wait till he showed this to Eddy and the others, they'd be green with envy. Spitting with it. He laughed aloud as he hurriedly made for what would be a prize souvenir, far better than anything any of the other lads possessed. There were clumps of smouldering debris everywhere, and in places small fires that had started up again after the initial blaze had been put out. Paul paid no attention to any of this as he made straight for the coveted section of fuselage. Reaching the fuselage he attempted to pick it up, having to struggle as it was heavier than he'd antic.i.p.ated. He was still struggling with it when live cannon sh.e.l.ls from the stricken plane, lying buried in the smouldering and burning debris, went off. Three of the exploding sh.e.l.ls. .h.i.t Paul squarely in the back. 264

Chapter 20

That's the last one gone,' Albert declared, rejoining Jess and Ellie in their kitchen. Paul had been buried several hours earlier in Highgate Cemetery, many friends, neighbours and school chums of Paul's there to pay their respects. Afterwards quite a few of them had come back to the house. Albert now poured himself the last of the scotch, two bottles of which had been donated by Julius. Everyone had rallied round in this time of shortages; margarine, meat and cakes, not to mention bread, donated so that the wake* could be done properly. The Postons' contribution was the largest of all thanks to their Emba.s.sy connection. Jess was sitting staring blankly into s.p.a.ce, her face red raw from crying, Ellie in another chair, curled up in a foetal ball. Albert bit his lip, unsure of what to do or say next. He was in just as much shock as Jess and Ellie, but was handling it better. It had been PC McKechnie who'd broken the news, a.s.suring Jess, in that kindly way of his, that Paul had been killed outright and wouldn't have felt a thing. That had been some consolation at least. Jess shook her head. 'I still can't really take it on board,' she husked, her voice cracked and shredded from the outpourings of grief. 'I keep expecting him to walk through that door asking what's to eat as he's starving. He was always that.' Ellie sobbed and buried a clenched fist in her mouth. 'I got angry with him the day before because all I had for his tea was bread and dripping and he complained, but it was all we had. I'll never forgive myself for that. Never. His last full day on earth and I got angry with him.' 'Stop it, Jess,' Albert said, a choke now in his own voice. Jess looked at him, her eyes terrible to see. 'He was a lovely lad, wasn't he, Albert?' Albert nodded. 'I was so proud of him. A little scamp at times, but so proud of him. Since it happened I keep wondering what he would have been if he'd grown up?' Albert swallowed the contents of his gla.s.s, shuddering as it went down. 'He wanted to be an engine driver,' Ellie suddenly stated. 'He told me that once.' Albert smiled wryly. 'Most boys his age want to be that. It's one of those things.' 'I also keep wondering what his wife and children would have been like?' Jess said dully. 'Now I'll never know.' Ellie stood up, she couldn't bear any more of this. 'I'm going to my room,' she declared. 'Are you all right?' Albert queried. Of course she wasn't. She kept remembering all the times she'd been horrible to her brother. Downright nasty on occasion. Though, she reminded herself, caring and loving on others. He'd been such an irritating little sod sometimes, especially where food was concerned. No angel either, considering some of the things he'd done to her, 'I just want to be on my own for a while, Dad. Today's been . . .' She groped for a suitable word. 'Draining.' 'On you go then.' 'Don't call me for anything. I'll come back down when I'm ready.' 266 Moonlit Eyes He wished there was more scotch, gallons of the stuff. 'Right, we won't.' Jess took out a handkerchief that was already sodden and wiped her nose. She'd never been so mentally battered and bruised in her entire life, not even after losing the baby. She hadn't known the baby, whereas she'd given birth to Paul, brought him up, been through all the trials and tribulations of childhood with him. Loved him as you can only love your own flesh and blood. 'Would you like a cup of tea?' Albert asked. 'There's bound to be some left in the pot.' Jess shook her head. 'I'm awash with tea as it is.' 'Can I get you anything else then?' She looked at him, the tears having returned. 'Can you bring my son back to me?' Albert had no answer to that. None at all. 'What was it like?' Hazel asked Julius as he came up to the bar. His brown eyes were soulful. Awful, Hazel. Simply awful.' 'How are Jess and Albert?' He shrugged. As you'd expect, I guess. The pair of them must be going through absolute h.e.l.l.' She made a sympathetic face. 'Pint?' Any Ba.s.s?' 'Sorry, we're out.' 'Then a pint of whatever.' Hazel picked up a gla.s.s and began to pour. 'Was it a good turn-out at the service?' 'Certainly lots of people there.' 'I would have imagined there would be,' Hazel replied. Albert and Jess are very popular round here, highly thought of. The sort who'd always be there for you if you needed them. The salt of the earth. No offence meant, but real locals too. Both born and bred Islingtonians.' Julius thought of Ellie, what a state she'd been in. There had been times when he'd wanted to put his arm round her, rea.s.sure her. Though what he could rea.s.sure her about he didn't know. Just be a friend, he supposed. 'Are you going back to work?' Hazel inquired, making conversation.