Fleeting Midsummer Chapter 54 (1/2)

The Awkwardness Escalates (2)

In the dorm, I calmly sat down and thought, if I thought about this positively, while examining the situation, Fang Yuke had made me study English well. Maybe he had done that so we could travel across the ocean , and rest and fly together[1]. But I kept failing to understand. Immigration was something that concerned my whole family. According to logic, he should give me freedom and let me and my immediate family talk it over. I wasn’t an item that could randomly be pa.s.sed from person to person. Without even coming over to greet them, he actually expected me to migrate with his whole family.

Before that, wouldn’t we would both meet each other’s parents first? Unless right now there was still the  red clothed women, who acted like a tiny moth, still hanging around?! Thus, the possibility to migrate approached zero.

Just before I ate, I even especially put on some light makeup and a chiffon blouse I had stolen from Julie. I put on some white shorts, and then put on the high boots that I borrowed from Ah Tao. Looking in the mirror, I actually seemed a little feminine. Before one carried out a death sentence, he or she had to eat their fill and wear good clothes. Then, they would walk their last steps with dignity. Since today was our last dinner together, I would brightly and neatly walk to the end.

I still decided to eat at our usual place. I found a different place and chose a table far away from our usual table . In the past, I always shouted that I wanted to sit next to the window, selfishly hoping that everyone who saw me, would see Fang Yuke and I together. I would proclaim this in a high pitched voice, waiting for the people who were completely ignorant to take a good look. But Fang Yuke never liked sitting there. He would say it was too much like a zoo. It seemed as if people could climb in from the window to deliver food at any time. At that time, I liked to laugh at his unique thoughts. Thinking about it now, maybe he didn’t want news of our relations.h.i.+p to spread too far. So it would have ended like this sooner or later.

I was just too stupid and never understood its underlying meaning. Thinking about it, this meal was just a meeting to let him know we we were breaking up officially and how we would go our separate ways, I definitely could not cry or make an unreasonable scene. I had to leave myself a little self respect and take it out on my next life for being trampled on by misfortune. Being abandoned was very pitiful. Imploring the other person to offer comfort was even more wretched. With one sentence, I could persuade myself and manipulate my thoughts. I began to resolutely force it out of my mind. My ability to adapt and recover was really just as good as a dog’s. The moment Fang Yuke came in, he looked at the seat by the window. He looked at his watch and back at the window but he didn’t see me in the corner. I carefully sized him up. His expression was a little dispirited, almost as if he had experienced many things the past few days. His white s.h.i.+rt had many creases in it, not like his usual style. Maybe I looked at him  with too much energy, as Fang Yuke turned and managed to find me. He walked over, a little surprised and sat in front of me, appearing a little depressed.

I didn’t know what was wrong with my eyes. They suddenly felt a little moist. Seeing this clean person with clear facial features, whose face had once been messed around by me, only then did I realise that all the mental defenses I had constructed were completely useless. I had not even spoken when my heart had already been thrust into despair. It turned out that breaking up wasn’t something that was easy to say. It wasn’t something that could be packed up and thrown away according to a plan. Thus, it was good that he was leaving the country. It was only by avoiding his gaze that I could sit there unperturbed, pretending to stay strong. The two of us didn’t order a meal like we did in the past. It was probably because we understood that we did not come together to eat in the first place.

It was Fang Yuke who spoke first, “How come your phone was off two days ago?”

I replied, “I lost my phone card. I just replaced it.”

Fang Yuke looked at me suspiciously, “You didn’t lose your phone so how did you lose your phone card?”

This was indeed something very hard to explain. Common sense said that a phone and a phone card were as close to each other as a brother and a sister. If I were to explain this clearly, I would have to tell him everything that happened between w.a.n.g Yimo and Julie. This was already deviating from my main subject quite a bit. Thus, I decided to  cover this with one sentence.

I bit my lip, “This…..in any case it got lost. “

Fang Yuke stared at me, almost like he wanted to stab me, “You’re hiding something from me.”

I thought to myself, Actually you were still the one who hid more from me. Today, didn’t we get together to find out who hid more from the other person?

Fang Yuke sighed, “I know you’ve been annoyed with me recently. Forget it, in the future I won’t force you to read English. You can do whatever you want. You always never listen, so when I force you, I might as well force myself. Today I have something to speak to you about.”

I forcefully nodded my head. I didn’t know if he saw that I had nodded my head. When he said “something to speak to you about” I felt that my neck had gotten cervical spondylosis and would not move. It was extremely stiff.

Fang Yuke’s subject suddenly s.h.i.+fted, “Before I talk about this, I want to first ask you something. Yesterday, what was the situation with you and that online friend? Also, why are you wearing a skirt?  Are you going to meet your online friend again? How come you can’t fix your bad habit of being a love-struck fool?”

When he talked to me like that in the past, I would say, “I pledge my life to maintain my right to be a love-struck fool. I pledge my life to ensure the right to attract the gazes of all hot guys.”

But now, when he said those things, it seemed to pierce me like a needle. Afterall, I didn’t know that I would be the one to initiate the break up and that he could still criticize me. I thought that I had come here to accept his apology and then I would generously bless him and agree to break up, and we would be done.