Part I Part 124 (2/2)
Completely inaccurate but much more comfortable.
Despite the relative levels of denial, my face heated up. I hate it when people laugh at me. An old, quiet hurt mixed in with my nervousness and I struggled to maintain the suppression spell.
Yeah, I said spell. See, I really am a wizard. I do magic. I've run into vampires and demons and a lot of things in between, and I've got the scars to show for it. The problem was that technology doesn't seem to enjoy coexisting with magic. When I'm around, computers crash, lightbulbs burn out, and car alarms start screaming in warbling, drunken voices for no good reason. I'd worked out a spell to suppress the magic I carried with me, at least temporarily, so that I might at least have a chance to keep from blowing out the studio lights and cameras, or setting off the fire alarms.
It was delicate stuff by its very nature, and extremely difficult for me to hold in place. So far so good, but I saw the nearest cameraman wince and jerk his headset away from his ear. Whining feedback sounded tinnily from the headset.
I closed my eyes and reined in my discomfort and embarra.s.sment, focusing on the spell. The feedback died away.
”Well, then,” Larry said, after half a minute of happy talk. ”Morty, you've been a guest on the show several times now. Would you care to tell us a little bit about what you do?”
Mortimer widened his eyes and whispered, ”I see dead people.”
The audience laughed.
”But seriously. Mostly I conduct seances, Larry,” Mortimer said. ”I do what I can to help those who have lost a loved one or who need to contact them in the beyond in order to resolve issues left undone back here on earth. I also offer a predictions service in order to help clients make decisions on upcoming issues, and to try to warn them against possible danger.”
”Really,” Larry said. ”Could you give us a demonstration?”
Mortimer closed his eyes and rested the fingertips of his right hand on the spot between his eyes. Then in a hollow voice he said, ”The spirits tell me...that two more guests will soon arrive.”
The audience laughed, and Mortimer nodded at them with an easy grin. He knew how to play a crowd.
Larry gave Mortimer a tolerant smile. ”And why are you here today?”
”Larry, I just want to try to raise public awareness about the realm of the psychic and paranormal. Nearly eighty percent of a recent survey of American adults stated that they believed in the existence of the spirits of the dead, in ghosts. I just want to help people understand that they do exist, and that there are other people out there who have had strange and inexplicable encounters with them.”
”Thank you, Morty. And Harry-may I call you Harry?”
”Sure. It's your nickel,” I responded.
Larry's smile got a shade brittle. ”Can you tell us a little bit about what you do?”
”I'm a wizard,” I said. ”I find lost articles, investigate paranormal occurrences, and train people who find themselves struggling with a sudden development of their own abilities.”
”Isn't it true that you also consult for the Special Investigations department at Chicago PD?”
”Occasionally,” I said. I wanted to avoid talking about SI if I could. The last thing CPD would want was to be advertised on The Larry Fowler Show The Larry Fowler Show. ”Many police departments across the country employ such consultants when all other leads have failed.”
”And why are you here today?”
”Because I'm broke and your producer is paying double my standard fee.”
The crowd laughed again, more warmly. Larry Fowler's eyes flashed with an impatient look behind his gla.s.ses, and his smile turned into a gnas.h.i.+ng of teeth. ”No, really, Harry. Why?”
”For the same reasons as Mort-uh, as Morty here,” I answered. Which was true. I'd come here to meet Mort and get some information from him. He'd come here to meet me, because he refused to be seen near me on the street. I guess you could say I don't have the safest reputation in the world.
”And you claim to be able to do magic,” Larry said.
”Yeah.”
”Could you show us?” Larry prompted.
”I could, Larry, but I don't think it's practical.”
Larry nodded, and gave the audience a wise look. ”And why is that?”
”Because it would probably wreck your studio equipment.”
”Of course,” Larry said. He winked at the audience. ”Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?”
There was more laughter and a few catcalls from the crowd. Pa.s.sages from Carrie Carrie and and Firestarter Firestarter sprang to mind, but I restrained myself and maintained the suppression spell. Master of self-discipline, that's me. But I gave the fire door beside the stage another longing look. sprang to mind, but I restrained myself and maintained the suppression spell. Master of self-discipline, that's me. But I gave the fire door beside the stage another longing look.
Larry carried on the talk part of the talk show, discussing crystals and ESP and tarot cards. Mort did most of the talking. I chimed in with monosyllables from time to time.
After several minutes of this, Larry said, ”We'll be right back after these announcements.” Stagehands help up signs that read APPLAUSE APPLAUSE, and cameras panned and zoomed over the audience as they whistled and hooted.
Larry gave me an annoyed look and strode offstage. In the wings, he started tearing into a makeup girl about his hair.
I leaned over to Mort and said, ”Okay. What did you find out?”
The dumpy ectomancer shook his head. ”Nothing concrete. I'm still getting back into the swing of things in contacting the dead.”
”Even so, you've got more contacts in this area than I do,” I said. ”My sources don't keep close track of who has or hasn't died lately, so I'll take whatever I can get. Is she at least alive?”
He nodded. ”She's alive. That much I know. She's in Peru.”
”Peru?” It came as a vast relief to hear that she wasn't dead, but what the h.e.l.l was Susan doing in Peru? ”That's Red Court territory.”
”Some,” Mort agreed. ”Though most of them are in Brazil and the Yucatan. I tried to find out exactly where she was, but I was blocked.”
”By who?”
Mort shrugged. ”No way for me to tell. I'm sorry.”
I shook my head. ”No, it's okay. Thanks, Mort.”
I settled back in my seat, mulling over the news.
Susan Rodriguez was a reporter for a regional yellow paper called the Midwestern Arcane Midwestern Arcane. She'd grown interested in me just after I opened up my practice, hounding me relentlessly to find out more about all the things that go b.u.mp in the night. We'd gotten involved, and on our first date she wound up lying naked on the ground in a thunderstorm while lightning cooked a toadlike demon to gooey bits. After that, she parlayed a couple of encounters with things from my cases into a widespread syndicated column.
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