Part I Part 83 (1/2)

She s.h.i.+vered as I Named her, at least in part.

I licked my lips and moved towards her. ”Susan. I want to help you. All right? I want to help you if I can.”

She swallowed another whimper. ”But. I'm so thirsty. I can't.”

I reached out as I approached her, and plucked a hair from her head. She didn't react to it, though she leaned closer to me, inhaling through her nose, letting out a slow moan on the exhale. She could smell my blood. I wasn't clear on how much of the toxin would be in my bloodstream, but I didn't want her to be hurt. No time to dawdle, Harry.

I took the hair and wound it about my right hand. It went around twice. I closed my fist over it, then grimaced, reaching out to grab Susan's left hand. I spat on my fingers and smoothed them over her palm, then pressed her hand to my fist. The bond, already something tenuously felt in any case, thrummed to life like a ba.s.s cello string, amplified by my spit upon her, by the hair in my own hands, the joining of our bodies where our flesh pressed together.

I closed my eyes. It hurt to try to draw in the magic. My weakened body shook. I reached for it, tried to piece together my will. I thought of all the times I'd had with Susan, all the things I'd never had the guts to tell her. I thought of her laugh, her smile, the way her mouth felt on mine, the smell of her shampoo in the shower, the press of her warmth against my back as we slept. I summoned up every memory I had of us together, and started trying to push it through the link between us.

The memories flowed down my arm, to her hand-and stopped, pressing against some misty and elastic barrier. G.o.dmother's spell. I shoved harder at it, but its resistance only grew greater, more intense, the harder I pushed.

Susan whimpered, the sound lost, confused, hungry. She rose up onto her knees and pressed against me, leaning on me. She snuggled her mouth down against the hollow of my throat. I felt her tongue touch my skin, sending an electric jolt of l.u.s.t flas.h.i.+ng through me. Even close to death, hormones will out, I guess.

I kept struggling against G.o.dmother's spell, but it held in place, powerful, subtle. I felt like a child shoving fruitlessly at a heavy gla.s.s door.

Susan s.h.i.+vered, and kept licking at my throat.

My skin tingled pleasantly and then started to go numb. Some of my pain faded. Then I felt her teeth against my throat, sharp as she bit at me.

I let out a startled cry. It wasn't a hard bite. She'd bitten me harder than that for fun. But she hadn't had eyes like that then. Her kisses hadn't made my skin go narcotic-numb then. She hadn't been halfway to members.h.i.+p in Club Vampire then.

I pushed harder at the spell, but my best efforts grew weaker and weaker. Susan bit harder, and I felt her body tensing, growing stronger. No longer did she lean against me. I felt one of her hands settle on the back of my neck. It wasn't an affectionate gesture. It was to keep me from moving. She took a deep, shuddering breath.

”In here,” she whispered. ”It's in here. It's good.”

”Susan,” I said, keeping the feeble pressure on my G.o.dmother's spell. ”Susan. Please don't. Don't go. I need you here. You could hurt yourself. Please.” I felt her jaws begin to close. Her teeth didn't feel like fangs, but human teeth can rip open skin just fine. She was vanis.h.i.+ng. I could feel the link between us fading, growing weaker and weaker.

”I'm so sorry. I never meant to let you down,” I said. I sagged against her. There wasn't much reason to keep fighting. But I did anyway. For her, if not for me. I held on to that link, to the pressure I had forced against the spell, to the memories of Susan and me, together.

”I love you.”

Why it worked right then, why the webbing of my G.o.dmother's spell frayed as though the words had been an open flame, I don't know. I haven't found any explanation for it. There aren't any magical words, really. The words just hold the magic. They give it a shape and a form, they make it useful, describe the images within.

I'll say this, though: Some words have a power that has nothing to do with supernatural forces. They resound in the heart and mind, they live long after the sounds of them have died away, they echo in the heart and the soul. They have power, and that power is very real.

Those three words are good ones.

I flooded into her, through the link, into the darkness and the confusion that bound her, and I saw, through her thoughts, that my coming was a flame in the endless cold, a beacon flas.h.i.+ng out against that night. The light came, our memories, the warmth of us, she and I, and battered down the walls inside her, crushed away Lea's lingering spell, tore those memories away from my G.o.dmother, wherever she was, and brought them back home.

I heard her cry out at the sudden flush of memory, as awareness washed over her. She changed, right there against me-the hard, alien tension changed. It didn't vanish, but it changed. It became Susan's tension, Susan's confusion, Susan's pain, aware, alert, and very much herself again.

The power of the spell faded away, leaving only the blurred impression of it, like lightning that crackles through the night, leaving dazzling colors in the darkness behind.

I found myself kneeling against her, holding her hand. She still held my head. Her teeth still pressed against my throat, sharp and hard.

I reached up with my other shaking hand, and stroked at her hair. ”Susan,” I said, gentle. ”Susan. Stay with me.”

The pressure lessened. I felt hot tears fall against my shoulder.

”Harry,” she whispered. ”Oh, G.o.d. I'm so thirsty. I want it so much.”

I closed my eyes. ”I know,” I said. ”I'm sorry.”

”I could take you. I could take it,” she whispered.

”Yes.”

”You couldn't stop me. You're weak, sick.”

”I couldn't stop you,” I agreed.

”Say it again.”

I frowned. ”What?”

”Say it again. It helps. Please. It's so hard not to ...”

I swallowed. ”I love you,” I said.

She jerked, as though I'd punched her in the pit of the stomach. ”I love you,” I said again. ”Susan.”

She lifted her mouth from my skin, and looked up, into my eyes. They were her eyes again-dark, rich, warm brown, bloodshot, filled with tears. ”The vampires,” she said. ”They-”

”I know.”

She closed her eyes, more tears falling. ”I tr-tried to stop them. I tried.”

Pain hit me again, pain that didn't have anything to do with poison or injuries. It hit me sharp and low, just beneath my heart, as though someone had just shoved an icicle through me. ”I know you did,” I told her. ”I know you did.”

She fell against me, weeping. I held her.

After a long time, she whispered, ”It's still there. It isn't going away.”

”I know.”

”What am I going to do?”

”We'll work on that,” I said. ”I promise. We have other problems right now.” I filled her in on what had happened, holding her in the dimness.

”Is anyone coming for us?” she asked.

”I ... I don't think so. Even if Thomas and Michael got away, they couldn't storm this place. If they ever even got out of the Nevernever. Michael could go to Murphy, but she couldn't just smash her way in here without a warrant. And Bianca's contacts could probably stall that for a while.”

”We have to get you out of here,” she said. ”You've got to get to a hospital.”

”Works in theory. Now we just have to work out the details.”