Part 45 (1/2)

I love you and I continue to hope that someday you will marry me. In fact, I'll ask you again. Will you be my wife?

Charlotte had gone with him to the train. It seemed impolite not to, especially after having slept with him the night before.

She was still a messa”angry with him for leaving, angry at herself for her vast list of sins. And there were so many. Or so she'd believed.

He was silent in the taxi, silent as they walked into the station.

She wanted to tell him to be careful, to stay safe, but really, what was the point? He was going off to war and she probably wasn't going to see him alive again.

Somehow she managed not to cry.

And then there they were. Standing by the train. Moments from parting, perhaps forever.

Vince was in his uniform. It made him look even younger than he wasa”as if twenty-one wasn't young enough to diea” because it hung on him a little too loosely. He still hadn't regained all the weight he'd lost from being injured and ill.

I don't need an answer right away. I hope you 'II take a good long time to think about ita”all the way to the end of the war. And this war will end, my sweet Charlie, and we will win. I can promise you that.

”Well,” he said, setting his duffel bag down on the platform next to him.

”I just want you to know that I don't regret last night,” she told him, all in a burst.

Vince nodded, looking searchingly into her eyes. If he wanted answers, he wasn't going to find them there. She didn't know anything right now. She could barely remember to keep breathing.

”I don't, either,” he said, and smiled. ”And there's the understatement of the century. Charlotte, last nighta””

”Don't,” she said. ”I don't regret it, but it didn't ... It wasn't real.”

”It was very real to me. I'm going to come back, and we are going to make love again. Believe it.”

”I can't,” she whispered. ”I wish I could, but...”

I know I've promised you that I'll return, and you 're right. That is a promise I cannot truly make. I will try my best though, and G.o.d willing, you will see me again.

But I've been to war before, and I knowa”as you knowa” all too well what it's like. I've made arrangements with my sister to send a letter to you and Mrs. Fletcher if I should be killed, so that you aren't left wondering.

”I'm not waiting for you,” she told him. As the words left her lips she couldn't believe she could be that cruel.

But he just laughed. ”I know,” he said. ”I'm waiting for you. Just let me know when you're ready, okay?”

She refused to cry. She'd cried when James had left for the last time. He'd gotten on a train, too. Heading out to California, heading to a s.h.i.+p that was to be deployed from San Diego. She could have gone with him for that train ride, but they'd decided to save the money for the futurea”a future that never happened, because, halfway around the world from her, he'd died.

But I need you to know, my dearest, that if lam to die, I will not die alone. You are part of me now. You are in my heart. I know that you love me. I know this is truea”whether you know it yourself or not. And that knowledge will be with me always. Your love for me will be my constant companion, along with my memories of the beautiful night we shared. It will keep me warm from now until the day I diea”whether that day is tomorrow or a hundred years from tomorrow.

”All aboard!”

Vince glanced over his shoulder at the train, his mouth tightening and his eyes dark with worry. He was leaving to fight in a war, and he was worried about her. ”If you need me, I'll be in Fort Pierce for a few months at least. The training isa””

She didn't want to hear about the training he was going to undertake. She didn't want to know. She didn't want to mark her calendar and think of him. She couldn't bear it. ”You better go.”

He nodded and put his arms around her, but she didn't respond. She couldn't. He kissed her, but she turned her face and he only kissed her cheek.

He picked up his bag and, touching her cheek one last time, he turned and climbed up the steps. She turned, too, and hurried away.

”Hey!” he shouted after her. ”Charlie!”

She stopped but she didn't turn back. She couldn't bear to look at him again.

”I love you!” he shouted over the din as the train began to move. ”And I know you love me, too!”

She ran for the stairs as she started to cry, wis.h.i.+ng with all her heart that she hadn't been such a coward, wis.h.i.+ng that she had kissed him, too.

Out in the grinder, Sam stretched his legs, waiting for the rest of Team Sixteen to gather for a late-afternoon run.

In just a few hours, the team's officers and chiefs would be locked inside in a meeting, putting the final details on this demo they were supposed to be doing during the presidential dog and pony show.

Final detailsa”that was pretty funny, considering they didn't even have much more than preliminary details. Previous meetings about this event usually started with someonea” usually Sama”saying, ”Why the f.u.c.k can't the Leap Frogs put on this PR show so we can get our a.s.ses back to Afghanistan and do something worthwhile?” and then deteriorated into a discussion of security measures on base.

Muldoon was the next officer to arrive, looking grim. Whatever had gone down with Joan in his office earlier hadn't been good. Of that, Sam was certain.

”Everything okay?” Sam asked.

”Everything's great.” Muldoon turned his attention to his knee brace.

”Hey, Lieutenant Muldoon. You're my new hero. I used to think you were too polite, but not anymore.” Izzy joined them, with Gilligan and Cosmo trailing along behind him. ”You had a rough a.s.signment night before lasta”doing it Navy SEAL style! Hoo-yah! I laughed my a.s.s off when I heard that. And man, that news clip of that dress coming off! What a pair of ha””

”She was drunk,” Muldoon said shortly. ”The only thing I did that night was get Ms. Bryant away from the news camera. After we went inside she pa.s.sed out. Didn't you see the press conference she gave yesterday? She's going into rehab. The woman is not well. Show a little respect.”

”I must've missed that,” Izzy said. ”But rewind a sec. She pa.s.sed out after you went inside, you said. Would that be right after?” The petty officer was determined to keep his big mouth flapping for as long as he possibly could. Sam suspected that he'd picked up on Muldoon's tension and was determined to get a rise out of the usually easygoing lieutenant. ”Because I read somewherea”in Penthouse, I thinka”that Brooke Bryant is a real hummer. Kind of hard to turn that down, huh, sir? I mean, there's that face and that smile you've seen in a lot of magazines and newspapers, and she's going to worka””

”Don't you know what respect means, Zanella?” Muldoon asked, his voice a little too soft, a little too dangerous.

”Oh, I do, sir.” Izzy was a son of a b.i.t.c.h. ”And were it me, sir, I would have respected her fully.”

”At that press conference today,” Cosmo told Izzy, ”she apologized and called Lieutenant Muldoon 'an officer and a gentleman.'”

”Okay.” Sam straightened up. ”Gossip hour is over.” Izzy opened his mouth to comment, but they were all spared his further pearls of wisdom by Wildcard, who had hit the yard already at a dead run, dragging Jenk behind him.

”You guys hear this latest s.h.i.+t?” the Card asked, skidding to the kind of stop that would have made a cartoon character proud. Except the look on his face was almost as grim as Muldoon's. He was gazing directly at Sam, and when he got no response other than a headshake no, he pushed Mark Jenkins forward. ”Tell 'em what you told me.”

”I wasn't supposed to tell even you, Chief,” Jenk protested.

”An FBI team went head-to-head in a firefight with an al-Qaeda cell right here in San Diego today,” Wildcard announced.

”s.h.i.+t,” Izzy said, Brooke Bryant finally forgotten. ”Where?”

”Apartment complex on the edge of town. The TV news has released some kind of story about gang violencea” someone wants to keep the real story hushed.” Wildcard turned to Sam and dropped an even bigger bomb. ”There's a body count, Sam, and rumor has it the casualties are not all terrorists.”