Part 12 (1/2)

I have heard that the bitterest pang a boy feels on returning to school after his first holidays is reserved for the moment when he opens his desk and recalls the happy hour, full of joyous antic.i.p.ation, when he had closed that desk with a bang. Oh, the pity of it! The change from that boy to this, from that morning to this evening! How meanly, how inadequately--so it seems to the urchin standing with smudged cheeks before the well-remembered grammar--did the lad who turned the key estimate his real happiness! How little did he enter into it or deserve it!

Just such a pang shot through the young rector's heart as he pa.s.sed into the rectory porch after that momentous scene at Mrs. Hammond's. His rage had had time to die down. With reflection had come a full sense of his position. As he entered the house he remembered--remembered only too well, grinding his teeth over the recollection--how secure, how free from embarra.s.sments, how happy had been his situation when he last issued from that door a few, a very few, hours before. Such troubles as had then annoyed him seemed trifles light as air now. Mr. Bonamy's writ, the dislike of one section in the parish--how could he have let such things as these make him miserable for a moment?

How, indeed? Or, if there were anything grave in his situation then, what was it now? He had held his head high; henceforward he would be a by-word in the parish, a man under a cloud. The position in which he had placed himself would still be his, perhaps, but only because he would cling to it to the last. Under no circ.u.mstances could it any longer be a source of pride to him. He had posed, will he, nill he, as the earl's friend; he must submit in the future to be laughed at by the Greggs and avoided by the Homfrays. It seemed to him indeed that his future in Claversham could be only one long series of humiliations. He was a proud man, and as he thought of this he sprang from his chair and strode up and down the room, his cheeks flaming. Had there ever been such a fall before!

Mrs. Baker, as yet ignorant of it all, though the news was by this time spreading through the town, brought him his dinner, and he ate something in the dining-room. Then he went back to the study and sat idle and listless before his writing-table. There was a number of ”Punch” lying on it, and he took this up and read it through drearily, extracting a faint pleasure from its witticisms, but never for an instant forgetting the cloud of trouble brooding over him. Years afterward he could recall some of the jokes in that ”Punch”--with a shudder. Presently he laid it down and began to think. And then, before his thoughts became quite insufferable, they were interrupted by the sound of a voice in the hall.

He rose and stood with his back to the fire, and as he waited, his eyes on the door, his face grew hot, his brow defiant. He had little doubt that the visitor was Clode. He had expected the curate before, and even antic.i.p.ated the relief of pouring his thoughts into a friendly ear. None the less, now the thing had come, he dreaded the first moment of meeting, scarcely knowing how to bear himself in these changed circ.u.mstances.

It was not Clode, however, who entered, but Jack Smith. The rector started, and, uncertain whether the barrister had heard of the blow which had fallen on him or no, stepped forward awkwardly, and held out his hand in a constrained fas.h.i.+on. Jack, on his side, had his own reasons for being ill at ease with his friend. But the moment the men's hands met they somehow closed on one another in the old hearty fas.h.i.+on, and the grip told the rector that the other knew all. ”You have heard?” he muttered.

”Mr. Bonamy told me,” the barrister answered. ”I came across almost at once.”

”You do not believe that I was aware of the earl's mistake, then?” Lindo said, with a faint smile.

”I should as soon believe that I knew of it myself!” Jack replied warmly. He was glad beyond measure now that he had come. As he and Lindo stood half facing one another, each with an elbow on the mantel-shelf, he felt that he could defy the chill at his own heart--that, notwithstanding all, his old friend was still dear to him. Perhaps if the rector had been prospering as before, if no cloud had arisen in his sky, it might have been different. But as it was, Jack's generous heart went out to him. ”Tell me what happened, old fellow,” he said cheerily--”that is, if you have no objection to taking me into your confidence.”

”I shall be only too glad of your help,” Lindo answered thankfully, feeling indeed--so potent is a single word of sympathy--happier already. ”I would ask you to sit down, Jack,” he continued, in a tone of rather sheepish raillery, ”and have a cup of coffee or some whiskey, but I do not know whether I ought to do so, now that Lord Dynmore says the things are not mine.”

”I will take the responsibility,” Jack answered, briskly ringing the bell. ”Was my lord very rude?”

”Confoundedly!” the rector answered, and proceeded to tell his story. Jack was surprised to find him at first more placable than he had expected, but presently he learned that this moderation was only a.s.sumed. The rector rose as he went on, and began to pace the room, and, the motion freeing his tongue, he gradually betrayed the indignation and resentment which he really felt. Jack asked him, with a view to clearing the ground, whether he had quite made up his mind not to resign, and was astonished by the force and anger with which he repudiated the thought of doing so. ”Resign? No never!” he cried, standing still, and almost glaring at his companion. ”Why should I? What have I done? Was it my mistake, that I am to suffer for it? Was it my fault, that for penalty I am to have the tenor of my life broken? Do you think I can go back to the Docks the same man I left them? I cannot. Nor is that all, or nearly all,” he added still more warmly--”I have been called a swindler and an impostor. Am I by resigning to plead guilty to the charge?”

”No!” said Jack, himself catching fire, ”certainly not! I did not intend for a moment to advise that course. I think you would be acting very foolishly if you resigned under these circ.u.mstances.”

”I am glad of that,” the rector said, sitting down with a sigh of relief. ”I feared you did not quite enter into my feelings.”

”I do thoroughly,” the barrister answered, with feeling, ”but I want to do more--I want to help you. You must not go into this business blindly, old man. And, first, I think you ought to take the archdeacon or some other clergyman into your confidence. Show him the whole of your case, I mean, and----”

”And act upon his advice?” said the young rector, rebellion already flas.h.i.+ng in his eye.

”No, not necessarily,” the barrister answered, skilfully adapting his tone to the irritability of his patient. ”Of course your bona fides at the time you accepted the living is the point of importance to you, Lindo. You did not see their solicitors--the earl's people, I mean--did you?”

”No,” the rector answered somewhat sullenly.

”Then their letter conveyed to you all you knew of the living and the offer?”

”Precisely.”

”Let us see them, then,” replied Jack, rising briskly from his chair. He had already determined to say nothing of the witness whom Mr. Bonamy had mentioned to him as a.s.serting that the rector had bribed him. He knew enough of his friend to utterly disbelieve the story, and he considered it as told to him in confidence. ”There is no time like the present,” he continued. ”You have kept the letters, of course?”

”They are here,” Lindo answered, rising also, and unlocking as he spoke the little cupboard among the books; ”I made them into a packet and indorsed them soon after I came. They have been here ever since.”

He found them after a moment's search and without himself examining them, pitched them to Jack, who had returned to his seat. The barrister untied the string and glancing quickly at the dates of the letters, arranged them in order and flattened them out on his knee. ”Now,” he said, ”number one! That I think I have seen before.” He mumbled over the opening sentences, and turned the page. ”Hallo!” he exclaimed, holding the letter from him, and speaking in a tone of surprise--almost of consternation--”how is this?”

”What?” said the rector.

”You have destroyed the latter part of this letter! Why on earth did you do that?”

”I never did,” Lindo answered incredulously. Obeying Jack's gesture he came, and, standing by his chair, looked over his shoulder. Then he saw that part of the latter half of the sheet had been torn off. The signature and the last few words of the letter, were gone. He looked and wondered. ”I never did it,” he said positively, ”whoever did. You may be sure of that.”

”You are certain?”

”Absolutely certain,” the rector answered with considerable warmth. ”I remember arranging and indorsing the packet. I am quite sure that this letter was intact then, for I read over every one. That was a few evenings after I came here.”

”Have you ever shown the letters to any one?” Jack asked suspiciously.

”Never,” said the rector; ”they have never been removed from this cupboard, to my knowledge, since I put them there.”

”Think! I want you to be quite sure,” Jack rejoined, pressing his point steadily; ”you see this letter is rendered utterly worthless by the mutilation. Indeed, to produce it would be to raise a natural suspicion that the last sentence of the letter was not in our favor, and we had got rid of it. Of course the chances are that the earl's solicitors have copies, but for the present that is not our business.”

”Well,” said the rector somewhat absently--he had been rather thinking than listening--”I do remember now a circ.u.mstance which may account for this. A short time after I came a man broke into the house and ransacked this cupboard. Possibly he did it.”

”A burglar, do you mean? Was he caught?” the barrister asked, figuratively p.r.i.c.king up his ears.

”No--or, rather, I should say yes,” the rector answered. And then he explained that his curate, taking the man red-handed, had let him go, in the hope that, as it was his first offence, he would take warning and live honestly.

”But who was the burglar?” Jack inquired. ”You know, I suppose? Is he in the town now?”

”Clode never told me his name,” Lindo answered. ”The man made a point of that, and I did not press for it. I remember that Clode was somewhat ashamed of his clemency.”

”He had need to be,” Jack snorted. ”It sounds an extraordinary story. All the same, Lindo, I am not sure it has any connection with this.” He held the letter up before him as though drawing inspiration from it. ”This letter, you see,” he went on presently, ”being the first in date would be inside the packet. Why should a man who wanted perhaps a bit of paper for a spill or a pipe-light unfasten this packet and take the innermost letter? I do not believe it.”

”But no one else save myself,” Lindo urged, ”has had access to the letter. And there it is torn.”

”Yes, here it is torn,” Jack admitted, gazing thoughtfully at it; ”that is true.”

For a few moments the two sat silent, Jack fingering the letter, Lindo with his eyes fixed gloomily on the fire. Suddenly the rector broke out without warning or preface. ”What a fool I have been!” he exclaimed, his tone one of abrupt overwhelming conviction. ”Good heavens, what a fool I have been!”

His friend looked at him in surprise, and saw that his face was crimson. ”Is it about the letter?” he asked, leaning forward, his tone sharp with professional impatience. ”You do not mean to say, Lindo, that you really----”

”No, no!” replied the young clergyman, ruthlessly interrupting him. ”It has nothing to do with the letter.”

He said no more, and Jack waited for further light, but none came, and the barrister reapplied his thoughts to the problem before him. He had only just hit upon a new idea, however, when he was again diverted by an interruption from Lindo. ”Jack,” said the latter impressively, ”I want you to give a message for me.”

”Not a cartel to Lord Dynmore, I hope?” the barrister muttered.

”No,” Lindo answered, getting up and poking the fire unnecessarily--what a quant.i.ty of embarra.s.sment has been liberated before now by means of pokers--”no, I want you to give a message to your cousin---Miss Bonamy, I mean.” The rector paused, the poker still in his hand, and stole a sharp glance at his companion; but, rea.s.sured by the discovery that he was to all appearance buried in the letter, he continued: ”Would you mind telling her that I am sorry I misjudged her a short time back--she will understand--and behaved, I feel, very ungratefully to her? She warned me that there was a rumor afloat that something was amiss with my t.i.tle, and I am afraid' I was very rude to her. I should like you to tell her, if you will, that I--that I am particularly ashamed of myself,” he added, with a gulp.

He did not find the words easy of utterance--far from it; but the effort they cost him was slight and trivial compared with that which poor Jack found himself called upon to make. For a moment, indeed, he was silent, his heart rebelling against the task a.s.signed to him. To carry his message to her! Then his n.o.bler self answered to the call, and he spoke. His words, ”Yes, I'll tell her,” came, it is true, a little late, in a voice a trifle thick, and were uttered with a coldness which Lindo would have remarked had he not been agitated himself. But they came--at a price. The Victoria Cross for moral courage can seldom be gained by a single act of valor. Many a one has failed to gain it who had strength enough for the first blow. ”Yes, I will tell her,” Jack repeated a few seconds later, folding up the letter and laying it on the table, but so contriving that his face was hidden from his friend. ”To-morrow will do, I suppose?” he added, the faintest tinge of irony in his tone. He may be pardoned if he thought the apology he was asked to carry came a little late.

”Oh, yes, to-morrow will do,” Lindo answered with a start; he had fallen into a reverie, but now roused himself. ”I am afraid you are very tired, old fellow,” he continued, looking gratefully at his friend. ”A friend in need is a friend indeed, you know. I cannot tell you”--with a sigh--”how very good I think it was of you to come to me.”

”Nonsense!” Jack said briskly. ”It was all in the day's work. As it is, I have done nothing. And that reminds me,” he continued, facing his companion with a smile--”what of the trouble between my uncle and you? About the sheep, I mean. You have put it in some lawyer's hands, have you not?”

”Yes,” Lindo answered reluctantly.